Toddler going through something

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Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:28 am

My 3 years old daughter is going through something.
Im not sure what it is.
She is not herself.
She is usuauly full of life and happiness. Smart, capable, independent etc.
Now she is closed off. Pushing people around her away verbally and physically. (Not her type)
It started with waking up at nights and asking me to do things for her like bringing her water, covering her, wiping her tears etc. Almost to just keep me busy and available.
Then we moved to the other side of town and she started stuttering. It came with ticks and noises. Its slowly getting better but here and there shell get stuck again with her stutter.
She doesnt want to get toilet trained. She is very smart and understands it all.
She is almost like holding on to her young age determined not to mature or grow up.
She can get very upset or sad. She can cry, a very sad cry. Like she is hurting.
She recently started physically hurting me, trying to test me and see my reaction.
I try to ignore and more on.
She can all the sudden let out a shreek out of frustration.
Shell use baby language or noises instead of words and do things on purpose that arent okay.
Im at a loss.
Im not sure what is bothering her.
I honestly am being so patient and accepting and loving.
I tried letting her explore sensory in all different ways.
I try reading her books to calm her down or coloring.
She is well fed, healthy as far as im concerened and I reallydont know what to do.
My heart goes out to her.
She is in distress, she is hurting and it makes me so sad to see her like that.
Im not sure what im looking for in this topic.
Maybe words of encouregment and strengths?
Maybe suggestions of what can help her?
Maybe someone recognizes these symptons and can navigate me to a solution?
And maybe just to vent and share in a nonjudgmental form...
I hope things get better, please Hashem, watch over my daughter, help her, and help me to be able to help her as well.

jewishmom6

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:32 am

did you rule out strep?

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:34 am

jewishmom6 wrote:

did you rule out strep?

I didn't think of that. I'll check that out. Thank you.

tichellady

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:37 am

Do you have a baby recently?

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:40 am

tichellady wrote:

Do you have a baby recently?

No. She is an only child.
I work part time so I get to spend time with her. We have great bonding times. We call it Mommy Clubs. We always had and still have time together to spend and chat and enjoy.

amother

Orange

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:45 am

I think it’s the age. I had the same with my daughter when she turned three. I just give her extra love and attention which helps.

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:48 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I think it’s the age. I had the same with my daughter when she turned three. I just give her extra love and attention which helps.

Aha, I hear. Okay. Hopefully this will pass quickly. I miss the old her and I'm sure this is hard for her as well.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:51 am

I'd say to first off, take her to the doctor to get her ears, throat, etc. checked, just to make sure.

And then...I read your list a few times, and I wonder whether she's a young three year old who is just hitting the "terrible two" phase late. Nothing in there stands out as very different than what many kids go through during that phase, and many many parents are surprised about it (especially with their first) and convinced something is wrong because "But she was NOT like this beforehand!" I've had kids who hit the phase late, and it was like a switch went off and BOOM! Easygoing, pleasant kid all of the sudden starts acting in what seems like a "crazy" way. Is this your first? If so, maybe read some books on this phase and see whether it sounds familiar.

amother

Viola

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:52 am

I would check for Lyme, pandas and strep.

A lot of what your describing is exactly what my 3 year old would do but he was always like that, it wasn’t a sudden a change.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:53 am

check for strep/ Pandas

alot of what you wrote here fits

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:00 pm

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

You know, that can totaly be it.
She is my oldest and she just turned three a few days ago and never had her "terrible twos"... Maybe thats that... I'll bring it up to the doctor anyway...
Thank you.

amother

Trillium

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:02 pm

Is it possible someone is abusing her or touching her inappropriately?

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:08 pm

amother [ Trillium ] wrote:

Is it possible someone is abusing her or touching her inappropriately?

Its a good question. I thought about it myself.
I doubt it since I tought her in a very young age her body parts and that no one can touch her v etc. If a neighbor / friend whould push her etc she'll tell that child "dont touch my body".
I also spend a lot of time with her so I know no one was able to do that, BH.

elmommy

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:13 pm

Honestly, I wouldnt go as far as the other posters are saying PANDAS etc but do bring her to the dr. Kids at her age cant express themselves well and when theyre sick it appears in behavior. One kid I work with her age had a crazy change in behavior like this and the mother brought her to dr for blood work and she had a rare bacteria and needed really strong antibiotics.
My daughter whose a bit younger had similar and I brought her to pediatrician who checked everything and she was clear. Did a swab for respiratory virus's just to see and she came back positive for 2 of them.

In short- bring her to dr. not nec something as extreme as pandas, might be a routine virus or bacteria or something really basic.

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:19 pm

elmommy wrote:

Thats a good point. I'll look into that,
I'll definitly bring her to the doctor.
Thank you.

amother

Darkblue

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:34 pm

Tics, noises (vocal tics?) and stutter are dead giveaways that it’s pandas (or pans). Behaviors are easier to explain away as emotional or a phase, but the tics and stutter are clearly neurological. Please have her see a pandas expert. I deeply regret the year we spent thinking it was a behavioral phase until we finally figured out it was pandas. The sooner you treat, the better chance at recovery you have.

Sukarya

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:37 pm

amother [ Darkblue ] wrote:

Really? I had no idea.
What are PANDAS? I guess I"ll do some research...
Thank you.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:39 pm

amother [ Darkblue ] wrote:

Where did you go for treatment?

amother

Darkblue

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:41 pm

Sukarya wrote:

Really? I had no idea.
What are PANDAS? I guess I"ll do some research...
Thank you.

Yes, the rest of the symptoms are big red flags too, like aggression, meltdowns, oppositional and defiant behavior, regressive (babysish) behavior, emotional lability, social withdrawal, sleep disturbances etc. All very much part of the package. But like I said, they are less obvious because at that age they can still be explained away as developmentally appropriate. But again, in hindsight it will be very clear.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:41 pm

Yes Pandas or pans, please make sure it’s something your doctor understands. First get checked for any strep or other bloods ... but the screaming out of no where and the tics and stutter is big pandas . I wish someone had told me this when my child was that age, we didn’t get help for yours. It was always blamed on anxiety and did traditional therapy.... Hatzlacha Refuah shelama.

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