Throwing a child in a pool

amother

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:56 am

Recently we were at a hotel with family friends. We all went to the indoor pool together to have some fun family time.

At one point, the 6 year old friend was standing outside of the pool near the deep. His dad came out of nowhere, lifted him up, and threw him into the deep. The mom started screaming “HE CAN’T SWIM HE CAN’T SWIM.” My heart caught in my throat and I froze.

Quickly a few of the kids in the pool lifted him out of the water and the dad just stood there awkwardly and helped pull him out.

The child didn’t look at his father and walked right to his mother as he was shaking from fear and shock. She was horrified by what happened and tried to comfort him.

Anyway, I’m posting this because I’m curious what others think. I’ve heard of this idea before to throw a kid in the pool because they actually have a reflex to keep themself above water. But I didn’t see this happen, and it was quite traumatizing. The mom was mad at the dad, and the dad felt stupid about what he did (or so it seemed).

Have you ever heard of this? Or done this? It seems quite horrific.

amother

Lightcyan

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:05 pm

Idiotic.

I have one child who can't swim yet, but loves to be thrown into or jump into the pool. He is able to come up on his own, but he immediately flounders and sinks; he cannot remain afloat unassisted. We don't allow him to jump in unless I or DH are in the pool ourselves ready to help him.

amother

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:07 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

Newborn babies have that reflex. Not children.

That was dumb, dangerous, and it doesn’t sound normal at all.

So people throw newborns into pools? I’ve actually seen some vids like that on insta a while back. Like it was a trend

amother

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:09 pm

essie14 wrote:

The father is an idiot. I've never seen a parent do something like that.
The child could have very well drowned.
A 6 year old should have swimming lessons.

I agree.
Actually, now that we’re on the topic, does anyone know if it’s halacha for parents to provide swimming lessons to their children?
I always thought that it’s halacha. DH’s family never got swimming lessons and only 2 of them know how to swim.

Amarante

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:10 pm

The father was an idiot and abusive as well.

I have read about people who remember this kind of experience as haunting them for the rest of their life as a major emotional trauma with their parents.

Based on reading and not personal experience thankfully I would suspect that the father also has other toxic ideas of parenting in terms of "toughening" up children - especially male children.

ETA - I don't think any responsible person would actually toss an infant into a pool or any child or even any adult because it could be dangerous even if the person is a strong swimmer.

I think people are misunderstanding that you can start infants swimming by taking them into a pool with an adult and that if you release them they might start paddling and staying buoyant and enjoying the experience.

And you can certainly take very young children into a pool or other body of water safely when they are young and they will probably not be afraid of the water and will naturally start to learn basic stuff like floating or a doggie paddle type of thing or kicking their feet. Then formal swimming will be a more natural thing.

Last edited by Amarante on Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So people throw newborns into pools? I’ve actually seen some vids like that on insta a while back. Like it was a trend

Some swimming instructors start their lessons by throwing the kid in the pool, but the instructor is right there to catch the child and the child is told that they'll be trown in.
Maybe the father got mixed up and thought it's a different child that could swim.

Tzutzie

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:11 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

Newborn babies have that reflex. Not children.

That was dumb, dangerous, and it doesn’t sound normal at all.

This. I think something up to 6 months or so. Then if it isn't exercised, the reflex will go away.

Still I could never understand it how parents can do it. What if the child swallowed to much water or inhaled water? They can chv dry drown. Yikes!

My child is way too precious to take that risk

LovesHashem

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So people throw newborns into pools? I’ve actually seen some vids like that on insta a while back. Like it was a trend

Yes it’s a thing. When your baby is in your stomache it’s in a sack of fluid, essentially swimming to some degree. Therefore if you expose your baby to water early early on it will retains its ability to swim.

At least this is what I’ve read and heard. It may not work for everyone. Obviously there should always be someone there in case the baby can not swim. I would not do this unless I was with a lifeguard and someone experienced in this method.

amother

Navy

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So people throw newborns into pools? I’ve actually seen some vids like that on insta a while back. Like it was a trend

My friend in Florida has sent me videos of a professional doing it in her pool with her babies. Not really a newborn. But under a year. The child is taught to flip to back and float.
She says if someone owns a pool it is essential.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:16 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you live around water then yes.

We have a big lake in the neighborhood. My 8yo knows how to swim and keep above water upright, on her stomach and her back. . My 6 yo is learning. She can swim but isn't very confident in her ability to yet.

When they were little I told them that the neighbors dog in the kennel right next to their pool is there to guard the pool. If a kid gets near the dog can attack.

We put up fences around our property but from the front door ir was easy access and my kids are such daredevils. I was terrified.

I figured it's better to make then afraid of dogs that to risk drowning. Bh at this point they are ok with the dogs and can swim.

amother

Purple

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:20 pm

So I'm going to go out on a limb here, and admit that my loving, wonderful grandfather did this to us (me, my siblings, my cousins).

I was pretty young, and most of my sibs/cousins are older than me, but my memories of it were positive. We would always hear everyone talk about "one day he's just going to throw you in, and you'll swim!" He had a pool at his house, so I was used to navigating the pool and wasn't afraid of water. I was excited and nervous about it. And then one day he said "I think it's time!" and threw me in, and I swam! I was so proud of myself. I imagine I must have been 5 or 6 years old, but I'm not sure.

Would I do it to my own kids? I'd probably be too scared to. But I think it sort of depends on how you do it. He obviously waited until he thought I was ready first, and I knew what was happening.

I happen to love swimming, until today, fwiw.

simcha2

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It's from massachet Kidushin, where it lists a father's obligation to his child (bris, pidyon haben, teach a parnassah, find a shidduch) "and some say to swim"

amother

IndianRed

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't think the halacha is still applicable today. Back in the day, people had to travel across dangerous waters in an unsafe way when they went to do business, that's why fathers had to teach their son to swim.

honeymoon

Mon, Oct 11 2021, 12:31 pm

amother [ IndianRed ] wrote:

I think the same would be the case if someone owns a pool or lives next to a body of water.