Home

12 yr old DS getting thrown out of yeshiva: Help
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 10:17 pm
Our DS yeshiva just informed us that they will be throwing out our son because he doesn't stay in class and if he does he talks to the boys near him.
He is taking Adderall 10 MG because he has ADHD but it makes him stay awake at night and he is loosing weight which he can't afford because he is skinny as it is.
I also just took him to the eye doctor because he is seeing double and he needs prisms which we need to get.

Any advice as what to do with him.
We are in Monsey so anyone could suggest a place or a therapist I could take him to?
We need to do something fast.
Back to top

amother




White
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 10:20 pm
Did this come out of no where? All of a sudden they are saying this with no warning or there have been issues all along? I’m only asking because there can be an argument made that they Should try to work with you. Are the issues completely hyper and focus or is it behavioral I.e. chutzpah?
Back to top

amother




Natural
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 10:48 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Our DS yeshiva just informed us that they will be throwing out our son because he doesn't stay in class and if he does he talks to the boys near him.
He is taking Adderall 10 MG because he has ADHD but it makes him stay awake at night and he is loosing weight which he can't afford because he is skinny as it is.
I also just took him to the eye doctor because he is seeing double and he needs prisms which we need to get.

Any advice as what to do with him.
We are in Monsey so anyone could suggest a place or a therapist I could take him to?
We need to do something fast.


schedule to meet the principal/ menahel

make him feel you are a team and you need his advice

ask him from his exper with ADHD who would be a goog ttherapist who was successful

you want to work with him

pls keep us posted@

are you in YSV?
Back to top

Violet123




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:08 pm
Is it only ADD?
I live in monsey and a also had issues with my sons schooling
You can pm me
I may be able to help you


Last edited by Violet123 on Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:02 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother




Holly
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:22 pm
He may he a good fit for Bais Hachinuch. They will take in the middle of the year. I would have a conversation with them.
Back to top

amother




Cherry
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:32 pm
There needs to be some kind of responsibility from the school towards your son. You can't just throw a kid out. You need a long term plan.
12 yrs old is very late to start adhd medication. Did he manage without it until now? How? Maybe it had to do with rebbi/new teaching style?
10 mg is a very low dose. Did you try melatonin to make him fall asleep? Can he eat a big breakfast or big supper after meds wears off? Eat more on Fridays/shabbos?
Maybe he can stay in school and have a private rebbi for an hour everyday?
Ask for meeting with principal, rebbi and english teacher ASAP!!!
Back to top

amother




DarkViolet
 

Post Mon, Oct 11 2021, 11:35 pm
I am not in Monsey so no advice only hugs! I've been there when my DS with HF ASD was thrown out of yeshiva in middle of the year despite all the work we were putting in. Wishing you much hatzlacha and may Hashem send you the right sheluchim for you to help you son with whatever is needed easily and with clarity.
Back to top

amother




Impatiens
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:37 am
It is not right to throw him out in the middle of the year. The school has the responsibility to recommend / or get him in somewhere else or to work with him till the end of this year. What are you supposed to do with him now? It’s only October. It is not ok. Have somebody call up and speak to them.
What is with monsey school throwing people out for every little thing?
Back to top

amother




Gold
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:41 am
If he’s seeing double make sure you take him to a neurologist as well, to rule anything neurological out.
Wishing you much hatzlacha!
Back to top

naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:39 am
This maybe a bitter pill to swallow but

I was where you are when my son was 12
He went to PS, got a very good education, got the services he needed
Now hes 25, .iving in Israel, learning, working and is solidly frum

Many of the kids who were in yeshiva with him with similar issues, and stayed in yeshiva k-12 are now OTD

Speak to a good Rov and a capable therapist
Back to top

amother




Emerald
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:44 am
Seeing double is very concerning + adhd symptoms, have you done a full workup?? Tested for lyme, if he got a bite in summer now is when you'd start seeing effects....
Back to top

amother




Violet
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 2:40 am
My ds lost weight on Adderall too. Focalin XR works much better for him.

We also hired tutors to pull him out for part of shiur.
Back to top

amother




Canary
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 6:52 am
OP, just want to say that you are not alone. My son was kicked out of school at age 7 and now dealing with similar issues at age 8. We are doing a tremendous amount of outside interventions and shelling out a lot of $$$ but it doesn't seem to help. Just realize that it's not a reflection of you and keep davening. Sorry I can't help more
Back to top

amother




Bone
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:02 am
Seeing double can be a side effect of medication as well.
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:41 am
It's not just Monsey.

DD was kicked out of school in the middle of second grade, because she had anxiety and perfectionist OCD (not diagnosed until later). She was actually wanting to do so well that it got in her way of doing the work. She's a good kid!

The other school in the area wouldn't even take her application. They told me to put her in public school, because "she's a girl, it's not like she needs kodesh." They basically just washed their hands and left her hefker.

B'H the public school got her evaluated, set up and IEP, and had pull out for some of her classes. She also got speech and language, and social skills groups. They even had an all girls' after school sports program that she excelled in.

It just goes to show you, that if a school wants to make it work, then it will work. If they don't value your child and can't be bothered to even try, you're better off leaving anyway.
Back to top

amother




Periwinkle
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:44 pm
Can’t advise on the other aspects of this, but if you’re in Monsey, maybe go daven at the Ribnitzer Rebbe.
Back to top

amother




Starflower
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:56 pm
My son has ADHD and ASD and is thriving finally in yeshiva Ohr Dovid in Brooklyn.
I know you live in Monsey but maybe theres a way to make it work or there is a similar school closer
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:04 pm
My son has ADHD and borderline ASD and was basically kicked out of yeshiva at the end of 1st grade. The school was not fully wrong in that they felt his needs were not being met there but they went about it in the absolute worst possible way. A friend and I have a joke about what happens when schools are run by men. They have interesting ideas about how to communicate with parents. I really really empathize with how you feel its terrible. I lost my cool with the hanhala on a few different occasions. I try to block that out lol not my finest moments.

We were able to keep him in yeshiva by sending him part time to a local theraputic program where he was in a class of 6 boys and two teachers. We also adjusted his medication and that helped a lot. I think when the yeshiva saw that we were diligently working on his issues they were more amenable to working with us. He went back to yeshiva for 3rd grade and is k'ah in 5th now and is really doing well.
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:23 pm
amother [ Bone ] wrote:
Seeing double can be a side effect of medication as well.


And I know weight loss can be a side affect of ADD meds. I didn't now about double vision.
But double vision+weight loss an also be symptoms of hyperthyroidism. Is this something his pediatrician wants to check?
Back to top

#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:29 pm
OP, offer to hire a SHADOW who will give rewards for DS being quiet in class

and take DS out of class for regular breaks.
DS should silently hand shadow an "I Need A Break Card" or some Token.

DS should sit near the door so they can leave quietly when DS needs a break.

(I am a SEIT).
Back to top
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How are UPS people getting into my hall w locked door?
by amother
31 Yesterday at 2:32 pm View last post
How would you answer this question from an 18 yr old boy?
by amother
12 Mon, Nov 29 2021, 1:48 pm View last post
2 yr old refuses the antibiotics
by amother
8 Sun, Nov 28 2021, 11:52 pm View last post
Can a 9 yr old be facing teenhood already?
by amother
5 Sat, Nov 27 2021, 11:08 pm View last post
Looking for yeshiva for a smart 17yo smart but not a learner
by amother
19 Sat, Nov 27 2021, 10:14 pm View last post