12 yr old DS getting thrown out of yeshiva: Help

amother

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 2:24 pm

Thank you all for your help. It is nice to know I am not alone in this journey.

We did blood work and everything is good. No lyme no PANDAS.
His yeshiva used to be great when the old timers where there when my older boys where in yeshiva but now there are younger new menahels that school very differently then the older ones.
We are trying to work with the school but I feel that if we were money people they would treat us differently.

Anyone could recommend a place I could take him for an eval or a therapist?

Violet123 would you be able to email me instead or I could email you?

amother

Alyssum

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 3:56 pm

My 11 year old is also on the verge of being kicked out - he has ADHA and ODD, takes concerta, am running to a million therapist and spending a fortune of money and nothing seems to help...Am going mad - am considering to give him away as its effecting my whole family plus marriage...

Surrendered

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 4:12 pm

amother [ Alyssum ] wrote:

it's possible that Concerta is not the right medication for him. It wasn't a good fit for my son. Medication is a big gamble, try and fail until you find the right one with the right dose. That can be a life changer for your son and your relationship with him.

amother

Tealblue

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 4:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Our DS yeshiva just informed us that they will be throwing out our son because he doesn't stay in class and if he does he talks to the boys near him.
He is taking Adderall 10 MG because he has ADHD but it makes him stay awake at night and he is loosing weight which he can't afford because he is skinny as it is.
I also just took him to the eye doctor because he is seeing double and he needs prisms which we need to get.

Any advice as what to do with him.
We are in Monsey so anyone could suggest a place or a therapist I could take him to?
We need to do something fast.

Sinai Schools or the program at TABC?

amother

Lilac

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 5:00 pm

mha3484 wrote:

No 12 year old boy I know would cooperate with a shadow. Its mortifying to them. I would tread very carefully on that one. It could seriously tank his self esteem and social skills.

I agree. Having a shadow places a boy in a totally different social category. It's sometimes necessary, but it comes at a price.

amother

Lilac

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 5:06 pm

amother [ Alyssum ] wrote:

Have you considered sending him to a totally different type of school, rather than trying to bend and medicate him to fit into yeshiva? Yes, even public school.

Having a challenging kid can be torture, and your pain is very obvious. I think in such a situation, you really need to think out of the box and think of any option possible to save your kid's self esteem and happiness. A total change of school (and expectations) often does wonders.

amother

Beige

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 6:56 pm

I contend the yeshiva system is broken. Who are these perfect children yeshiva principals exclusively want? My 5 year old was kicked out of school last year. FIVE. What is the future of klal Yisroel if we can’t educate ALL of our children where they are at? I have 2 children in special schools now, and I’m done with all this nonsense. BTW I hate Adderall and Concerta. Vyvanse is where it’s at. Lol.

amother

Cherry

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:48 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Vyvanse had very serious side effects for my son, we had to stop.
There are lots of meds out there, some will work with one kid and not another, impossible to know without trying!

#BestBubby

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:51 pm

Caffeinated Coffee works similar to Ritalin.

Also recommended: Get more sleep, Get more exercise by day - like Karate, Less sugar, No food coloring
Magnesium is calming - some health food stores have special vitamin supplements for ADHD.

More extreme diet - no dairy, no gluten (wheat)

amother

Beige

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:23 pm

amother [ Cherry ] wrote:

Vyvanse had very serious side effects for my son, we had to stop.
There are lots of meds out there, some will work with one kid and not another, impossible to know without trying!

Okay. So it didn’t work for you.

amother

Alyssum

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:33 am

Surrendered wrote:

Sorry, mixed up the medication - we tried Ritalin, twice a day and modified version, concerta, something custtom made in pharmacy and now straterra.
On the previous ones he had too many side effects - not sleeping , eating, depressed to a point where he wanted to kill himself... HE went to a special school, but now he wants to be like "everyone else"

When they get older they dont cooperate anymore and I really dont know what to do anymore.

Is there an institution that takes such kids?

amother

Jade

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 7:01 am

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

Sinai Schools or the program at TABC?

im looking into sinai at ycq for my son but im so scared that they charge a fortune and I hope ill be able to pay for it...

amother

Celeste

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 7:04 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

I came here to say this. Unfortunately I have a sibling who probably needed an eval and a different school and instead my parents agreed to medicate him to keep him in the yeshivish school that as far as I can see didn't do anything to actually help him prepare for his future. They were so against sending him to anything outside of the box even if inside the box was terrible for him. Also what do you think it does to a child's self esteem to know that their mechanchim they see every day literally wanted to kick them out. Better they should switch schools to a different type that is more accepting. Is shaarei arazim the kind of place that would be a fit?

amother

Aster

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 7:10 am

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

Sinai Schools or the program at TABC?

TABC is a high school, he can't go there when he is 12. Also pretty sure that program at TABC is Sinai, unless they also have another program. That said, Sinai is definitely something to look into.

Also, to the amother who's worried about the price for Sinai, nobody pays the sticker price. They walk you through the process of suing the district. If you win, you only end up paying a little more than a typical tuition.