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Why is no one working and how do they live?
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:50 am
I’m hearing and seeing over and over recently how so many ladies are not working, quit their jobs etc. just because it was getting to hard, they needed a break, too many little kids and house to juggle etc. but I just don’t get how they are living?! Everyone has their own story. This ones relative gave them a nice chunk of $ to tide them over, this one is nicely managing with child tax credit check plus the increased bmg kollel check etc everyone seems to be making it work while living with such emunah…Dh tells me I can do the same. I work so hard and I also wish I can go clothes shopping for myself on a random day at 11am or actually have time to get a waxing etc. he says it just works if that’s what you need and rely on hashem. I told him that sounds nuts. I’m just so confused….
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:52 am
You do know not everyone is in kollel
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amother




Quince
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:53 am
Some men actually have the ull of parnasa while the moms raise the kids. It does still exist!
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amother




Clear
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:55 am
I stopped working recently. We pay our bills with my husband’s income (he got a new job about a year ago that earns more than we used to make combined). Not everyone has a husband who learns all day.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:56 am
Hello dh also works. I dont only mean if the dh is in Kollel. It was one such example.
I mean when the family can’t really rely on just one income but they do it anyway…and still live ‘normally’

Sorry I used the kollel example. I know it’s a no-no here
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amother




Pearl
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:57 am
I am reading this on my way to work.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:58 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hello dh also works. I dont only mean if the dh is in Kollel. It was one such example.
I mean when the family can’t really rely on just one income but they do it anyway…and still live ‘normally’

Sorry I used the kollel example. I know it’s a no-no here

How do you know everyone’s financials?
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amother




DarkGray
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:58 am
Where do you live that this is happening? All my friends, family and neighbors are all working. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t work at least part time.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 12:59 am
amother [ DarkGray ] wrote:
Where do you live that this is happening? All my friends, family and neighbors are all working. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t work at least part time.


Lakewood
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:01 am
Zehava wrote:
How do you know everyone’s financials?


I don’t obviously. That was partly my question. But I have recently spoken to four different friend about them doing this and they’ve been telling me how amazing life with some details but I feel like I’m missing something here …
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amother




DarkYellow
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:04 am
I'm home with my little ones but it's only temporary. Been 2 years and will probably only be able to do it for another year. It's probably really a stupid unwise decision but this has been my dream to be home with my young children and I guess I want to feel like I have enjoyed my life the best I could. It's probably really selfish of me.

I am not out clothing shopping at 11 am. I hardly ever buy new clothing for myself. I don't go for waxes. We hardly ever go on vacation. We live in a small house and sacrifice so I can live this dream of mine.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:05 am
amother [ Clear ] wrote:
I stopped working recently. We pay our bills with my husband’s income (he got a new job about a year ago that earns more than we used to make combined). Not everyone has a husband who learns all day.

And not everyone has a husband who earns twice the amount of income he and his wife were making last yr. that’s my question. Got nothing to do with kollel
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amother




DarkGray
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:07 am
I live in Lakewood too and I don’t know anyone not working. I don’t know what you mean by no one is working. It seems to be a minority.
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:07 am
I don't think I know anyone who doesn't work at least part time.
And I don't know anyone in kollel either. All my friends' husbands work.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:08 am
amother [ DarkYellow ] wrote:
I'm home with my little ones but it's only temporary. Been 2 years and will probably only be able to do it for another year. It's probably really a stupid unwise decision but this has been my dream to be home with my young children and I guess I want to feel like I have enjoyed my life the best I could. It's probably really selfish of me.

I am not out clothing shipping at 11 am. I hardly ever buy new clothing for myself. I don't go for waxes. We hardly ever go on vacation. We live in a small house and sacrifice so I can live this dream of mine.


Lucky you!! Happy you make it work! But I guess I’m not talking about your type of scenario. So many friends, acquaintances, old workmates have stopped working cuz they need a break and their dh aren’t working at any major position and they tell me money just comes and it’s awesome. And yes, they are shopping and running errands and most send most of their kids out
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amother




Lightyellow
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:14 am
Yes op I get you. I do know a few people that aren't working and sometimes wonder what they do with all the free time. But remember that we really don't know what goes on in other people's lives and if someone isn't working they may be going through something difficult. Try to tell yourself that you don't see the full picture. And if you really feel like you want to stop working then sit down and make a calculation of your expenses and husband's income and see if you will be able to get by. Good luck!
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amother




Quince
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:19 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hello dh also works. I dont only mean if the dh is in Kollel. It was one such example.
I mean when the family can’t really rely on just one income but they do it anyway…and still live ‘normally’

Sorry I used the kollel example. I know it’s a no-no here

Some men take the full responsibility and don’t expect the wife to work no matter what. They will take out loans if they need to but let the wife stay home to raise the kids.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:30 am
I think that it is very individual but people make it work when it becomes a priority.

Is it a priority for you?
Or do you believe staying home is wrong regardless?

I don't think that many people just rely on Hashem. But most people just make detailed calculations to afford the desired lifestyle.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Lucky you!! Happy you make it work! But I guess I’m not talking about your type of scenario. So many friends, acquaintances, old workmates have stopped working cuz they need a break and their dh aren’t working at any major position and they tell me money just comes and it’s awesome. And yes, they are shopping and running errands and most send most of their kids out


Seems like they have sources of income that they don't want to share with you. Maybe they have passive income and have money just flowing in every month.
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amother




Clematis
 

Post Tue, Oct 12 2021, 1:48 am
I was working very full time, the price of commuting, babysitting and takeout took out half my salary. So now I "stay home" and still spend money on cleaning help but everyone wins and this is the cost of life. I have no idea what dh makes but he encourages this
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