Why is no one working and how do they live?

imorethanamother

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:19 pm

Hey, Watermelon. Don't be upset.

I'm someone who's always worked. I think I had like a week off after I had my first, because my boss wanted me back and I was scared of losing my job.

I don't consider it a source of anguish. I consider it a source of strength. I feel like a partner in my marriage. I don't feel bad if there's a wig I want to buy, or a Starbucks coffee I get. I approach my husband when childcare is too much on my shoulders, and he takes it more on because he recognizes my contributions to the marriage.

I think, all too often, women who don't work are at a bit of a disadvantage. I don't want to get into it here, but I believe every woman needs a way to support herself and her family if she has to. There's honestly something wonderful about - in your case especially - building something of your own, like a business. Yes, it's work, but it's something to be proud about. You don't think your children see that? They didn't lose out. I see what my mother created, and it inspires me all the time.

Be proud. You're amazing! What other people get has no bearing on you. It doesn't take anything away from you. Don't be in survival mode, be aware that Hashem is taking care of you and setting you up for success. (I don't say this lightly - I struggle with it too and it's something I have to remember every day)

imorethanamother

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:23 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

goodies way back when I could have saved my money and maybe have a well deserved retirement. But I still have to work. Do you comprehend what 37% tax is? I am not wealthy. I am very very resentful.

By the way, my grandparents worked as long as they could not because they couldn't afford not to, but because they wanted to. There's purpose in work. It keeps your mind alive. The richest people still work, because they see the value in it. Retirement is mostly a pipe dream for most of us anyway, with school tuitions being what they are.

I do give you a bracha that work should get more prosperous for you and flexible so that you can get the vacation of your dreams!

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:24 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Government deliberately makes health insurance to be very expensive.

So people will be willing to accept "free" socialized government health care.

I would be Thrilled to be able to pay a lot for good insurance! I pay $20000 a year for only me and my husband for insurance that few decent doctors accept and I have a $6000 deductible each! Physical therapy that is not post surgery is not covered at all. And this is the very best I can get because we can only buy on the exchange. This was Obama's great service to people like me. I put my single child on medicaid so at least HE can get good insurance. I lose the tax deduction but I look at the loss as the price of his insurance. He is far better off than I, having medicaid instead of the **** insurance I have no choice but to purchase.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:27 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

Thank you. I guarantee you NO ONE would do the job that I do at this stage of life because they want to.

#BestBubby

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:29 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

I believe there is a Jewish Health Share where one can save a lot of money.

Anyone know the name?

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:31 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

Thank you very much. I happen to agree with you and have mostly felt this way. I can look back and be very proud bH. BUT. These freebies at my expense incenses me!

Last edited by amother on Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:35 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

Yes, I can bH make ends meet. Is that all I am "entitled" too??? I suffered for many years working like a slave while raising my family. I had no choice. I would also have loved to be a sahm. I lost out on the best years of my life. And now I have to pay to support other people for a privilege I was not afforded. Where is my "entitlement"?? I had to spend my money to live instead of being able to save and retire. Had I had free child care and all the other goodies way back when I could have saved my money and maybe have a well deserved retirement. But I still have to work. Do you comprehend what 37% tax is? I am not wealthy. I am very very resentful.

37% tax rate is only on the money you make over $518,000 (I just googled it). Not even the whole thing. Just the amount that's over.

Are you sure you're not wealthy?

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 7:53 pm

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

37% tax rate is only on the money you make over $518,000 (I just googled it). Not even the whole thing. Just the amount that's over.

Are you sure you're not wealthy?

It's not only how much you make it's also how much you have to spend. For many years we struggled financially and did not make ends meet but still did not qualify for any breaks. That can only lead to one thing - debt. So now we work to live and to pay our debts back, bH. I am still paying off yeshiva tuition from 15 years ago. I have married children that I am lucky to help support. As we age we have wonderful new expenses such as 5 dental implants in one year ($35000), surgery and medical tests, very expensive home repairs which come with a home that is aging too...I still do have yeshiva tuition too and iyH hope to make another wedding. But bH we are in a good place now and I am very very grateful. I am not complaining about not having enough $. That would be a slap in HKBH's face chas v'shalom. I would just like to keep more of my own hard earned income for myself and not have to pay for other people's "entitlements", especially since I am not "entitled" to any myself. I give plenty of tzedakah and I am so grateful to be able to help my kids. I am happy for everyone to get everything they want for free! Just not out of my pocket.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:02 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

The people who are getting child tax credits are making under $150k, much less than you. Maybe they also have tuition to pay? What about braces? (No, Medicaid doesn't always cover that). Maybe they actually got a chance to replace that 10 year old, torn and stained couch. Maybe they want to save for weddings. You cant necessarily do all that in that income bracket.

Really, if $550,000 isn't wealthy, $120,000 is not wealthy at all. And there might be plenty of stuff they cant afford. I don't mean caviar and champagne, I mean basics such as tuition, braces....

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:14 pm

I tried to make it clear that for many many years we did not make ends meet. I put 4 children through braces out of my own pocket. Not only that, when my older children were young, vaccinations and well visits were not even covered by insurance! Let alone dentist bills! I got no breaks or benefits. So I am still paying for all that until this day. BH I can now! But I don't want to pay for YOURS. I didn't get to save. I slept in a bed that severely tilted - who thought about a couch! I went back to work 3 days after giving birth. I went straight from work having fasted all day to have surgery and went right back to work the next day. I worked the day after my child's wedding. Now I can bH replace my couch. Now I can save. Thank you HKBH. If someone needs tzedakah it is a zchus for me to give. But I don't believe I have to supplement your home improvements or your savings account at my expense.

amother

Moccasin

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:35 pm

amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:

I tried to make it clear that for many many years we did not make ends meet. I put 4 children through braces out of my own pocket. Not only that, when my older children were young, vaccinations and well visits were not even covered by insurance! Let alone dentist bills! I got no breaks or benefits. So I am still paying for all that until this day. BH I can now! But I don't want to pay for YOURS. I didn't get to save. I slept in a bed that severely tilted - who thought about a couch! I went back to work 3 days after giving birth. I went straight from work having fasted all day to have surgery and went right back to work the next day. I worked the day after my child's wedding. Now I can bH replace my couch. Now I can save a little. Thank you HKBH. If someone needs tzedakah it is a zchus for me to give. But I don't believe I have to supplement your home improvements or your savings account at my expense.

I'm sorry this is so hard for you.
But you need to understand we all have choices in this world. Hashem decides who has what and how they should get it. If I truly believe hashem gave the the men the job to make parnassa, why in heavens name would I work myself to the bone to work daily, be pregnant, push out kids, take care of newborns, toddlers, clean the house and yadiyada... Wouldn't I just believe that hashem will give me what I'm supposed to have by allowing my husband to make the parnassa and me taking care of my family?
You had a choice. You can't be bitter about your decisions you have made.
You also can't be bitter that some rediculous govt is doing what they are doing.
The govt will take someone else's tax money if not for yours. So again.. You had the choice to run a business and make money and pay the taxes. Noone says you need to. Was it the right thing? That's up to you to decide..
Some people would rather live with much less and have govt insurance and live every so simply (and not buy what they see and not support their married children - so hey they aren't getting those top notch shidduchim) but that's their choice. And again they have that choice. There's good and bad to every choice people make. It's sad to see that you feel like your whole life went down the drain. It didn't. You did what you saw fit and be proud of your accomplishments. Your not changing the govt unfortunately. So if you want to continue to make the money you are, understand the govt is still in charge. You can't be bitter for the people that are receiving govt money though. That's their choice on how to live.

amother

Watermelon

Tue, Oct 12 2021, 8:53 pm

With all due respect, I do not believe you have read through my posts. I worked for Food and Shelter. I worked to pay for my children's daily needs. Is it a choice to need to eat? Is it a choice to need a roof over your head? Is it a choice to pay for your children's yeshiva education? Is it a "choice" to pay back debt? Not in my book. Now bH I can "choose" to help my married kids etc. Now I can maybe even choose not to work! I am not bitter about my life c"v. I am bitter about being a victim of Robin Hood and his merry thieves. I have worked all my life to try to pay for my life. I don't want to pay for Yours. I give tzedakah gladly. That is not what we are talking about here.