Why is no one working and how do they live?

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:48 am

pause wrote:

Let's not get into a Mommy War again. (SAHM vs working moms) Everyone does the best they can do.

I don't think it's a war to point out that for many mothers of small children, if they stop working they are only losing a small amount of money (after paying childcare, work related costs and taxes) and if they choose to cut back and live very simply instead of working, that is a valid choice.

Women who's husbands don't work at all or are working at minimum wage jobs don't have a choice, but for most of us who's husbands are actually working a decent job, the above options usually apply.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:50 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

I don’t feel like it’s mommy wars.

I think it’s ppl feeling it’s ok to be a SAHM by taking govt assistance rather then being self sufficient.

It’s really not mommy wars. It’s govt welfare wars.

I don't think you're getting it.

The government assistance is coming regardless (this thread was not about medicaid or food stamps, which are for low income, this stimulus was for any family making under $150K), it's just helping some women make the choice to live more simply and be more present for their children. Which in all honesty is a GOOD thing.

pause

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:52 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

It is Mommy wars because people are justifying their decision to work or not work, to take govt assistance or not, by saying what kind of mother they are to their kids. Do they value presence over presents. Do they prioritize being there for their kids or being self-sufficient.

Everyone makes the decisions they feel works best for them. And sometimes the same people make different decisions based on how their circumstances or their feelings about their circumstances change. Let's respect other people's choices.

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 3:27 pm

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

Why should one work so hard just to cover the costs of working itself?

I mean taxes and society and stuff are nice, but not at the cost of my mental health and life. I pay taxes whenever I buy anything, and from DH's income. Why can't I take from government programs if I apply?

Sewsew_mom

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 3:37 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

You go girl.. Get a shield for protection if u may add anything to prepare you.

amother

White

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:24 pm

Just chiming in here because I went shopping for clothing at 11 am today and was wondering if you were talking about me!
I would tell you that I work 3 different jobs but had 2 hours free today in my schedule and grabbed the opportunity to do something for myself, which was over my budget but I’ve been struggling with a lot and it felt like a balm to my soul
I even felt guilty because we don’t have much money and I don’t have a lot of luxuries but I needed to do something for myself
So hope you weren’t being jealous of me
I’m tempted to also think that way when I see people enjoying time off from work or a vacation or a free summer or great cleaning help or whatever else I’m lacking and I have found that
It’s not worth comparing
Women carry a lot and we need to support each other, not compare our gifts and challenges

amother

Watermelon

Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:55 pm

amother [ Mintgreen ] wrote:

Is this a new rule?

It's as old as Obama Care. It is terrible. Until 2 years ago I was always able to find an okay plan although I had to keep switching every year as one insurance company after another dropped their individual market plans. But as of last year there are no option left. I am stuck with MARKETPLACE EmblemHealth or Fidelis which is worse than Medicaid. No decent specialists to go to. I just spoke to someone at ECHO who told me Obama knew this would happen but did not care. I live in NY. I consulted with RCCS they told me it's better in some other states like NJ, Baltimore and Florida. But I can't move there. I am supposed to have surgery and I can't find a decent doctor to do it. No one wants to accept plans purchased on the Exchange. And I pay $$$$ for it with an obscene deductible.

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:51 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I guess I don’t get it.
Bec dh snd I work really hard. And after paying out full tuition of close to 50k (in lkwd) and health insurance we have to live simply. We drive old cars. Live in tiny house with large family. Never eat out. Haven’t been on a plane in 15 yrs. no vacations ever bec we take vacation for yom tov. And I work full time from home snd keep my babies home until they are 2.. Shop clothing sales for kids snd myself. Graco carriage.
My neighbors tell me all the great stuff they are doing with extra money from govt and I just smile bec we got little or nothing. So ppl think we are rich. But really we need those salaries to survive.
So I really do understand living simply. I don’t understand how anyone affords it.
Bh we are able to save a little for future.
I must be missing it. Unless your dh makes a great salary or you get support I see 2 salaries being necessary to live simply.

So the message of this thread is I should stop working. Cut our family salary in 1/2. Get a huge defuction in my tuition (ie let someone else pay it) . Start getting food stamps snd Jersey care for my kids. Be eligible for all the stimulus snd child credits snd rebates at end of the year.
Bec why kill yourself. They are giving it anyways.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:29 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

Sorry but you missed it. I doubt they're giving another stimulus and the extra child tax credits expire in January. I know. Life is not fair.

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:27 am

[quote="#BestBubby"]Yes, Obama wanted Obamacare to fail. So then government can "fix" it with SOCIALIZED medicine

Obamacare is not failing. It is a failure for a specific group of people. Self-employed individuals with no employees. My husband and I fall into that subset. Some people get around that by putting their children on payroll. In my specific case this would not work for various reasons which I will not bore you with. Perhaps your comment was facetious, hard for me to tell as I don't do sarcasm.

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:29 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

Hang in there. Life is a marathon not a sprint. I do believe in the end we are still better off.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:33 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

Sorry but you missed it. I doubt they're giving another stimulus and the extra child tax credits expire in January. I know. Life is not fair.

I just want to clarify the child tax credits which has absolutely no bearing on this discussion but I can't help myself.

The extra child tax credit is an advancement on filing taxes. Half is given monthly through December unless someone opted out. The rest will be given when they file income taxes in 2022.

(That being said, many speculators believe it will be extended but no one knows at this point if it will actually happen and at what capacity. And no one should plan their financial situation around this I just wanted this to be accurate.)

imaima

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:50 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

No.
The message of this thread for me is that everyone has their own pekel. This is the message of many threads.

People have different priorities, circumstances and energy levels. Seeing someone shopping during the day doesn't mean anything.

The bottom line for me is: if you work and love your life, enjoy it!

If you work and don't like your life, analize it and see what can be changed.

If there is nothing you can change, accept it as a difficult phase and don't envy those who can actually achieve the lifestyle that they like.

In your case, if your job is not dead end, I would not quit it regardless of the benefits.

amother

Holly

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:56 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

That’s exactly the message I’m getting. Also, that if you work it’s your choice, you can choose to live simply and be on all govt programs so why kill yourself

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 8:01 am

amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:

I wouldn't be working if I were you. I need to be making enough money that's it's WORTH me killing myself to work.

In your place I'd be depressed, bitter, and unhappy. I could care less about driving a nice car. I live in Israel, we don't even HAVE a car. But I need vacations, I need to have hobbies, I need to go out to eat every so often, and have time and energy to go to the beach a few times a year.

It's so so nice for everyone to say go work and don't take government money. Are the people advocating that in our positions? Where you don't have time, money, or energy to ever do anything for yourself, to ever rent an airbnb for a night, to ever just go on a day trip, go on a hike?

But everyone is different. I won't tell you what to do. On a recent thread I posted about me working and many poster recommended me to stop, based on the time and energy work needs - it's not worth it. Simply isn't