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Why is no one working and how do they live?
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amother




Mulberry
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 8:30 am
I live in your community. I don’t work. I have a wealthy sibling who subsidizes my husbands income so that I can live comfortably and stay home and raise my family.

I appreciate it and hope it’s temporary.
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amother




Forsythia
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:43 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
I wouldn't be working if I were you. I need to be making enough money that's it's WORTH me killing myself to work.

In your place I'd be depressed, bitter, and unhappy. I could care less about driving a nice car. I live in Israel, we don't even HAVE a car. But I need vacations, I need to have hobbies, I need to go out to eat every so often, and have time and energy to go to the beach a few times a year.

It's so so nice for everyone to say go work and don't take government money. Are the people advocating that in our positions? Where you don't have time, money, or energy to ever do anything for yourself, to ever rent an airbnb for a night, to ever just go on a day trip, go on a hike?

But everyone is different. I won't tell you what to do. On a recent thread I posted about me working and many poster recommended me to stop, based on the time and energy work needs - it's not worth it. Simply isn't


So going out to eat and staying in air bnb is a right?
The govt should subsidize that lifestyle?
Ppl shouldn’t pay full tuition so they can do those things?
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amother




Burntblack
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:20 am
Everything has strings attached and at the end of the day the self sufficient people are the best off as they are not relying on other people or programs.

I have sister in law who is like you describe, she tutors one hour a day and her husband learns. They have 8 kids and nice house and nice cars. They are on every program that exist and her wealthy parents help them out a lot enabling them to live the way they do. Dh and I both work full time are not on programs or get any family help and yes it does seem like they are living better than we are.

A few years back we were planning a vacation together and I mentioned a location and she said oh we cant go there, my parents wont let me take the van so far. It was such an eye opener for me. Her parents obviously paid for her van and she still had to answer to them. I would way rather my not as nice car and not have to answer to anyone how I use it and the same goes for my whole life. Everything I have is from my hard work and I answer to no one!

There really is no such thing as a free lunch!!!
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:36 am
amother [ Forsythia ] wrote:
So going out to eat and staying in air bnb is a right?
The govt should subsidize that lifestyle?
Ppl shouldn’t pay full tuition so they can do those things?


I think it’s different in Israel, as tuition is cheap.

I think you have the right to choose. Honestly, in Israel there’s not food stamps and government programs as much. There’s rental assistance if you are low income, and free or subsidised college, but that’s it.

And if these programs exist, and I apply, why shouldn’t I take? I don’t understand. Like I said, my DH has a job and he pays taxes. I still have to pay tax on my home, and tax whenever I buy anything. I do everything legally and within my right. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that.

Not working just means that I don’t make a ton of money that goes right back to taxes, and childcare costs.
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amother




Cognac
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:46 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
I think it’s different in Israel, as tuition is cheap.

I think you have the right to choose. Honestly, in Israel there’s not food stamps and government programs as much. There’s rental assistance if you are low income, and free or subsidised college, but that’s it.

And if these programs exist, and I apply, why shouldn’t I take? I don’t understand. Like I said, my DH has a job and he pays taxes. I still have to pay tax on my home, and tax whenever I buy anything. I do everything legally and within my right. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that.

Not working just means that I don’t make a ton of money that goes right back to taxes, and childcare costs.


But here in America you have tuition.
And even schools that give out tuition breaks easily, it just means that everyone else will be asked to pay more.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:58 am
amother [ Cognac ] wrote:
But here in America you have tuition.
And even schools that give out tuition breaks easily, it just means that everyone else will be asked to pay more.

I think that in many communities it is expected that the community will subsidize tuition somewhat to allow a woman to be home with her children. SAHM's, or at least mostly SAHM's, are a value in those communities and no-one is complaining.

I think that if a family is paying standard (not inflated) tuition, the mother has the right to make the choice to live more simply - if that is what it would take - in order to stay home.
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amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:01 am
amother [ Holly ] wrote:
That’s exactly the message I’m getting. Also, that if you work it’s your choice, you can choose to live simply and be on all govt programs so why kill yourself

Being on government programs is not as much fun as you think (if you do it correctly). And it limits you for the future - for example, those on Medicaid can almost never get a raise or more income as it would lose that coverage, and there's nothing around to replace it (not sure which thread it is that amother was complaining about Obamacare, but it's true, Medicaid is worth tons of $$$$).
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amother




Offwhite
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:02 am
amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:
Everything has strings attached and at the end of the day the self sufficient people are the best off as they are not relying on other people or programs.

I have sister in law who is like you describe, she tutors one hour a day and her husband learns. They have 8 kids and nice house and nice cars. They are on every program that exist and her wealthy parents help them out a lot enabling them to live the way they do. Dh and I both work full time are not on programs or get any family help and yes it does seem like they are living better than we are.

A few years back we were planning a vacation together and I mentioned a location and she said oh we cant go there, my parents wont let me take the van so far. It was such an eye opener for me. Her parents obviously paid for her van and she still had to answer to them. I would way rather my not as nice car and not have to answer to anyone how I use it and the same goes for my whole life. Everything I have is from my hard work and I answer to no one!

There really is no such thing as a free lunch!!!



Just because you know of a case where there are strings attached doesn't mean there's no free lunch. There not only free lunch, there's an elaborate shorgesbord for many. Some have wealthy parents/in-laws that offer big support and don't judge or ask questions. My parents aren't rich but they're the type that if they were, they'd be dumping money on me with no questions asked.
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Fab4




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:18 am
Maybe they get parental help. Maybe they made an investment from some yerusha that they got. Who knows!
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:59 pm
amother [ Cognac ] wrote:
But here in America you have tuition.
And even schools that give out tuition breaks easily, it just means that everyone else will be asked to pay more.


The tuition situation is insane. I come from OOT and it’s not a thing, as the government subsidises tuition.

I don’t understand why they inflate costs because people can’t pay in full. Everyone should have to pay the same amount.
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amother




Moccasin
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:07 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
The tuition situation is insane. I come from OOT and it’s not a thing, as the government subsidises tuition.

I don’t understand why they inflate costs because people can’t pay in full. Everyone should have to pay the same amount.

Honestly it doesn't work that way.
Schools are always fundraising and they also get grants. People are in denial thinking that if they cant pay full tuition it's going on someone else.
I have a family member on the board of a big school. And he said flat out - they ask for a high price because they can get it from people. Alot of parents are paying for their grandchildrens schools. So why not get it. If you can't pay you are welcome to contact them and tell them your situation and they act accordingly.
I am not paying for someone's tuition they can't afford.
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amother




Mintgreen
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 2:10 pm
amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:
It's as old as Obama Care. It is terrible. Until 2 years ago I was always able to find an okay plan although I had to keep switching every year as one insurance company after another dropped their individual market plans. But as of last year there are no option left. I am stuck with MARKETPLACE EmblemHealth or Fidelis which is worse than Medicaid. No decent specialists to go to. I just spoke to someone at ECHO who told me Obama knew this would happen but did not care. I live in NY. I consulted with RCCS they told me it's better in some other states like NJ, Baltimore and Florida. But I can't move there. I am supposed to have surgery and I can't find a decent doctor to do it. No one wants to accept plans purchased on the Exchange. And I pay $$$$ for it with an obscene deductible.
thats terrible. I hope Hashem blesses you with good health and you never need to see a doctor and that you're able to get better insurance.
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amother




Holly
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 2:15 pm
amother [ Offwhite ] wrote:
Just because you know of a case where there are strings attached doesn't mean there's no free lunch. There not only free lunch, there's an elaborate shorgesbord for many. Some have wealthy parents/in-laws that offer big support and don't judge or ask questions. My parents aren't rich but they're the type that if they were, they'd be dumping money on me with no questions asked.


I don’t think anyone resents (or has a right) to resent people who’s parents are plain rich. Good for them. We may be jealous but they aren’t doing anything.

I resent the political environment- as the poster wrote above, all these programs are used as sugar to coat the crazy govt spending. So it’s driving our country bankrupt and buying ppl into voting for a socialist economy.

(FTR I think socialism like israel or some places in Europe is amazing, it’s just not workable on a large scale in the US. Inflated healthcare etc. and the way it’s don’t now is just infuriating for the middle class)
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amother




Burlywood
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 2:27 pm
amother [ Moccasin ] wrote:
Honestly it doesn't work that way.
Schools are always fundraising and they also get grants. People are in denial thinking that if they cant pay full tuition it's going on someone else.
I have a family member on the board of a big school. And he said flat out - they ask for a high price because they can get it from people. Alot of parents are paying for their grandchildrens schools. So why not get it. If you can't pay you are welcome to contact them and tell them your situation and they act accordingly.
I am not paying for someone's tuition they can't afford.


In that case there is no shame asking for tution off.
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