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This is why you need to work
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:24 pm
Maybe when you start working you are making not very much and most of your income goes to childcare or taxes but you are putting in the years so that your income grows and your expertise grows.
Or you can be like me. Zero skills. Zero degree. SAHM for years and now that my youngest is in school full time I have no career or work options to fall back on.
Even if I had no degree but was working in a field for the past 20 years I would be worth something.
If I had the chance to reverse it this is one thing I would change. I would work.
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amother




SandyBrown
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:35 pm
Or you could be like me. I work in a preschool I work there because I need to have the same schedule as my kids, I earn enough to pay tuition. In a few years my youngest will be old enough that I don't need to work on his schedule I will have no degree or skills to change jobs. So it goes both ways.

If you are looking for a job the preschool near you might have openings.
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:39 pm
Nah this is why you need a degree. I have a degree, worked for a little while, and am taking a nice long break. When I'm ready to restart I won't be starting from nothing.
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amother




PlumPink
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:42 pm
I'm happy to be a SAHM and when the time comes that I'm bored of being home, I'd be happy to take a job as a saleswoman in a store. I had a long break between 2 of my kids and I was home for 6 years after my youngest started school. I was never bored and never felt the need to get a job.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:43 pm
Or you can have no marketable skills and no degrees and get a job in the local preschool when your youngest starts at school. Then you can prove yourself such a valuable member of staff that the preschool offers to help fund further education courses to allow you to take a bigger role, and end up with a much more significant and higher paying position.

This happened to my mother. Unfortunately it doesn't happen very often. There is always a chance.
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amother




Linen
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:44 pm
There will always be a correlation between the government goodie bag and people's willingness to work. If a person is a high income earner then of course work is the way to go. But if a person doesn't have skills and will end up in a $20 an hour job, the government is giving away too much to justify working.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:48 pm
Again, though, while everyone should be AWARE of the long-term implications of not being in the workplace, the decision is up to the individual, and no one should be attacked for their choice.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:49 pm
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.
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amother




Apricot
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:55 pm
amother [ Lightpink ] wrote:
Nah this is why you need a degree. I have a degree, worked for a little while, and am taking a nice long break. When I'm ready to restart I won't be starting from nothing.


Hate to break it to you, but a degree won't save you from a large gap in your work history. My 5 year stint as a sahm turned into 7 years because of the two years it took me to actually get hired somewhere. And yes, I have several advanced degrees. If I could go back in time, I would have at least kept working part time during those years rather than not at all.
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amother




Cantaloupe
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:56 pm
Zehava wrote:
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.


Well put!
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octopus




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:56 pm
Zehava wrote:
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.


I love this post.
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clowny




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 1:59 pm
Zehava wrote:
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.


Wish I can like this more than once.
Well said.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:03 pm
amother [ Linen ] wrote:
There will always be a correlation between the government goodie bag and people's willingness to work. If a person is a high income earner then of course work is the way to go. But if a person doesn't have skills and will end up in a $20 an hour job, the government is giving away too much to justify working.

The people who prefer the "goodie bag" should read the recent threads by people who want to buy homes but can't qualify for a mortgage because they also need to keep their medicaid and/or on foodstamps and dont want to give that up either. That goodie bag keeps you in that income bracket and it impacts many other areas of your life. It's an extremely shortsighted view. Not to mention that they are not meant to sustain you long term and using it for that is abuse of the system.
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amother




Latte
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:14 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Hate to break it to you, but a degree won't save you from a large gap in your work history. My 5 year stint as a sahm turned into 7 years because of the two years it took me to actually get hired somewhere. And yes, I have several advanced degrees. If I could go back in time, I would have at least kept working part time during those years rather than not at all.


This.
I got my degree before I got married, passed the last of my qualifying exams before my second was born, and haven’t worked in about 10 years. My degree is pretty much a piece of paper.
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Maybe when you start working you are making not very much and most of your income goes to childcare or taxes but you are putting in the years so that your income grows and your expertise grows.
Or you can be like me. Zero skills. Zero degree. SAHM for years and now that my youngest is in school full time I have no career or work options to fall back on.
Even if I had no degree but was working in a field for the past 20 years I would be worth something.
If I had the chance to reverse it this is one thing I would change. I would work.


When my sister had her first child, her entire take-home pay went to the sitter. People said it didn't pay for her to work if that was the case. At the time, there was a fiscal crisis and anyone who left didn't have a job to come back to--the position was eliminated. My sister said she works so she will have a job when her youngest child starts school. And so it was. It was hard, but it would have been a whole lot harder to have to start looking for a job after being out of the workforce for eight years or so.

When I had my first child, most of my take-home also went to the sitter. I was working for the health insurance, my employer paying for a large chunk of the premium and the remainder coming off my paycheck. Also for the future pension. (My dh had neither health insurance nor a pension plan. My employer-sponsored health insurance saved us.) That, and to have a job when my youngest started school.

That's one reason to work. Others are the satisfaction of using your education, the security of knowing you can support yourself, the self-respect and the social respect of being employed, the mental stimulation of having other adults to talk to about topics unrelated to formula and diapers, the freedom of spending money that you earned and not being entirely dependent on your dh's good will.

A friend of mine says "I'm so happy to be retired rather than unemployed." IOW, even though she doesn't earn a paycheck any more, she has the satisfaction and social status of having been employed for a long time.
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:19 pm
Zehava wrote:
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.


Well said. You invested all those years in your children instead of in your career. That investment in your children will pay dividends for many generations iyH.

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

Signed,
A full time working mom with several young children
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amother




Calendula
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Maybe when you start working you are making not very much and most of your income goes to childcare or taxes but you are putting in the years so that your income grows and your expertise grows.
Or you can be like me. Zero skills. Zero degree. SAHM for years and now that my youngest is in school full time I have no career or work options to fall back on.
Even if I had no degree but was working in a field for the past 20 years I would be worth something.
If I had the chance to reverse it this is one thing I would change. I would work.

OP, I was you five years ago. I started working and now have a career. Believe me, it's do-able and so what if you start off making a little less. Isn't the years that you spent with your children worth it? That's an investment that's worth way more than money.

I think we need a support group for us middle aged folks transitioning to the workforce Wink .
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amother




Stone
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:24 pm
Zehava wrote:
You spent 20 years on your kids who only have you as their mom, as opposed to on a career where you’re easily replaceable. For 20 years instead of running yourself ragged and juggling multiple balls you instead devoted yourself fully to your family. I can’t think of a better way to have spent those years.
Now, if you’re feeling unfulfilled, you can start looking into your options.
But to work for 20 years only because then you’ll have more credentials 20 years down the line? That just seems silly. Besides which, there are no guarantees. People have worked hard for years and then been laid off and left with nothing. But your kids will forever be better off for the time you invested in them.


Thank you zehava
You have no idea how much I needed to hear those words today.
For some reason I keep forgetting that I am doing the right thing that works for me
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amother




Lightpink
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:28 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Hate to break it to you, but a degree won't save you from a large gap in your work history. My 5 year stint as a sahm turned into 7 years because of the two years it took me to actually get hired somewhere. And yes, I have several advanced degrees. If I could go back in time, I would have at least kept working part time during those years rather than not at all.


You're right. I should have said this is why you need a degree in a pretty stable field. My aunt has a degree in Special Ed, hasn't worked in a while, and now is working again.

Don't try to get a tech job or a tax accounting job with a 10 year gap.
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amother




Freesia
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 2:28 pm
I remember my mother, who was years ahead of her time, saying that a woman should always work at least part time and have money of her own. Not only do things happen to women like widowhood and divorce but things happen to men like unemployment and business reverses. A woman who brings in income can mean the difference between a family's drowning and staying afloat in such times.

Of course if you're independently wealthy and can live off your trust fund, you may think you can afford to ignore this. But trust funds can be wiped out, too.
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