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What you wish you knew at an earlier stage
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imanotmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:31 pm
What is something you wish that you knew at an earlier stage, related to finances? It can be for when you were a kid, newlywed, still in kollel, working (if you're retired, for example).
Please try to think of something that is teachable. For example, "I wish I had known as a teen how I would feel now..." isn't really practical. (you can teach a fact, but not a feeling.)
Background: I'm not asking for the purpose of publishing anything. I just find myself in a position where I can sometimes help people with unofficial financial advice. And there's always more that I can learn!
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amother




Mulberry
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:35 pm
That Hashem takes care of you no matter what and you will always have what you need
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amother




Clematis
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:38 pm
The whole idea of savings, 401 k plans and investments. I’m married over 20 yrs and still am clueless.
I grew up very poor and we lived on tzedaka funds so there was no modeling from my parents.
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amother




Cognac
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:38 pm
I wish I had chosen a more lucrative field, and not gone for the comfortable, flexible, 'mother's job'.

The little kid stage doesn't last forever. So now I have a flexible mother's job, but my kids are pretty much grown. I had the option to enter almost any field. I do feel like I should have chosen more wisely. I would have felt a lot more fulfilled at a different job, and the income would have made a huge difference in our family life.
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:38 pm
Invest all that you can. The sooner you invest the more it’ll grow by leaps and bounds by the time real expenses hit.
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amother




Lightcyan
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 5:48 pm
Separate bank accounts is not a bad idea...
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amother




Oxfordblue
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:02 pm
I wish I would've known how easy it is to make and lose $. Im very frugal and worked really hard, always saving, worrying etc. overnight, my husband made a few million dollars. I wish I would've gotten more help at difficult times/worked less and not cheshboned everything.
To be clear- I dont mean being wasteful- I mean not taking $ and saving sooo seriously. We need to do our part but it can come and go sooo quickly.
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amother




DarkGreen
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:02 pm
amother [ Clematis ] wrote:
The whole idea of savings, 401 k plans and investments. I’m married over 20 yrs and still am clueless.
I grew up very poor and we lived on tzedaka funds so there was no modeling from my parents.


me too Can't Believe It
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amother




DarkGreen
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:03 pm
amother [ Oxfordblue ] wrote:
I wish I would've known how easy it is to make and lose $. Im very frugal and worked really hard, always saving, worrying etc. overnight, my husband made a few million dollars. I wish I would've gotten more help at difficult times/worked less and not cheshboned everything.
To be clear- I dont mean being wasteful- I mean not taking $ and saving sooo seriously. We need to do our part but it can come and go sooo quickly.


how? he won a lottery?
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Mommy1:)




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:06 pm
to research salaries and ask for a higher amount at the beginning, never to say yes to the amount that's offered without negotiating first for more!
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amother




NeonPurple
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:08 pm
Mommy1:) wrote:
to research salaries and ask for a higher amount at the beginning, never to say yes to the amount that's offered without negotiating first for more!


This!!!
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amother




Alyssum
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:31 pm
I wish I knew to give a fifth to tzedakah. It would have been much easier if we started right away, and it made a major difference in our financial stability.
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imanotmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:33 pm
amother [ Lightcyan ] wrote:
Separate bank accounts is not a bad idea...


Do you mean for each spouse? For different expenses/purposes?
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imanotmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 6:35 pm
So a lot of people would want to tell their younger selves to invest more.
Investments grow (generally. If you do it right) and it becomes worth more to you later.
Good advice.
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amother




Junglegreen
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 7:03 pm
imanotmommy wrote:
Do you mean for each spouse? For different expenses/purposes?

it is a good idea to have youre own money if you need a lawyer for a divorce
my husband hides all the money in his ouwn accounts and has a po box for his mail I am a house wife and he gives me like twenty dollars after I beg him for it its horrible I am sixy if he dies I have no idea where the money is
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amother




Feverfew
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 7:03 pm
-I wish I had a small secret savings. Just like $25 a week from every paycheck.
- Before investing in a business, open a separate account of savings that you ABSOLUTELY WON'T TOUCH. Otherwise, more and more of your original savings can end up being invested in a business, which can be very unstable in the beginning.
- if you do open a business, take out a salary every week, no matter how small.
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imanotmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:59 am
Regarding some of the other comments-
Obviously Hashem gives you what you need, and it's good to be reminded. But practically speaking, you need to do hishtadlus AND may need to reevaluate your definition of a need.
Giving more than maaser (or even giving maaser, for some) can be a complicated topic that I wouldn't want to advise anyone on. For example, at one point we wanted to give more than we were and our rav told us NOT to.
For negotiating salaries, this doesn't always apply. In my field, it's understood that for your first job you take the first offer. Once you have experience then you switch jobs and negotiate. But doing research about the topic is definitely smart.

Anyone else?
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:47 am
When we bought our house, we thought we had to put down every last dollar available into the down payment to reduce our monthly payments.

The house needed some work but we figured we'd make do. Ten years later, there are some major issues that we need to take care of, and the only way to pay for it is to refinance. So...we are increasing our mortgage and are therefore in exactly the same place we would have been had we taken out some extra cash when we first purchased.

Except that had we done the work before moving in, we could have enjoyed living in a house without all these problems for the past ten years.

Also, with interest rates so low, an extra $50,000 in mortgage might only come out to an additional $30 per month (don't quote me on the exact number but it's not really a make it or break it type of sum).
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amother




Antiquewhite
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 12:23 pm
amother [ Clematis ] wrote:
The whole idea of savings, 401 k plans and investments. I’m married over 20 yrs and still am clueless.
I grew up very poor and we lived on tzedaka funds so there was no modeling from my parents.

This hands down
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:43 pm
Not what I knew- more like I wish I did-

I wish I went to college before I had kids. No patience for it now Sad
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