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If your dh is rough with the kids

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:33 pm
How did you get him to be more kind?
What did you say/ do to stop him?
How can I protect my kids?
They hate him
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:35 pm
Rough like playfully?

Or rough like abusive?
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amother




Chicory
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:35 pm
We try to read Sara Chana radcliffe’s emails together. I send him articles. I talk to him about it.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:37 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
Rough like playfully?

Or rough like abusive?

Like abusive I guess
Of course he denies it and shifts blame and has excuses
But he’ll do things that hurt them
And shout
And generally act tense and short- circuited
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:38 pm
Explain rough and why you feel like you need to protect the kids.
Whenever I think that DH is too strict with the kids, I never say anything in front of the kids, I wait till they're in bed and we talk about it in a non confrontational way.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:40 pm
amother [ Chicory ] wrote:
We try to read Sara Chana radcliffe’s emails together. I send him articles. I talk to him about it.

That’s a good idea. She’s great! I often do send them to him and he agrees with what’s written but I think he doesn’t see how to apply it...
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:42 pm
My husband has a hard time dealing with one of my children. The child is needy, stubborn and gets emotional (sad/angry) very quickly. My husband get very frustrated and impatient with him which often leads to yelling (from both of them.)
However, they also have positive interactions. My husband reads to him, plays basketball with him, and gives him hugs and “chills.”

Can your husband try to “up” the positive interactions between himself and the kids? If it’s hard for him to do it naturally, aim for a 10 minute interaction that is 1 on 1 attention.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:46 pm
amother [ Butterscotch ] wrote:


Can your husband try to “up” the positive interactions between himself and the kids? If it’s hard for him to do it naturally, aim for a 10 minute interaction that is 1 on 1 attention.


That’s great idea! I’ll suggest this. Thank you
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 9:49 pm
How can I get added to this email list?
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amother




Tiffanyblue
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:05 pm
Speak to a chinuch professional and your husband's rav.
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amother




Dimgray
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:08 pm
Model model model
Praise every tiny positive behavior.
Never put him down in front of the kids
Your Kids only need one attachment figure. Be that person even if he is not
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amother




Eggplant
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 10:41 pm
My DH is a rough person by nature. He works really hard on himself, and he's doing a great job, but he's still rough.(nowhere near abusive bh) I empathize with the kids, give them whatever I could, but ultimately, it's their nisayon to deal with.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 11:15 pm
When my kids come to me and say that he squeezed their hand, how do I respond to that?
I want to protect them
I don’t want him to do it
I want to comfort them and tell them that it’s wrong and no one should do that to them
And make sure he stops
But I’m afraid to denigrate him to them
And he gets so upset
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amother




Tiffanyblue
 

Post Wed, Oct 13 2021, 11:49 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
When my kids come to me and say that he squeezed their hand, how do I respond to that?
I want to protect them
I don’t want him to do it
I want to comfort them and tell them that it’s wrong and no one should do that to them
And make sure he stops
But I’m afraid to denigrate him to them
And he gets so upset


Thanks for sharing that with me I will speak to your father about you. But definitely ask a chinuch expert or therapist.
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