Should I do something?

amother

Smokey

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:41 am

Very normal for some kids to want only Tatty at this age.
Regression can be a very normal phase for a child his age adjusting to new baby.
Have seen many kids act more babyish for a while.
Totally fine.
So good you are reaching out for wider frame of reference.
Please don't put so much pressure on yourself!
If you can put baby down, in carrier, crib, etc., when your son is around it helps. If not, it will still be okay.
Many people give kids this age toys/treats and say it is from the baby. It is because now you are a new brother etc.
Things improve over time.
Give yourself and the whole family time to adjust to these new changes: baby, playgroup.
Talk to the morah and work together to make things easier for your son. Lots of TLC. Any good morah knows the kids need this with new baby and also when starting new playgroup.
hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Cantaloupe

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:53 am

A few things

1) at 2 years old its rare to play WITH other kids, it tends to be more parallel Play- each kid plays on his own near the others. Even more so for a kid who has never been in a social setting before. Totally normal.

2) over stimulated toddlers try to self soothe. It may just be too long a day for him.

3) when my second was born my toddler went through 3 weeks of "Abba only". When she decided she wanted me again I regretted not enjoying it more when I could focus on baby alone.

4) combining 2 transitions of starting playgroup and new sister together is rough, and he may feel like he's being kicked out. Next time iyH start the toddler in playgroup a few weeks BEFORE baby.

amother

Smokey

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:57 am

cantaloupe makes good points

still everyone is doing best as possible and it can work out well no matter when you start playgroup

some kids even without new baby and with experienced parents can still take a longer time to adjust

it will be okay so long as the group and morah are good and great for you for checking and getting the info on the morah/playgroup

good you are aware of whats going on with your son and addressing it all sounds very normal and he and you will be fine!

amother

Lightpink

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:02 am

OP, your son is going through too many changes at once, it's probably too hard for him to handle. The playgroup day is also too long for him, I'd pick him up at 3 if possible, especially in the beginning. My 2 year old started playgroup this year. 20 kids, very structured. He came home so so overstimulated that he literally went crazy. I couldn't calm him down. I couldn't get him to sleep. When he finally fell asleep, he kept waking up. I pulled him out of that group, it's too much for him, he couldn't handle it. He's starting next week ih a small group, babysitter style. Not so much structure and more relaxing. Some kids need that.
Good luck, going from 1 to 2 is very hard, for mom and toddler.

dena613

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:33 am

Where I live, 2yo playgroups (unlike daycare centers) run from 9-2.
Can you take your son home earlier?

Also, re the crying when he gets there, can you take him in the morning and sit there with him him for15,20 minutes? Show him the toys, with him there?
Did you or your dh go inside with him the first day and show him around and introduce him to the morahs?
So you know the morahs names?

I really think it sounds like you have very little idea of what goes on there. Was there no orientation event?

Meet morahs, see place, hear about schedule...

PeanutMama

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:58 am

Hi all. The orientation was the very day my daughter was born. My husband got the papers the same day he told me that our 2 year old was gonna start playgroup. It was like pages of stuff. Like what the teachers do with the kids (teach parsha, brachos, colors, shapes, middos, patience, how to take turns and share etc) how much to pay per month depending what time you pick up the kid, how many $ extra if you wanted extended morning or afternoon hours, and transportation, what to bring along (diapers change of clothing wipes snacks bottles or sippy cup…) and help with toilet training.

My husband found out about this playgroup from his chavrusa. They were helping us find a playgroup since we didn’t know where to look or how to do it and I was recovering from the birth etc

Up till he started my son was really fond of the baby. First thing he’ll do after waking up is run to the baby’s crib and say something that sounds like “it’s a little baby!” And he would bring a diaper if I was about to change her or run to get the bottle if she started to cry. He’ll shake his head furiously if I give the baby the pacifier— he wanted to give it to her himself. I’d always praise him saying stuff like “wow mommy’s so proud of you you’re the best big brother ever!!” And I’ll give him a big bear hug. He used to love my bear hugs now he wriggles out.

I just spoke to the director. I said how I wanna make things easier for him, and asked how he was doing. So she said that my son plays and behaves very well and he loves the story time and activities, but he trouble following instructions with the other children— like he’s lost. It makes sense cuz he was never in a group type setting before. We made a plan what to do. I’ll pick him up earlier the first couple weeks and the teachers will give him extra attention and make sure he’s not banging his head.

DREAMING

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 3:02 pm

amother [ Cantaloupe ] wrote:

This

amother

Cadetblue

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 3:13 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

The day officially ends at 3:00 pm and when I pick him up at 4 there’s usually a couple of kids (I don’t know exact numbers, but for sure counted more than 6 other heads) and one morah watching the kids and a cleaning lady cleaning up.

During the day there’s 3 teachers to 22 kids

Maybe pick him up at 3 if possible.
Children get upset when they see other mother's picking up their friends and they need to wait a long time for their parents.
I had it with my son in the past.
The teachers starts wrapping up the day and the kids feel it.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 4:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:14 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

Yes. My daughter adjusted and now stays extended hours and loves the quieter time but in the beginning I picked her up at 3 (lost an hour of work)

PeanutMama

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 8:49 pm

Update BH he’s acting much more like himself this week. Monday my husband told me he ran eagerly to the morah and immediately started playing. Today the morah told me my son is starting to speak more words and understand. I’m truly happy to hear that he’s speaking more.

At home he’s been quite the snuggle bear. All last week he would wake up at 1-2am and cry till we go to him. And it was a struggle to put him to sleep cuz then he only wanted tatty and he wanted to play around. His normal bedtime is 8:30 and he used to sleep through the night.
Now he’s back to sleeping through the night. I’ve also given him lots of attention hugs and kisses since then and I’m sure that helped him warm up to me because now he’s laughing and giggling with me (and before he would stare at me all serious) and best of all he’s playing with me! So I’ve been so happy and relieved over what a few days of full blown attention can do.

But I’m expecting this one step forward 2 steps back thing. 😬

amother

Cyclamen

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 8:52 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

That’s a long day for a kid who’s never been to daycare before.

PeanutMama

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 8:54 pm

The picking him up earlier is complicated 🙈 my daughter eats right at 3, and the last few days I’ve been feeding her as close to 3 as possible and we’re Bh out the house at least 3:30 and there at the playgroup 10 min later.

I fall asleep for the night around 7 in the am and wake up for the day at 2…🙈 but I don’t change right away to going out clothes 😬 ugh this is so embarrassing but hopefully my little ones schedule will normalize a bit soon

amother

Quince

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 9:01 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

So happy to hear that things are improving BH!!

You are doing well. I know ppl without newborns that fall asleep in clothes!! Hang in there!! Your bound to be a motherhood pro one day iyh!

amother

Cyclamen

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 9:02 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

Straight? Your baby sleeps all that time too?

octopus

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 9:08 pm

I'm glad your child is settling down. In my own experience I've found that a smaller ratio of kids even if it means less teachers was better for the child. A day until 3 is very long for a two year old. Kal vchomer until 4! It took me many kids and many playgroups to discover places that I loved sending! This is all part of the parenting learning curve.

amother

Lightpink

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 9:13 pm

octopus wrote:

This. My toddler started in September in a large group. He couldn't handle it. He came home so overstimulated, we couldn't calm him down. He couldn't settle down to sleep and he kept on waking up at night. I gave it time but it wasn't for him. We pulled him out and I bh found a small kiddie group style playgroup. He's a different child. He comes home so calm. Bh.