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Will my kid be weird if I homeschool
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:08 am
Hes in preschool and I just want to give him a good education and raise my own child. But I'm worried that he'll be a weirdo (we live in town) and also the boys system is just a system...
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:13 am
Even if your kid is not weird, he will probably be labeled so, as will you.

There are some frum homeschoolers though.

But a boy needs a Rebbe, starting from a young age.

And hard to make friends if not in school.
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:14 am
There are some families that do it really well. There are others who don't.

Do you already have friends for your son? Are you committed to the homeschool ideology, or just want the control? What are your long-term plans for education? (The successful family I know sent their kids to high school/yeshiva or when the child wanted to go.)
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:14 am
I think you should concentrate on "after-schooling" - supplementing what DS learns in school.

Offering enrichment.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:32 am
#BestBubby wrote:
I think you should concentrate on "after-schooling" - supplementing what DS learns in school.

Offering enrichment.


I already do this. I just think of how broken and stupid the educational system is especially for boys and it makes me sad. Also his day is just too long. I literally have him for 20 minutes in the morning and 3 hours before bedtime. School and the bus is raising him not me... (even if I cut out the bus that saves me maybe 30 minutes)
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:34 am
amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:
There are some families that do it really well. There are others who don't.

Do you already have friends for your son? Are you committed to the homeschool ideology, or just want the control? What are your long-term plans for education? (The successful family I know sent their kids to high school/yeshiva or when the child wanted to go.)


Well my husband probably wouldn't let lol. I would do it very well. I already do it halfway. He actually loves school but he's learning Aleph bais for the second year in a row...I taught him that at age 2.... he was already reading nekudos with me last year. Ugh wish I had a better option for him than the huge local factory school.
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amother




Outerspace
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:36 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I already do this. I just think of how broken and stupid the educational system is especially for boys and it makes me sad. Also his day is just too long. I literally have him for 20 minutes in the morning and 3 hours before bedtime. School and the bus is raising him not me... (even if I cut out the bus that saves me maybe 30 minutes)


I feel you have nothing to lose right now being that he’s in preschool and you’re ready to teach him everything age appropriate. I truly admire you. You sound like a wonderful dedicated mom! I say go for it and reevaluate every year again. It might be very ideal now but he might want school once he hits middle elementary or sooner! You don’t must make long term plans now. One year at a time!
Hatzlacha!
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causemommysaid




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:39 am
Yeah probably.
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 1:47 am
Kids need friends. They need to learn how to interact in social situations. And academically, at some point (depending on your education) he's going to need more than you can offer. Few parents can successfully teach all subjects.

If you don't like the school system where you live, I'd look into moving before homeschooling.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 2:19 am
amother [ Honeysuckle ] wrote:
Kids need friends. They need to learn how to interact in social situations. And academically, at some point (depending on your education) he's going to need more than you can offer. Few parents can successfully teach all subjects.

If you don't like the school system where you live, I'd look into moving before homeschooling.


I love how people say this yet in school they have to sit and listen to the teacher and get 10 minutes of recess.
He plays with his cousins and siblings and I teach him turn taking, emotional regulation, conflict resolution and other such daily living social skills that teachers don't teach.
I agree that he'll age out on me, as soon as gemara or mishna, I don't think I'd homeschool long term anyways maybe just the first few years so he has a solid foundation...idk... I'd love to move anywhere else honestly but....
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 3:00 am
[quote="#BestBubby"]Even if your kid is not weird, he will probably be labeled so, as will you.

This!!

Sad but true.
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amother




Pistachio
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 3:15 am
You mentioned your son was preschool age . Is he in a yeshiva building?
I personally don't send my kids to an actual school until pre1a orn1st grade , depending on the child. I do NOT homeschool, but I find smaller programs with a morah in a house and it works really well. They usually don't have transportation. I live in flatbush so it's very in town. I had one child that went to a school building on a bus starting at age 3, but he left at 9 am and was home already at 2:30 so it wasn't a long day for him. Once a child reaches first grade they need to be in a regular school system. Find a school that works best for you !!
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amother




Navyblue
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:38 am
Another option is to homeschool half a day. Send your son for the morning and homeschool for general studies. Our school tried for a couple of years to encourage us to do this for our out of the box son. I know some people that successfully did that though. Your child won't miss out on socialization and will receive a better secular education.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:40 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Well my husband probably wouldn't let lol. I would do it very well. I already do it halfway. He actually loves school but he's learning Aleph bais for the second year in a row...I taught him that at age 2.... he was already reading nekudos with me last year. Ugh wish I had a better option for him than the huge local factory school.

With all due respect, he is learning the same thing two years in a row because you started him on your own way too early. Just because he may have been capable at 2 does not mean it was age appropriate.

It sounds like you should research other school options near you. Avoid busses to shorten his time away. Do what you can to make school a success if your husband is not into homeschooling.
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amother




Fern
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:48 am
often morahs have dealt successfully with this
talk to your son's morahs/rebbeim about his level of knowledge and see what they can do so he is not bored
tho a balancing act can be achieved to address a child who is ahead of class
I would usually not advise homeschooling unless both parents are on board and there is a more egregious reason or compelling situation
school can offer a lot does not have to be perfect
hatzlocha
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:51 am
The system is a huge factor.

Short of moving OOT, try to figure out your own ways to enrich and encourage. The costs of not getting him in the pipeline may be higher than the benefits of giving him more academic flexibility.
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I love how people say this yet in school they have to sit and listen to the teacher and get 10 minutes of recess.
He plays with his cousins and siblings and I teach him turn taking, emotional regulation, conflict resolution and other such daily living social skills that teachers don't teach.
I agree that he'll age out on me, as soon as gemara or mishna, I don't think I'd homeschool long term anyways maybe just the first few years so he has a solid foundation...idk... I'd love to move anywhere else honestly but....


There are very few schools that only offer ten minutes of recess. Were you really planning to send to a place like that or are you exaggerating?

Kids spend a lot of time getting in and out of school, eating lunch, doing schoolwork in groups, listening to other kids talking in class, meeting children who come from different kinds of homes. Navigating a game at recess without adults intervening is an important life skill. Socializing with siblings and cousins is nice, but it's not the same at all.

Also, if he's going to age out of homeschooling, how to you plan to integrate him into a classroom setting when it's time? Many homeschoolers find the transition difficult.

What solid foundation do you think you can give him that school cannot? And do you think you can supplement, rather than replace?

I know adults who were homeschooled as kids. You can pick them out in a crowd, and not always for the best reasons
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amother




Cyan
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:33 am
Op, I totally agree with your and understand where you're coming from. Even though I live in Baltimore, and there are smaller schools here, they are still catering to classes of 20-25 kids. It doesn't compare to the pleasure and quality of learning one-on-one.
I think every kid is different, and if you think this is what would help your son thrive, go for it!
It's true you could take it year by year, but in some schools, they fill up quickly and the older your son is the harder it will be to get into a good school, were to to see decide to send to school. So the earlier you try this, the better.

That being said, you have many options. In Baltimore, there are people who homeschool their kids. Some people make homeschooling groups. Some people do the teaching themselves, and some hire a teacher to do it. There is even a boys school that started out as a home school group, and grew into an incredible little school that caters to skill level - there are no grades.
Like someone said here, you can send to half day of school, and teach him at home the other half.

There are so many resources out there (I don't know them, since I've never home schooled, but I've thought about it. I think there are frum Facebook groups, and people to talk to who have done it.) There is no reason to assign your child to a system that is not made for him if he can get everything he needs and better at home.

Hatzlacha with your decision!!
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amother




Orange
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 7:52 am
I think you should go for it. I feel very similarly to you. I watched a great video (and read many other sources) that speak about how kids need to learn skills from mature adults. Being around other immature people doesn't teach them the appropriate skills. If they're around other people, including adults, kids, etc- they'll be ok. Adding in bullying, lack of personal teaching methods, lack of consent, and other issues with the school system- at this point, I am definitely planning on homeschooling my kids.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:43 am
I knew a couple former homeschooled boys when I was in high school. At first, yes, they seemed somewhat weird. Then they adjusted. Homeschooled kids often get more experience in mixed age settings and are more comfortable talking to adults than their peers are. They grow up fine. Being a child who fits in perfectly with schoolchildren? Hardly a life skill.
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