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Do you feed your childrens’ friends supper
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:42 pm
When your elementary aged children have a friend over after school, do you offer supper? I’m talking about a friend that will need to be picked up- not a neighbor that came over unofficially.
Please include what time your children eat supper and how late the friends usually stay.

As an extra credit, you can vote if I should have written
Childrens’ friends
Children’s friends
My brain feels like mashed potatoes.
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:43 pm
I call the mom to ask her if I may give dinner to the child. My kids eat at about 5:30 and when friends come they usually stay till 6-6:30.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:45 pm
My kid is still young enough that playdates involve their mothers too, but at around 5:30 I'll tell her "kid is having x for supper, do you want me to serve it to your daughter too?".
It's more commonly an issue with lunch on Sundays though.
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baked ziti




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:48 pm
I do give their friends supper. My daughter likes to eat right when she gets home, which is around 4:45. Quite early, but that's what works for her and the younger kids. My son comes home later (after 6) and eats then.
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amother




Dustypink
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:55 pm
whats the other option? feeding your children and having the friend sit at the table staring at ur kid?
seriously?
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imanotmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:56 pm
children's
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amother




Dimgray
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:57 pm
Yes I do and we eat on the late side around 6/6:30 kids tend to stay between 6-7 depending on the ages.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:57 pm
amother [ Dustypink ] wrote:
whats the other option? feeding your children and having the friend sit at the table staring at ur kid?
seriously?


Give healthy snacks (fresh vegetables/fruits) to both kids and feed your child supper when the friend leaves.
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amother




Dustypink
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 9:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Give healthy snacks (fresh vegetables/fruits) to both kids and feed your child supper when the friend leaves.


what are your concerns about giving supper to friends?
not enough to go around? money?
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:01 pm
imanotmommy wrote:
children's


I dont want to see
Even if you’re referring to more than one of your children? Oh right, singular would be child. 🙈
I’m going to stop talking before I embarrass myself more 😊
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Fabulous




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:02 pm
My kids tend not to have dinner so early and the younger ones usually don’t have late play dates so it’s not an issue. For my older one- if they are here at dinner time - around 630/7 for that age, I offer, same as they do for my son. It’s understood if they are coming from a time they didn’t make sense to eat dinner or straight from school through a time that they should be eating, they need to eat and I would rather and most mothers would rather food than just a bunch of snacks.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:08 pm
amother [ Dustypink ] wrote:
what are your concerns about giving supper to friends?
not enough to go around? money?


Not really concerned. There are just a bunch of factors involved. My kids eat at around 6. If my kid went to a friend from 4-6 I wouldn’t expect them to feed my child. My children don’t have any allergies bH. Do all mothers of kids with allergies let the friends mothers know before the child comes?
(I can answer that question myself-“no. They don’t.” And I try to remember to ask, but not always do I trust 5-6 yr olds.

Is it basic protocol to text mothers before serving any food on a play date to confirm that you can feed their child? I don’t always remember to ask about other people’s kids beforehand. I would imagine if my child was allergic that I would be on top of it.
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Fabulous




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Not really concerned. There are just a bunch of factors involved. My kids eat at around 6. If my kid went to a friend from 4-6 I wouldn’t expect them to feed my child. My children don’t have any allergies bH. Do all mothers of kids with allergies let the friends mothers know before the child comes?
(I can answer that question myself-“no. They don’t.” And I try to remember to ask, but not always do I trust 5-6 yr olds.

Is it basic protocol to text mothers before serving any food on a play date to confirm that you can feed their child? I don’t always remember to ask about other people’s kids beforehand. I would imagine if my child was allergic that I would be on top of it.


For kids under the age of 4 or 5 I ask before they come if there are any allergies. Older kids I would expect to tell me or at least the mother. It’s normal to give at least snacks and if there are allergies you should be aware
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amother




Butterscotch
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:11 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Give healthy snacks (fresh vegetables/fruits) to both kids and feed your child supper when the friend leaves.


This is what I do when a mom doesn't want her kid to eat dinner.
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amother




Skyblue
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:12 pm
If they are hungry feed them if you can. It's not the end of the world to give fruit vegetables snack and let them eat when they go home..just please dont starve them. I would faster give a cream cheese sandwich than nothing. Kids know if they are allergic quite young. Don't worry so much. You can reach out to mom and ask or tell her you are serving dinner now.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Watermelon
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:28 pm
My kids are all teens. If there's a friend in the house when I'm serving supper I offer the friend too. Never occurred to me to ask their parent first.
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amother




Snowdrop
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:34 pm
interesting because my daughter has a friend and when she's playing there (I host her kids plenty also), the mom will tell me something like, "oh I'm serving dinner at six, so if you can pick her up by then"
maybe I have a totally different style home...it would not bother me in the least if there was an extra kid at the table!! (not judging, just curios)
a different time, my two girls were by her when I had an appointment, when I picked them up she said, "oh, it worked out great, your girls played in the playroom while I gave Sara and Shira (her daughters) supper!
I was a little flabbergasted and I think my kids were feeling confused. I would never ever serve a hot supper and not offer, FIRST, the guest to see if they want supper. (she knows my girls don't have allergies)
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amother




Dimgray
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:37 pm
amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:
interesting because my daughter has a friend and when she's playing there (I host her kids plenty also), the mom will tell me something like, "oh I'm serving dinner at six, so if you can pick her up by then"
maybe I have a totally different style home...it would not bother me in the least if there was an extra kid at the table!! (not judging, just curios)
a different time, my two girls were by her when I had an appointment, when I picked them up she said, "oh, it worked out great, your girls played in the playroom while I gave Sara and Shira (her daughters) supper!
I was a little flabbergasted and I think my kids were feeling confused. I would never ever serve a hot supper and not offer, FIRST, the guest to see if they want supper. (she knows my girls don't have allergies)


I can see some people asking for kids to be picked up before because it's hard for them to serve so many kids or some other reason. But if your kids are there it's not ok to have them sit in the other room while they eat.
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amother




Pearl
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Not really concerned. There are just a bunch of factors involved. My kids eat at around 6. If my kid went to a friend from 4-6 I wouldn’t expect them to feed my child. My children don’t have any allergies bH. Do all mothers of kids with allergies let the friends mothers know before the child comes?
(I can answer that question myself-“no. They don’t.” And I try to remember to ask, but not always do I trust 5-6 yr olds.

Is it basic protocol to text mothers before serving any food on a play date to confirm that you can feed their child? I don’t always remember to ask about other people’s kids beforehand. I would imagine if my child was allergic that I would be on top of it.


My dc is allergic to almost everything, sometimes I am so rushed I actually for get to tell some people what her allergies are. My other dc is allergic but we rarely experience a reaction and if we do its just localized swelling. And I ALWAYS forget to mention her allergies, they are usually not an issue but it could be.

Since my kids have allergies I always ask other moms , but there are other considerations about what the mother prefers to feed their child (personal health choices , and kashrut) this is all assuming I don't know the mother well. If I do know the mother well I probably already asked or I just know their preferences for feeding their child
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amother




Pearl
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 10:46 pm
amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:
I can see some people asking for kids to be picked up before because it's hard for them to serve so many kids or some other reason. But if your kids are there it's not ok to have them sit in the other room while they eat.


Right, my kids might not eat well when friends are over. But I agree if one is serving supper, everyone should be offered.
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