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Do you feed your childrens’ friends supper
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mizle10




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:22 pm
I offer, but ask their mother first. I've had times when I've made one DCs favorite milchig pasta only for her to come home at 6:15 and casually say "Oh, I had a piece of shnitzel from Mrs. X". So now she's crying she really wants the pasta and I have nothing to give her for supper.
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naturalmom5




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:27 pm
assuming I knew about allergies , I always did

Why not
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amother




Dustypink
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:30 pm
amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:
I can see some people asking for kids to be picked up before because it's hard for them to serve so many kids or some other reason. But if your kids are there it's not ok to have them sit in the other room while they eat.



no sorry, putting food on a plate for a self sufficient child to eat is not a tircha
this person sounds crazy im sorry
really gross behaviour
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Oct 14 2021, 11:37 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
assuming I knew about allergies , I always did

Why not


I’ve had kids over, ages 3 and 6, I asked (cuz it’s routine by now) “6yr old, is 3 yr old allergic to nuts?” 6 yr old says “no. (2 second pause.) wait, ya. Peanuts I think, but 3yr old can have that snack bag. I know.”
I was like (in my head) “hold your horses. I want to check the packaging myself.”
I later found out that 3yr old is also allergic to eggs and dairy.

possibly the mother had mentioned it an earlier time when her kids came over. But I did not remember details. If your kid is allergic enough that they will need medical intervention, please confirm that other parents are aware. I would have felt so guilty if something would have happened under my care!
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 12:33 am
I text the parent and ask if their kid can eat whatever I'm serving.
If it's an older kid, I always invite them to join us.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 2:36 am
amother [ Snowdrop ] wrote:
interesting because my daughter has a friend and when she's playing there (I host her kids plenty also), the mom will tell me something like, "oh I'm serving dinner at six, so if you can pick her up by then"
maybe I have a totally different style home...it would not bother me in the least if there was an extra kid at the table!! (not judging, just curios)
a different time, my two girls were by her when I had an appointment, when I picked them up she said, "oh, it worked out great, your girls played in the playroom while I gave Sara and Shira (her daughters) supper!
I was a little flabbergasted and I think my kids were feeling confused. I would never ever serve a hot supper and not offer, FIRST, the guest to see if they want supper. (she knows my girls don't have allergies)


If I was watching other people's kids because their parents are at the doctor's or have some emergency or can't pick them up yet, I would just serve dinner because this is not a date just to play. It is kind of open-end. If it took you longer at the appointment, would you prefer you kid to starve?
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 6:18 am
My boys eat the second they walk through the door, between 4:30 and 5. If a friend is coming home from school with any one of them I serve them supper too.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 6:48 am
Never, unless it was a prearranged thing with a set start and pickup time.

The moms I know have their kids on schedules, know what foods might set them off if there's too much sugar, allergies, hechshers, etc. If kids are too excited from being at a friend's house for dinner time, by the time they get home they will be all wound up, fight you at bath time, and not want to fall asleep nicely. BTDT!

During a regular play date, cut up fruits and vegetables are always available.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 6:55 am
I did have one teenage girl show up on my doorstep around dinner time. She was "running away" after a huge fight with her mom. Don't you just LOVE hormones? Can't Believe It

I was the "cool mom", and the safe space for a lot of these struggling girls. I told her that she could stay here and cool off, and I would feed her dinner. Of course she ran out of the house without packing food or a change of clothes.

I told her she could hang out on only one condition. She had to call her mom and tell her where she was. She was reluctant, but she was also starting to calm down and see reason.

I fed her a big bowl of veggie lentil soup, and just sat with her. I didn't ask about the fight, I just let her be, and talked about whatever mundane things came up. She didn't want to talk about the fight, and it was not my place to mix in. (When I was her age, I used to be that runaway teen.)

After a few hours her mom showed up at the doorstep, still livid and totally embarrassed. I told mom that the girl seemed really sorry, and to try to sit and talk logically with her to find out way to get to the bottom of things.

Mom was a friend of mine, and she never mentioned the incident again, so I just let them move on. The girl ended up just fine, and didn't go OTD. I shudder to think who else might have picked her up in the middle of the night.
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amother




Sage
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 7:14 am
I'll usually give fruit, veggies and water when they come home.
If the child stays later than expected and I am serving dinner I offer the child dinner as well. Some will eat, some will ask their parent and some decide it's a good time to go home and call for a pickup.
It's all good to me. If I'm serving a real dinner, we always have extra food.
I work at home and sometimes I forget what time it is if I'm working while the kids play (my youngest is 11 so it's not an issue) and they go home kinda late when no one's eaten a real dinner. Oops.
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Fabulous




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 7:32 am
mizle10 wrote:
I offer, but ask their mother first. I've had times when I've made one DCs favorite milchig pasta only for her to come home at 6:15 and casually say "Oh, I had a piece of shnitzel from Mrs. X". So now she's crying she really wants the pasta and I have nothing to give her for supper.


That’s a really good point. I happen to not serve a lot of milchigs but my oldest called me from a friend this week to ask if we were because he wanted to eat something fleishig. It was definitely the mother’s prompt because he never would have thought to ask and we don’t usually have
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amother




Bone
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 7:35 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
I did have one teenage girl show up on my doorstep around dinner time. She was "running away" after a huge fight with her mom. Don't you just LOVE hormones? Can't Believe It

I was the "cool mom", and the safe space for a lot of these struggling girls. I told her that she could stay here and cool off, and I would feed her dinner. Of course she ran out of the house without packing food or a change of clothes.

I told her she could hang out on only one condition. She had to call her mom and tell her where she was. She was reluctant, but she was also starting to calm down and see reason.

I fed her a big bowl of veggie lentil soup, and just sat with her. I didn't ask about the fight, I just let her be, and talked about whatever mundane things came up. She didn't want to talk about the fight, and it was not my place to mix in. (When I was her age, I used to be that runaway teen.)

After a few hours her mom showed up at the doorstep, still livid and totally embarrassed. I told mom that the girl seemed really sorry, and to try to sit and talk logically with her to find out way to get to the bottom of things.

Mom was a friend of mine, and she never mentioned the incident again, so I just let them move on. The girl ended up just fine, and didn't go OTD. I shudder to think who else might have picked her up in the middle of the night.


Good for you for being the safe place! Every community needs one of those ...
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