Let’s talk about the Parsha

SuperWify

Fri, Oct 15 2021, 8:33 am

b.chadash wrote:

Great idea!
Also, if you want to learn these medrashim in an interesting way, you should get the set of The Medresh Says.

Alternatively, get an Artscroll chumash and go through Rashi. All of these medrashim are found in Rashi.

Hi. I was hoping you’d come here!

That’s a good idea. Reading Rashi alone is hard because to understand the detail you need to check with other mefarshim.

So what can you share with us on Lech Lecha?
A”A had a fascinating life before we actually “meet” him in the Torah.

b.chadash

Fri, Oct 15 2021, 9:39 am

Not sure if this is what you have in mind, but I heard this short idea many years ago...

According to the Rambam*, the first of Avraham's tests was Lech Lecha. He doesn't include the tests that came before, such as Nimrod throwing him into the Kivshan Ha'aish. Why not? If anything, being willing to be thrown into a fiery furnace is just as great a sacrifice - if not greater- as being willing to leave one's homeland, especially as there was a promise of great wealth, children and fame attached to it

The first time we see Hashem talking to Avraham is by Lech Lecha. He commands him to leave his home.

Previously, we see Avraham acting of his own volition. No one commanded him to do so.
When someone commands you to do something, we have a natural resistance to it. We prefer to volunteer to help someone rather than be told to do so.

This explains why when you have a "metzuva v'eino metzuva," the metzuva is greater. One would think that doing something voluntarily is a greater level. But one who chooses to do a good thing doesn't have the same yetzer hara as one who is commanded to do so.

So when Avraham was willing to give up his life for Hashem, that was very nice, but that was voluntary. It wasn't a real test. When Hashem commanded him to leave, that's when he became a metzuveh. And that is why it's the first of the trials counted.

(Aa an aside, this concept is always used to explain why women love to learn Torah, sometimes more than men. We don't have the same mitzva of learning. Men, who are commanded to learn yomam v'laila, have a much greater yetzer hara to waste their time. )

*according to the Pirkei d'rebbi Eliezer , the kivshan Ha'aish was included in the 10 tests.

b.chadash

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 2:47 pm

I just heard this shiur by Rabbi Glatstien on last week's parasha and he said one thing at the end that I wanted to share.

In the story of Eliezer finding a shidduch for Rivka, he is focused on only one thing- that it should be a girl who is a gomel chessed. He says that the girl who offers water for him and his camels will be the one.

It's difficult to understand how he could do that. What if the girl who offers water is unsuitable in other ways? What if she has three heads or has a foot growing out of her shoulder?

He gives a long answer, which I'm not getting into now, regarding a shidduch being two parts of one neshama.

But at the end he quotes a Chassam Sofer who asks, how does anyone know if they are married to the right one? Sometimes you are married to your spouse and it's like he is from another planet. You don't see eye to eye, and he is your complete opposite.

The Chassam Sofer says- how do you know? If the two people are complete opposites then you know it's the right one!

Take a look at the most perfect marriage in history- that of Avraham and Sara. They were very different. While Avraham was very into hachnasas orchim, Sara was less so. There are numerous examples where we see that Sara was more circumspect. And that's how it has to be- the spouse has to have the opposite nature to balance things out. If both spouses are generous, they would run out of money. If both spouses are too strict or too easy going, it would not work out.

Yitzchok was midas Hadin. We find no example in the Torah of him doing Hachnasas Orchim. Therefore, he needed someone with the opposite nature- Rivka - who was the quintessential baalas chessed.

So when someone finds that whatever they say, their spouse says the opposite, they should know it's a perfect match.

SuperWify

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:12 pm

b.chadash wrote:

Thank you!

I love this because it shows us that it’s ok not to excel in every single mitzvah. Even our Avos “preferred” or excelled at some mitzvas more then the others if we can say that.

b.chadash

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:44 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Thank you!

I love this because it shows us that it’s ok not to excel in every single mitzvah. Even our Avos “preferred” or excelled at some mitzvas more then the others if we can say that.

Very true!
You would think that Yitzchok would think he has to "follow in his father's footsteps", but he doesn't. Of course he follows him in the fundamentals- monotheism, serving one Hashem. But he charts his own path based on his own personality.

Similar to what I wrote above, I heard Rabbi YY give a talk on the subject of Shidduchim and he asked how could it be that Avraham would entrust his servant to the monumental task of findinga wife for Yitzchok? Isn't it something he should have done himself?

He answered that Avraham knew that he had a very different nature and personality than Yitzchok. Avraham was chessed, external. Yitzchak was gevurah, internal. Avraham was afraid that he would seek a spouse for his son based on his own personality. Avraham married Sara who was gevurah, because that is what he needed to complement him.

But Yitchok needed a Rivka, chessed, to complement his gevurah.

Avraham knew that Eliezer knew Yitzchok intimately and would be able to be objective and find the right type for Yitzchok without projecting his own personality into it. And he trusted him to look for the right type because he was free of bias.

His point was that sometimes parents look for a spouse for their child that is good for them (the parents), not necessarliy purely for what's good for their child. They would love to go to shul the morning after the vort and hear people say, "psssshhh what a shidduch!!" It feels good. But we need to step back from ourselves and look for a shidduch that is only good for our child.

Last edited by b.chadash on Mon, Nov 01 2021, 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

Lovable

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:54 pm

b.chadash wrote:

Very true!
You would think that Yitzchok would think he has to "follow in his father's footsteps", but he doesn't. Of course he follows him in the fundamentals- monotheism, serving one Hashem. But he charts his own path based on his own personality.

Similar to what I wrote above, I heard Rabbi YY give a talk on the subject of Shidduchim and he asked how, how could it be that Avraham would entrust his servant to the monumental task of findinga wife for Yitzchok? Isn't it something he should have done himself?

He answered that Avraham knew that he had a very different nature and personality than Yitzchok. Avraham was chessed, external. Yitzchak was gevurah, internal. Avraham was afraid that he would seek a spouse for his son based on his own personality. Avraham married Sara who was gevurah, because that is what he needed to complement him.

But Yitchok needed a Rivka, chessed, to complement his gevurah.

Avraham knew that Eliezer knew Yitzchok intimately and would be able to be objective and find the right type for Yitzchok without projecting his own personality into it. And he trusted him to look for the right type because he was free of bias.

His point was that sometimes parents look for a spouse for their Child that is good for them, not necessarliy purely for what's good for their child. They would love to go to shul the morning after the vort and hear people say, "psssshhh what a shidduch!!" It feels good. But we need to step back from ourselves and look for a shidduch that is only good for our child.

WOW
Just wow
Thanks for sharing, love this point
looking forward to interesting tidbits on this weeks parsha Wink

keym

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 10:25 pm

I heard an interview thought on Parshas Chayei Sara.
The passuk at the beginning said Velivkosa- with a small kaf. The baal Haturim says that the kaf is small because Avraham cried less than usual.
The obvious question is why?
The Gemara says shlosha lvchi, Shiva lhesped. The first 3 are for intense crying, the next 4 are for more moderate crying.
Avraham was told that Sara died by Akeidas Yitzchok and then had a 3 day journey home. By the time he reached home, the intensity of the grief was less- small kaf.

b.chadash

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 11:07 pm

STovah wrote:

I disagree on this point. I would start with Chumash/Rashi to learn the parsha. Especially if you missed this in your BY education, or if you are like me and you learned through it in BY many times but did not learn in the decades since HS. There is so much to learn just from the pshat of the pesukim.

What's fascinating about Rashi is that no matter how many times you learned it, you can still glean more insights from it each year. Also, it's incredible that the same Rashi can be understood by children- on their level, as well as by talmidei chachamim, on a much deeper level.

ShishKabob

Wed, Nov 03 2021, 10:33 am

b.chadash wrote:

But at the end he quotes a Chassam Sofer who asks, how does anyone know if they are married to the right one? Sometimes you are married to your spouse and it's like he is from another planet. You don't see eye to eye, and he is your complete opposite.
The Chassam Sofer says- how do you know? If the two people are complete opposites then you know it's the right one!
So when someone finds that whatever they say, their spouse says the opposite, they should know it's a perfect match.

You have comforted me my friend! Smile

b.chadash

Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:05 pm

Lovable wrote:

I keep checking this thread for updates on this weeks parsha Wink

Sorry I'm late to the party...
My husband was asking prasha questions to the kids today, and I remembered something I heard many years ago- I think from Rabbi YY Jacobson.

Rivka has strange pregnancy symptoms. Every time she passes a beis medresh, she feels the baby kicking to come out. But when she passes a house of Idol worship, the baby wants to come out as well! She is confused and and goes to the yeshiva of Shem and Ever to ask them what it means. They tell her that she is actually carrying TWO children and each one will be the head of a great nation, one will be a rasha and one will be a Tam (Rashi).

This comforts her. The question is why? Why would a mother want to hear that one of the children she is carrying will be a huge Rasha?
Of course it's nice to hear that the other child will be a tzaddik, but any mother would be distraught upon hearing she is carrying an Eisav.

The answer is that when she was told she is carrying two kids, she was happy to know that the child she is carrying is not schizophrenic. She was worried that she is carrying a child that is confused. One day he wants to learn Torah. The next day he wants to serve Avoda zara. A wishy-washy person is neither here not there. A person has to stand for something.

He goes on to say that sometimes we are blessed with a difficult child. The child is strong-willed and is constantly getting into trouble. He may have an abundance of energy and chutzpah. But it's usually these kids, when they grow up, who go on to accomplish great things. The quiet timid children who are super well behaved often grow up to be quiet timid adults.

Rivka knew that if she gave birth to an Eisav, he could eventually use those qualities for the good. Whether or not he will be accomplished for the good or bad is his bechira. But the latent talents are there.

I think of this often when I see those strong willed children who drive their mothers bananas. In the end of the day, they are often the ones who give their parents the most nachas.

GLUE

Sun, Nov 07 2021, 10:04 pm

I heard this a few years ago: I think it is from a vaad by R'Reaven Feinstein

Yaakov went to sleep and dreamed of a latter

Why does it mention that he went to sleep and what is so special about a latter?

For 14 years he lived in Yeshiva Sham V'Aver he did not sleep suddenly he goes to sleep? Yaakov said I am no longer a Yeshiva Bachour I am now a working man I can go to sleep as in not working on him self so much, more of a spiritual sleep. Hashem showed him the latter to tell him that you need to keep working on your self even if you are no longer a yeshiva bachour. No matter were you are in life you need to go up not down.

I hope I explained it so people can understand.

b.chadash

Sat, Nov 20 2021, 7:36 pm

I want to share something really nice that I read on Shabbos. Tbis is from Outlooks & Insights by Rabbi Zev Leff.

In the epic struggle between the malach of Eisav and Yaakov, the fight dragged on all night. The midrash Tanchuma says that the malach started wondering if Yaakov was actually an angel because he was not tiring. How could he keep up the fight for for long?

The difference between humans and angels is that angels don't have a hip joint. An angel never sits; he is always ready for action. Consequently, he never becomes depressed or overwhelmed. A human does not have this ability. He can be overwhelmed by a situation, causing him to give up and sit down.

So the malach kicked Yaakov in the hip area and injured him. Then he realized he was a person.

Yaakov was injured. He failed. Nevertheless, he didn't give up and become depressed. He knew this was only a minor setback. continued the struggle and eventually overcame his adversary.

The struggle between Yaakov and the angel represents the every Jew's struggle with the yetzer hara throughout history. This fight was the fight for eternity.

Even when we fail, we need to continue the fight. We need to never give up. A tzaddik falls seven times but always gets up again. He deals with each failure and then moves on, stronger and better than before.

The Torah says that because of this, Jews don't eat the Gid hanashe- the sciatica nerve. The Sforno writes that we thereby show that the place that Yaakov was wounded is not important. That is how a person must deal with failure. When you fail in one area,, you cannot become depressed over it. What's the gid hanashe? Nothing important. We throw it away. The message is that when we fail, we need to say, it was nothing! It was not a big deal, don't let it get you down. Just keep fighting. Every time a person refrains from eating the Gid hanashe, he is reminded not to be overwhelmed by adversity.

dena613

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 7:46 pm

Oops, I missed posting before Vayeishev, but like shnayim mikra, maybe we can catch up until Tuesday?

I don't know the source, but I heard from a choshuve talmid chochom, and it has a source:

everything chazal teach can be found within the Torah.

After Yosef shares his dreams, his father's response is,
מָ֛ה הַחֲל֥וֹם הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר חָלָ֑מְתָּ הֲב֣וֹא נָב֗וֹא אֲנִי֙ וְאִמְּךָ֣ וְאַחֶ֔יךָ לְהִשְׁתַּחֲוֺ֥ת לְךָ֖ אָֽרְצָה

Rashi explains that Yaakov meant to discredit the dream because the moon reprsented Yosef's mother-
והלא אמך כבר מתה

Where does chazal learn that from?
Hidden among the words of the possuk are Rochel Meisah:
אֲשֶׁ֣ר חָלָ֑מְתָּ הֲב֣וֹא

Hafoch bah vahafoch bah dekulah bah.

A freilichen Chanukah!

Ema of 5

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 8:07 pm

Parsha vayeishev:

We had an interesting discussion on shabbos. In the middle of the story of Yosef, right after he is sold and makes his way down to mitzrayim, the chumash stops and tells the story of Yehuda and Tamar. Yehuda was married and had 3 sons. The oldest, Er, married Tamar. He didn’t want to ruin her by allowing her to become pregnant, and Hashem killed him. Onan, his brother, did the same thing, with the same result. When it came to the third some, shaila, Yehuda sent Tamar away rather until he was old enough to marry her, so he shouldn’t die like his brothers.
Then it says that Yehuda’s wife died. He went the shear the sheep. Tamar heard, and went, for all intents and purposes, to seduce him. She knew that she was to have children through him, and if it wasn’t going to be his son, then it would be through him. So she covered her face and “went to the corner.” Yehuda saw her and thoughts she was a zona. They agree about what each will give the other, and then they do their thing. After, when he is looking for her, she is referred to not once but twice as a kedaisha, a holy woman. After, when it is discovered she is pregnant, the word zona is again used. I found it interesting that during the story she is called a kedaisha, but when Yehuda sees her, and again when he is told that she is pregnant, the word zona is used.

b.chadash

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 8:38 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

That is an interesting observation.
Rashi says about the word Kedaisha that it refers to a woman who is separated and sanctified specifically for this purpose.
So maybe a Zonah is stam an immoral woman, who seduces men, but a Kedaisha is one whose sole occupation is prostitution.

These are totally my own thoughts, so don't quote me on it. But possibly, when he first sees her, he thinks "here is a zonah." He looks at her with disgust. And then Hashem put in his mind that he should use her services. They make a negotiation, and then he has relations with her. Once he had that experience with her, he sees her differently. She is no longer a lowly "zonah", but a kedaisha- one who is a proffessional harlot, who earns her living this way. Once he himself used her services, he views her as a legitimate "kedaisha", not just some random zonah. His own participation in the deed legitimizes her in his eyes.

Later, when he hears about Tamar being pregnant, and not knowing that he is the father, once again, she is a zona, because it has nothing to do with him. Meaning, he looks at what she did with disgust, an immoral act done like a zonah.

Last edited by b.chadash on Sun, Nov 28 2021, 9:19 pm; edited 1 time in total