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Need chizzuk pandas and Shalom bayis

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 9:32 am
Just looking for chizzuk or those that understand. Bh I have a family of babies and older kids , my husband and I both work and we have a child with pandas which is a constant , where we know one small thing can set this child off. I don’t know if the child morning will cause a rage or if not having the right snack will cause a rage. In addition the child has anxiety: so till this child gets to sleep is sometimes after 10 . I can work with my younger kids for an hour to two to get to bed and then this one. And then I have my older children and it just seems like there’s not enough hours in the day. We’ve been so snappy and angry at each other. We don’t have alone time and if we do at night it’s for a few minutes and worried a kid will come in. I don’t even know what I’m asking. I just miss feeling loved and seeing eye to eye, being able to discuss things and not losing it or having arguments. Where did it all go? We sleep in same room but it’s like roommates bec of what we deal with daily and nightly. I know I didn’t give much detail but just needed to vent, there’s a lot more to the picture. I haveto make supper for 3 different kids for dif reasons , and I feel terrible I don’t have the time or energy to make my husband supper, he also needs a special diet supper , bec he’s home by the time all else is done. We have help but nothings enough , no one can do what I need to do as a mother ......
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amother




Violet
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 3:11 pm
OP from one pandas mom to another, does your husband recognize pandas?
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amother




Cantaloupe
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 3:48 pm
Our marriage has gone so south with our pandas child so I totally hear you. Including up at all hours of the night. Literally no advice but you're not alone.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 5:07 pm
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
OP from one pandas mom to another, does your husband recognize pandas?


Mine does not and it makes it so much harder.
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amother




Violet
 

Post Fri, Oct 15 2021, 5:16 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Mine does not and it makes it so much harder.
Yes, that why I’m asking. IME, this tends to be the crux of the issue. It causes you to feel lonely, isolated and distant. Like you’re inhabiting different realities. The rest of the issues flow from that point of pain and resentment.
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amother




Ballota
 

Post Sat, Oct 16 2021, 8:37 pm
Wow this is literally me, down to the catering meals to different needs, except I have more than 1 with pandas.
I have no advice but just want to say you're not alone.
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amother




Bone
 

Post Sat, Oct 16 2021, 9:08 pm
You are not alone. I feel the same. I would love one day (dreaming) to start a respite night in a hotel for pandas parents and another pandas parent can babysit...we are all missing a good night's sleep and intimacy with husband. And no babysitter to handle our kids...
I can accept that this illness is stealing my kids childhood and all our savings (no more to speak of) but that it is also stealing every semblance of shalom bayis...does it have to steal literally everything?
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amother




OP
 

Post Sat, Oct 16 2021, 11:38 pm
Thank you everyone . It means so much to know others understand me. I can’t talk to anyone else. And I do have more than one panda....
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 1:29 am
Can someone Explain to me how I would notice if my child has pandas? My pediatrician doesn't believe in getting tested for this . Can someone explain to me how my child would act if cv he had it? I'm just asking because I see someone has mentioned not having night.. and my ds 7 is up every night and always ends up sleeping in our room. Another thing, he is always jumpy. Even while he walks, talks, plays, his body is full of energy and moving around and jumping, meaning never calm . Can these things mean that he might have pandas ? Like how would I ever know. I never even would know where to reach out to do this test . I never checked out any of my kids if they ever had pandas . I'm becoming concerned. Please tell me on what to look out , and who can do the test to see if they do have it?
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amother




Violet
 

Post Sun, Oct 17 2021, 3:01 pm
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
Can someone Explain to me how I would notice if my child has pandas? My pediatrician doesn't believe in getting tested for this . Can someone explain to me how my child would act if cv he had it? I'm just asking because I see someone has mentioned not having night.. and my ds 7 is up every night and always ends up sleeping in our room. Another thing, he is always jumpy. Even while he walks, talks, plays, his body is full of energy and moving around and jumping, meaning never calm . Can these things mean that he might have pandas ? Like how would I ever know. I never even would know where to reach out to do this test . I never checked out any of my kids if they ever had pandas . I'm becoming concerned. Please tell me on what to look out , and who can do the test to see if they do have it?
Akathisia (a neurological symptoms that presents with motor restlessness, a compelling need to be in constant motion) and insomnia are both potential pandas symptoms. Other behaviors include meltdowns, aggressions, emotional lability, anxiety, separation anxiety, ocd, food restrictions, sensory issues, handwriting and math regression, impulsivity, tics and more.
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