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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Is 10:00 pm an ok time to call someone in the frum world who you don't know?
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| Yes |
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35% |
[ 89 ] |
| No |
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64% |
[ 160 ] |
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| Total Votes : 249 |
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:34 pm
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Is 10:00 pm an ok time to call someone in the frum world who you don't know?
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 1
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shmosmom
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:35 pm
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Yes, 10 is the cutoff. 10:30 is already questionable.
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9
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Ema of 5
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:36 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Is 10:00 pm an ok time to call someone in the frum world who you don't know? |
If you don’t know them, then no I think it’s late. Many people are awake, but many people aren’t. If you ARE going to call late, at least leave a message.
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18
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mha3484
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:37 pm
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No. I would only call someone who explicitly tells me to call or asks me if I am available (mostly kids teachers). Unless its super urgent I am done by 10pm and would not appreciate a phone call from anyone.
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:38 pm
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That's my hangout time with my husband before bedtime and I would rather you didn't call.
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5
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amother
Anemone
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:39 pm
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I would call up till 9:30/9:45 pm and try not to after that
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amother
OP
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:40 pm
| BrisketBoss wrote: | | That's my hangout time with my husband before bedtime and I would rather you didn't call. |
For me, my older kids are still up then and things are hopping. If we want to make it an earlier night, even for spending time together, I would turn off my ringer.
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amother
Carnation
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:40 pm
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I used to say yes. But now I have no interest in speaking to anyone after 9/ 9:30 even though I’m up late.
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zaq
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:43 pm
Not unless you know the person and they've told you it's totally ok with them. Even if you know a person stays up till midnight, they don't necessarily want to be disturbed at that hour. "Awake" doesn't mean "available to all and sundry." Married people might be, ahem, and even if they don't pick up, the ringing can shatter a mood. Teens and young singles tend to be looser about this and more likely to be ready, willing and able to shmooze at any hour but unless the person has told you it's OK, don't. (If they live with parents or roommates, their chatting may be disturbing other household members even if they themselves are willing to talk. )
BTW I don't know what their being frum has to do with anything. Secular people have lives, too.
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Stars
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:43 pm
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If it’s something that pertains to tomorrow morning and it’s important, it’s fine. Otherwise, wait.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:49 pm
| zaq wrote: | Not unless you know the person and they've told you it's totally ok with them. Even if you know a person stays up till midnight, they don't necessarily want to be disturbed at that hour. "Awake" doesn't mean "available to all and sundry." Married people might be, ahem, and even if they don't pick up, the ringing can shatter a mood. Teens and young singles tend to be looser about this and more likely to be ready, willing and able to shmooze at any hour but unless the person has told you it's OK, don't. (If they live with parents or roommates, their chatting may be disturbing other household members even if they themselves are willing to talk. )
BTW I don't know what their being frum has to do with anything. Secular people have lives, too. |
Most secular people run on earlier schedules than the frum world. I talk to all my sisters, sils, friends, etc between 10 and 11:30.
I would never call a non frum person after 9. All my coworkers are asleep by 9 or earlier.
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mha3484
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:56 pm
| zaq wrote: | Not unless you know the person and they've told you it's totally ok with them. Even if you know a person stays up till midnight, they don't necessarily want to be disturbed at that hour. "Awake" doesn't mean "available to all and sundry." Married people might be, ahem, and even if they don't pick up, the ringing can shatter a mood. Teens and young singles tend to be looser about this and more likely to be ready, willing and able to shmooze at any hour but unless the person has told you it's OK, don't. (If they live with parents or roommates, their chatting may be disturbing other household members even if they themselves are willing to talk. )
BTW I don't know what their being frum has to do with anything. Secular people have lives, too. |
One difference I do find at least when it comes to my kids teachers, many rebbeim who have a regular night seder will keep later hours. At orientation I find a lot of them when giving out contact information ask to be called after 9 because that is when they get home.
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:57 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Most secular people run on earlier schedules than the frum world. I talk to all my sisters, sils, friends, etc between 10 and 11:30.
I would never call a non frum person after 9. All my coworkers are asleep by 9 or earlier. |
I didn't realize that it's different in the frum world. I thought 9 was pretty much the rule.
BT problems I guess.
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7
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amother
Vermilion
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 12:59 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Most secular people run on earlier schedules than the frum world. I talk to all my sisters, sils, friends, etc between 10 and 11:30.
I would never call a non frum person after 9. All my coworkers are asleep by 9 or earlier. |
Most non-frum people I know are binge watching Squid Game after 9.
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 1:03 pm
| amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | | Most non-frum people I know are binge watching Squid Game after 9. |
Yes, I think of secular people as staying up at least as late as me, but I still think of it as being against etiquette to call them when it's late.
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keym
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 1:11 pm
In my world it's an age and stage thing.
My Mesivta boys aren't all home by 10 and even then, they're eating, shmoozing, and even if I wanted to go to sleep, usually my kids want to communicate and interact with me. I think it's the same in most my neighbors and friends who have boys my son's age.
However my siblings with an oldest of 8 have everyone sleeping by 8 and by 9:30 the adults are shutting down.
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rosesandlilies
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 1:15 pm
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No it's late to call someone you don't know. Cutoff for me is between 9 to 9:30.
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amother
Wheat
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Mon, Oct 18 2021, 1:48 pm
My older kids start getting ready for bed at 9:30-10:00, including teens. They need to be up very early the next morning.
I don't call people after 10 and don't like being called after 10 unless specifically asked to.
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