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People who call themselves "gifted" or "empaths" etc
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:34 pm
How do you know you're "more" than everyone else? For example, seeing an elderly man try to catch a bus makes me a bit sad, especially if he misses the bus....but I believe most people would feel the same way. What makes some of you proclaim yourselves to be "empaths"? Do you think you "feel' more than the average person? If yes, how do you measure that?
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amother




Sage
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:39 pm
I believe it’s kindness that counts, not iq numbers or labels. If you’re not a nice person, I don’t care how gifted you are.
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amother




Crystal
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:44 pm
Empaths isn't about caring or feeling for another person. You can be the nicest and kindest person and not be an empath and vice versa.
Empaths feel the vibes of tthose around them, negative and positive. Meaning, if you're standing with a group of people, most people won't pay attention to the person standing there quietly. An empath will immediately pick up that there's a person feeling very uncomfortable in the group and it might make them feel uncomfortable. This is just one example...
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:45 pm
Why do you think being gifted or an empath makes anyone better than anyone else? And consequently why do you think anyone saying that they are gifted and/or empathetic means they in any way hold themselves above anyone else?
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:49 pm
Zehava wrote:
Why do you think being gifted or an empath makes anyone better than anyone else? And consequently why do you think anyone saying that they are gifted and/or empathetic means they in any way hold themselves above anyone else?


I didn't say "better" - I meant how do they know that others don't have the same thoughts as them. How do they measure thoughts and feelings?
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:51 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I didn't say "better" - I meant how do they know that others don't have the same thoughts as them. How do measure feelings?

What a world it would be if we were all empaths!!! Because usually we grow up feeling different from when we’re very little. And we have a tendency to pick up on others thoughts and feelings. So we would know. And if the other person was an empath they would know. We recognize each other.
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amother




DarkOrange
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 2:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I didn't say "better" - I meant how do they know that others don't have the same thoughts as them. How do they measure thoughts and feelings?

Because I've discussed this IRL with many people and they just don't have the same reactions that I do. My husband is not an empath but he's a much kinder person than I am. One is not related to the other.
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:00 pm
I'm the OP of today Empath thread. I specifically wrote a disclaimer saying I know I'm not more than anyone else. On the contrary, I can sometimes come across more aloof or selfish because I need to set and enforce my boundaries, because otherwise I'd just be an emotional wreck.
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:05 pm
Zehava wrote:
What a world it would be if we were all empaths!!! Because usually we grow up feeling different from when we’re very little. And we have a tendency to pick up on others thoughts and feelings. So we would know. And if the other person was an empath they would know. We recognize each other.


Love this! And so true to the word !

Although I do believe that we are all innately empathetic humans to some degree.
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:06 pm
I think you may be misunderstanding the tone when you hear gifted or empath. When I say gifted (about myself, some of my kids or anyone else) I don't mean it as a synonym for special or talented. I mean it as a measurable characteristic in which an IQ is tested to be very high and it comes along with other things, often times anxiety/OCD, unusual or beyond their years sense of humor, asynchronous development, to name a few. Gifted people aren't just very smart. They think in different ways and see the world differently than the average person- who may also be very smart and potentially much more successful! Being gifted isn't about being better, it's like anything else that is atypical.
Being an empath isn't a mysterious or magical thing. It is being extremely sensitive to the moods and feelings of other people, real or imagined. You're talking about kids who can't be in the classroom during parsha because hearing about the mitzrim is too painful and scary, adults who must choose their friends and acquaintances carefully because spending time with someone negative will effect the rest of their day or a person who cannot help but cry if someone nearby gets hurt. It isn't about being kind of thoughtful. It is a certain sensitive perception that some people have, not good or bad, just how they are. I think when people say they're gifted empaths it's because in order to get by in the world where most people are not like them, they have had to work hard to understand themselves and what's going on internally. There are therapists, educational psychologists other professionals and plenty of goods that characterize and quantify it. It can be 'diagnosed'.
This is all my personal experience and understanding.
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daagahminayin




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:18 pm
Agree with the above, it’s about a heightened sensitivity to the environment, other people, energy etc.

Receiving and amplifying the energy of others as opposed to strongly generating that energy yourself.

In a system called Human Design, being an empath correlates with the open centers in your chart (among other things). Particularly the open solar plexus. So if you’re looking for external validation of why you feel like you’re an empath that’s a good place to start.
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amother




Viola
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:18 pm
Personally, I have never heard someone calling themselves gifted. I have only heard it discussed about children in a school setting. Or maybe in retrospect, "as a child, I was a gifted student." It's not something better. Is actually usually a handicap. But mostly in a classroom setting, which is why I don't usually hear adults referring to themselves as gifted. (Maybe there could be a better term that doesn't sound boastful, but as of now, I don't think it exists).

However, I think the self labeling of "empath" is an entirely different. I don't know if being an empath is a real thing or not, but in my personal experience, every single person that I know personally who sells identifies as an empath are always the exact opposite of one. They are bluntly nasty people who use the empath label to excuse their [bad] behavior. And I could never find evidence of their empathy. Only the opposite. They are self absorbed and can never see another person's perspective. It could be that these people are not actual empaths and they give the whole empath community a bad name. I don't know. But if anyone tells me that they're an empath, my guards go right up.
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amother




Dahlia
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:18 pm
This is an article I found really helpful about giftedness and empathy being related. It's talking about kids but it isn't really something people outgrow fully, even if it's easier to deal with or lessens with maturity.

https://www.psy-ed.com/wpblog/.....dren/
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amother




Crystal
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:21 pm
Although every characteristic Hashem gives a person is a gift, I would say being an empath (at least that's how I feel) is more of a burden than a gift. It's really hard being an empath and therapy can help an empath block away some of the vibes around them. Otherwise it can be really difficult as you literally get affected by everyone's mood. So if your dh comes home in a bad mood or tense you'll automatically turn to that mood as well. Oh well. Not easy. But then again, it's a gift from Hashem, so yes, I am gifted Very Happy
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:23 pm
amother [ Viola ] wrote:
Personally, I have never heard someone calling themselves gifted. I have only heard it discussed about children in a school setting. Or maybe in retrospect, "as a child, I was a gifted student." It's not something better. Is actually usually a handicap. But mostly in a classroom setting, which is why I don't usually hear adults referring to themselves as gifted. (Maybe there could be a better term that doesn't sound boastful, but as of now, I don't think it exists).

However, I think the self labeling of "empath" is an entirely different. I don't know if being an empath is a real thing or not, but in my personal experience, every single person that I know personally who sells identifies as an empath are always the exact opposite of one. They are bluntly nasty people who use the empath label to excuse their sh*tty behavior. And I could never find evidence of their empathy. Only the opposite. They are self absorbed and can never see another person's perspective. It could be that these people are not actual empaths and they give the whole empath community a bad name. I don't know. But if anyone tells me that they're an empath, my guards go right up.


A true Empath would never go around selling themselves as one. You're not totally off though, because an empath needs very strong boundaries they can come off as rude. Its a tough dance.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:31 pm
Is this a real thing? Why am I learning all these things in my mid 30's?
*me doing more research now...
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amother




Peru
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:37 pm
As a person who has ocd (not classic) and would probably also qualify as an empath, I believe it’s actually a form of ocd. There evidence to back this up to.
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amother




Brown
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:51 pm
This reminds me, when dd was in third grade, she came home crying one day that she didn't want to go back to school. What happened? Two *other* girls in her class had gotten into an argument over a game at recess. Strong feelings were expressed, and although dd was not involved, she felt emotional overload.

She's not brilliant academically but quite artistic imnsho, which I think also tends to go together with heightened sensitivity.

Wanted to add, because sensitive means not just to feelings but to your environment. Artistic people tend to notice the lines on the face that convey different emotions, how different perspectives affect our view of distance and so on.
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SafeAtLast




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:53 pm
amother [ Viola ] wrote:
Personally, I have never heard someone calling themselves gifted. I have only heard it discussed about children in a school setting. Or maybe in retrospect, "as a child, I was a gifted student." It's not something better. Is actually usually a handicap. But mostly in a classroom setting, which is why I don't usually hear adults referring to themselves as gifted. (Maybe there could be a better term that doesn't sound boastful, but as of now, I don't think it exists).

However, I think the self labeling of "empath" is an entirely different. I don't know if being an empath is a real thing or not, but in my personal experience, every single person that I know personally who sells identifies as an empath are always the exact opposite of one. They are bluntly nasty people who use the empath label to excuse their sh*tty behavior. And I could never find evidence of their empathy. Only the opposite. They are self absorbed and can never see another person's perspective. It could be that these people are not actual empaths and they give the whole empath community a bad name. I don't know. But if anyone tells me that they're an empath, my guards go right up.


Some empaths do use their giftedness to manipulate the people around them.
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amother




Clear
 

Post Mon, Oct 18 2021, 3:59 pm
Sewsew_mom wrote:
Is this a real thing? Why am I learning all these things in my mid 30's?
*me doing more research now...


I look at it this way. People are endowed with different levels of all kinds of characteristics, such as intelligence, social skills, etc. So some people are endowed with higher levels of empathy. Those people refer to themselves as empaths.

But I think there are those who call themselves empaths who don't belong in that group. Some lack the ability to say no to others on the account of upsetting anyone, but refer to the cause of that as being an empath. Instead of recognizing their lack of ability to set boundaries, its more comforting to label themselves as an empath.

*not referring to anyone here, just someone that I know personally
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