Young male supervisor either clueless or inappropriate

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Working Women

1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:18 am

I'm newish in a big buisness employing all types and stripes [chasidish yeshivish litvish modern orhtodox non religious]

This past month THREE young woman separately told me that my supervisor is
borderline inappropriate with them-
in language & body language-
nothing clearly off - but off enough

I'm older than the supervisor and he has derech eretz for me.
There are no office protocol in place

Please advise?

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:19 am

Probably clueless and needs to be made aware

FranticFrummie

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:21 am

Is this the first time he's ever interacted with women?

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:35 am

Do you have an hr department? Who hired you?

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:39 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can they give specific examples?
Saying this because I have experienced young naive right out of seminary girls blowing normal behavior waaaaaay out of proportion, convinced somone was hitting on them, when the very behavior that they had an issue with was witnessed by others, who all could not understand what these girls were reading into

octopus

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:41 am

Except 3!!! young women came forward. Someone has to say something to this guy because otherwise it could open up the business to a huge lawsuit.

amother

Oxfordblue

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:42 am

Have everyone complete a employee harrassment training, including him.
After that there are no excuses.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Dec 20 2021, 11:12 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:50 am

The HR woman is a very technical black and white doesn't read people very well type of person
I

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:51 am

they said the way he speaks smiles greets or approaches their desk made them feel very uncomfortable

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:52 am

If I tell him something can someone help me formulate what to say?

ShishKabob

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:53 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

Have everyone complete a employee harrassment training, including him.
After that there are no excuses.

This! if you don't have a training in place, make sure to start now. Good luck!

Ema of 5

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

they said the way he speaks smiles greets or approaches their desk made them feel very uncomfortable

I’m having a hard time understanding what’s inappropriate. That he smiles? That he approaches their desk? Is he TOO friendly? Does he approach them TOO often? About not work related things? Can you or they elaborate?

ShishKabob

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:57 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

Maybe he comes a little too close for comfort...

Lovable

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 10:59 am

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Wrong
If this guy is doing ANYTHING to make them feel uncomfortable, then something needs to be done. Employees dont look for things to blow out of proportion, in most cases. Especially not 3 young women.

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:01 am

Basically; there is an acceptable standard how men and woman interact
In a formal distant manner
It seems he is overstepping his boundary and using laughter and body language
which people are not familiar with
One girl said she reviewed the halachos related to working with a male and he didn't comply with it

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:05 am

octopus wrote:

Except 3!!! young women came forward. Someone has to say something to this guy because otherwise it could open up the business to a huge lawsuit.

So in the experience I spoke about, it wasnt about the number but about how mutiple girls could all misread someone's tone and body language. It was almost like they were conditioned to believe that all men are inherently perverts who cant control themselves (which would fit into the typical BY narrative of dressing tznius in order to prevent men sinning), and they all got themselves into this tizzy about what so and so is really thinking, and he is way too smiley and ugh, you "can just TELL he's thinking things" etc etc. Very sad because they really couldve done a lot of damage...luckily we were all present and completely not understanding these girls.

Im just saying....please dont make an official HR complaint that can hurt somebody else's record forever, until you are sure it is warranted

amother

Yolk

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:07 am

Tell him as if for his own good as well that there have been numerous complaints about him and his office behavior should resemble xyz. Refuse to name names. Whether innocent or not this will put him on notice.
Hatzlocha

amother

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:08 am

for sure not
if anything I would tell him directly
but I don't know him long enough
and I don't know what to say
I hope someone else won't beat me to it to make aformal complaint

Ema of 5

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:10 am

ShishKabob wrote:

Maybe he comes a little too close for comfort...

That’s why I asked for clarification

little neshamala

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 11:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

"Using laughter" means laughing with them? being lighthearted? And specifically what body language is making them uncomfortable? What is he specifically doing?
Vague terminology gets me wary.

If a colleague was laughing at a woman's way of dress, or making a crude joke, or chuckling that she is dressed pretty, does she have a date- then I would say that is inappropriate and worth bringing to HR.
But if he is being friendly, and says "make sure it's on my desk no later than 6, or else I feed you to the lions" with a big smile and a chuckle, then that is perfectly fine, and if it is making her uncomfortable, that is her problem not his.

Page 1 of 3

1 2 3 Next