Clearing table while ppl are sitting around

happy chick

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 8:47 pm

some friday nights, we have guys who will randomly show up after the meal for dessert and l'chaim. im very tired and when were done the meal, id like to clean up the table. if the guys want to sit around, thats fine w me, but its hard to clear crumbs and sweep around ppl when theyre just sitting. I could just leave the table and leave it my husband and the guys, but it wont be very clean when I wake up. how do you clear up without getting into guys faces and around their feet?

Ema of 5

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 8:50 pm

happy chick wrote:

If I go to sleep while my husband is still awake (which usually happens) he will finish up. BH we have an open house, with two big meals every shabbos, and random people stopping in to join as well. We made a deal a long time ago-I do the kitchen, he does the dining room. Of course we both help each other, but thing like making sure the food is away is my job, and making sure the table is completely cleared and the floor is swept is his job.

amother

DarkKhaki

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 8:54 pm

I don't see what the issue is. I clear off the dishes and the serving pieces, then hijack people's napkins to brush off the crumbs and any drippy puddles, then bring in a cloth to clean off the rest. They usually scootch sideways to give me room to work.

happy chick

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 8:55 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

sometimes ill go to bed and ask him to finish clearing up but he doesnt clear the crumbs very well and he doesnt sweep around/under chairs either. also, sometimes he also ends up going to sleep before the last guys are gone. we have a few regulars who come every shabbos and were ok leaving them to "host" if its getting very late.

happy chick

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 8:59 pm

amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:

its not rude to get into ppls faces as you move their cups and clear off around them? I always feel bad doing that, but I really dont feel like waiting around till midnight to clear up.

amother

Blush

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 9:33 pm

happy chick wrote:

Why can’t you ask them to sit on the couch for 5 minutes while you clear the table?

amother

Oldlace

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 9:37 pm

happy chick wrote:

You can do the crumbs in the morning.

lucky14

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 9:53 pm

happy chick wrote:

its not rude to get into ppls faces as you move their cups and clear off around them? I always feel bad doing that, but I really dont feel like waiting around till midnight to clear up.

I don't think so. I would think people would understand you want to clean up and go to sleep.

DREAMING

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 10:54 pm

happy chick wrote:

sweep in the morning.

Ema of 5

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 11:04 pm

happy chick wrote:

If it’s just that the floor isn’t swept well, I don’t really care. If the plastic is still in the table and there’s still stuff from the meal or from after, then I get upset. (We have one guy who falls asleep at the meal almost every single Friday night, and he leaves after we have both gone to sleep. The plastic comes off even if he’s sleeping.)

Ema of 5

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 11:07 pm

happy chick wrote:

its not rude to get into ppls faces as you move their cups and clear off around them? I always feel bad doing that, but I really dont feel like waiting around till midnight to clear up.

To just go into people’s faces yes, but generally they (at least my guests) will either get up and help, or they will move out of the way. If they don’t, just say something like “do you guys mind moving to the other side of the table so I can get all the crumbs here?”

Ema of 5

Sat, Oct 23 2021, 11:08 pm

zaq wrote:

What's rude is hanging around when it's clear the meal is over and the hosts want to call it a night.

If the husband is still talking to them it’s not rude for them to be there.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 12:00 am

I spent a couple years as bas bayis by a family that has an open house. Everyone pitched in - family and guests - to clean up after bentching. If ppl wanted to stay and shmooze afterwards that was fine, but first the table and floor got cleaned up. If your dh stands up and starts bringing stuff to the kitchen, ppl will hopefully get the hint. If they don’t, he should be direct and tell them we’re gonna clean up first, then we can shmooze - so-and-so can you grab the x and put in on the fleishige counter, so-and-so can you roll up the tablecloth, etc.