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How to celebrate a siyum maseches



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:02 am
BH my husband will soon be making a siyum maseches
I couldnt be more proud!

were married only a small # of years and in the beg. it was so heard for me not seeing him pick up a sefer...

I came on imamother for advice and got told to butt out of my husbands jewish life, not say anything and I did that. I never mentioned learning to him and slowly BH he has been doing this on his own.

I want to make something nice for this but my issues are as follows...

1) were living with my in laws atm until we figure out a place to settle. I was hoping to do something in our own apartment when we move and I can make a nice seuda but that wont happen for a few months
2) my husband doesnt have any friends here theyre all in his home country so who would I invite?

looking for any advice or ideas plz
and also, what do u do do celebrate ur husband making a siyum?
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amother
Cherry


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:05 am
Mazel tov! That's such great news Smile

My husband told me last week he is also making a siyum soon. I told him I want to make a siyum for him and he immediately asked me that it just be the two of us. Unless you know your husband would want something bigger maybe ask him who he would like to invite- just you, maybe your inlaws if you're by them, or more people.

I'm planning to make a steakhouse style dinner.

If you're by your inlaws maybe it would be easier if you go out to eat somewhere, whatever size group you end up having.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:08 am
amother [ Cherry ] wrote:
Mazel tov! That's such great news Smile

My husband told me last week he is also making a siyum soon. I told him I want to make a siyum for him and he immediately asked me that it just be the two of us. Unless you know your husband would want something bigger maybe ask him who he would like to invite- just you, maybe your inlaws if you're by them, or more people.

I'm planning to make a steakhouse style dinner.

If you're by your inlaws maybe it would be easier if you go out to eat somewhere, whatever size group you end up having.


mazal tov to u both too!
my in laws arent frum they wouldnt appreciate a siyum they would think its weird tbh...

I would want to make a fancy dinner but circumstances atm arent ideal so maybe well go out to celebrate

my husband told me he wants a minyan Can't Believe It

he actually mentioned maybe hell start another maseches and then when we move we can make a bigger siyum bc he finished 2 masechtos but I dont wnt him to think im ignoring this one
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amother
Cherry


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:17 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
mazal tov to u both too!
my in laws arent frum they wouldnt appreciate a siyum they would think its weird tbh...

I would want to make a fancy dinner but circumstances atm arent ideal so maybe well go out to celebrate

my husband told me he wants a minyan Can't Believe It

he actually mentioned maybe hell start another maseches and then when we move we can make a bigger siyum bc he finished 2 masechtos but I dont wnt him to think im ignoring this one


Thank you! Does he have people he schmoozes with after shul even if they're not close friends? Do you have local friends- can you invite your friends and their husbands? Any local frum relatives?
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:25 am
Mazal OP and Mr. OP!

DH has been doing the daf. At some point I decided that it would be so nice to celebrate - but for complicated reasons a seudah wouldn't go over well.

So I make a cake (or cupcakes when we needed to do individuals due to covid restrictions) decorated with a theme /themes from that masechta.

He brings it to the shiur. Sometimes my kids will join (if it's a Shabbos) and sometimes the members of the shiur will bring home for the families.

Another idea - we just had a kiddush in shul in honor of a siyum - the mesayem did the actual siyum after kiddush was made and there was a minyan so he could say the kaddish.

I think however you choose to celebrate will be appreciated, it's the recognition of effort, that this siyum is a meaningful accomplishment.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:25 am
amother [ Cherry ] wrote:
Thank you! Does he have people he schmoozes with after shul even if they're not close friends? Do you have local friends- can you invite your friends and their husbands? Any local frum relatives?


the people in shul are more modern than us, wives dont dress so tzniously etc so its not a situation I would feel comfortable having at a mixed meal if I made a seuda

my friends from HS are more modern and my friends that live in the area we want to move to dont cover hair wear pants etc

no local frum relatives

everyone is in my husbands home country....


I guess that doesnt leave many options so ill go out for dinner
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:27 am
cbsp wrote:
Mazal OP and Mr. OP!

DH has been doing the daf. At some point I decided that it would be so nice to celebrate - but for complicated reasons a seudah wouldn't go over well.

So I make a cake (or cupcakes when we needed to do individuals due to covid restrictions) decorated with a theme /themes from that masechta.

He brings it to the shiur. Sometimes my kids will join (if it's a Shabbos) and sometimes the members of the shiur will bring home for the families.

Another idea - we just had a kiddush in shul in honor of a siyum - the mesayem did the actual siyum after kiddush was made and there was a minyan so he could say the kaddish.

I think however you choose to celebrate will be appreciated, it's the recognition of effort, that this siyum is a meaningful accomplishment.


thats so nice
such cute ideas
we have a small baby so she wont be too involved Tongue Out
my husband learns on his own through videos. english isnt his first language he follows along a shiur in his native tongue ...

no chavrusa here either.
its been hard for me like I said. I got into plenty arguments with him about it Sad
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:38 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
the people in shul are more modern than us, wives dont dress so tzniously etc so its not a situation I would feel comfortable having at a mixed meal if I made a seuda

my friends from HS are more modern and my friends that live in the area we want to move to dont cover hair wear pants etc

no local frum relatives

everyone is in my husbands home country....


I guess that doesnt leave many options so ill go out for dinner


Can you ask the Rov of the shul for ideas? It may be helpful in figuring out how to have a minyan without the formality of a mixed meal...
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Living Princess




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:45 am
Maybe he could take schnapps and cake to shul so he can make a Siyum with a Minyan and the two of you go out to eat also.
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:50 am
Oh, and OP, can his friends join via zoom to wish him Mazal Tov? We've done that as well...
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 4:07 pm
Living Princess wrote:
Maybe he could take schnapps and cake to shul so he can make a Siyum with a Minyan and the two of you go out to eat also.


oh amazing thx!
can he do that on shabbos ?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 4:08 pm
cbsp wrote:
Oh, and OP, can his friends join via zoom to wish him Mazal Tov? We've done that as well...


israeli charedi they dont kno what zoom is lol TMI
its ok tho bh!
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amother
Jean


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 5:11 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
oh amazing thx!
can he do that on shabbos ?


I don't see why not, but double check with the Rabbi of the Shul, I'm sure I remember having a Siyum at our Shul on Shabbos several times
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amother
Caramel


 

Post Sun, Oct 24 2021, 5:40 pm
I’d also say a little shul siyum plus a nicely planned romantic night if circumstances allow
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