Being from a "weird place"

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endlesslybaking

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 3:57 pm

I was just having a discussion with a friend that I thought was just fascinating and eye opening and I wanted to share and ask here about it.
My friend is from Lakewood. She lived in Brooklyn for a while when she was younger, and then permanently moved to Lakewood. Most of her siblings are either in New York or in New Jersey. She was talking about her niece who is in shidduchim, and said that, while they were somewhat open to an international shidduch, her sister was very makpid about not wanting anyone from "weird places". I asked her what she meant. She said "Oh you know, someone from Toronto or Montreal is fine. Someone from Golders Green or Israel is fine. Just not someone from a weird place."
And I asked her, but as long as there's an established community that matches the hashkafah they're looking for, does the place matter?
And she said no one in her family married people from weird places and her niece wouldn't either.
(By the way, this was all said very nicely and in a respectful manner. I'm not pointing this out as a rude conversation or anything.)
And it got me thinking, do people from the tristate area view anywhere else in the world as a weird place?
Like I'm from Chile and my husband is from Argentina.
Would New York jews view us as coming from a weird place? Funny enough because I went to Bais Yaakov. My husband learned in Ponevezh when we met.
But by the tristate area definition, I guess we're weird!

I just wanted to share that. Unsure which category to even put this in.

If you're also from a "weird place", holler!

sequoia

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:00 pm

LOLWUT

thunderstorm

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:03 pm

I’m from Brooklyn and I married a South American.
One of my siblings married someone from Hungary
But I didn’t grow up in a close minded family and we were open to thinking out of the box.

Living Princess

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:06 pm

I think if you want honest answers you should move this to a forum where anonymous posting is available

endlesslybaking

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:07 pm

Living Princess wrote:

I think if you want honest answers you should move this to a forum where anonymous posting is available

Can I do that? if so, which forum should I post it in?

DrMom

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:08 pm

These are people who don't want to deal with people who are very different from themselves. They want an "in town" life.

Apparently, they also have very limited knowledge of geography -- Brooklyn, Lakewood, Toronto, Golders Green, Israel -- everything else is some murky "weird place."

Like the famous NYer View of the World cartoon:.

endlesslybaking

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:11 pm

DrMom wrote:

Omgsh. This is just amazing.

dena613

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:11 pm

Yes, OP, Chile and Argentina are the “weird” places. 😙
I think your friend’s “non-weird” (LOL) places with very large frum communities that are mentioned all the time, say, in Yated and Hamodia.

That doesn’t mean that you and your family or people from so-called “weird” places are weird. TMI

I think a better description would have been, “places without large frum communities.”

dena613

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:14 pm

And yes, Dr. Mom’s cute pic was apropos.
I was once with a mix of in-town preteens. A girl from Los Angeles was at the event, and a few of the NY girls said. “Wow! You came all the way to the United States!!???”

Banging head

applesbananas

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:14 pm

I have a family member married to a Baltimorean and people were SHOOK at the Shidduch.
Like u listening to a name from there?!?
By the Sheva brachos I struck up conversation with a family member from the other side and they said Baltimore girls are known to have a hard time

Kiwi13

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:18 pm

I'm from Cleveland and went to school in South Florida. I was pressured by shadchanim to move to NYC (I did not, B"H) because I was, and I quote, "geographically undesirable."

My husband grew up in Monticello. Year round. Nowhere near the bungalows.

I suppose you could say it was a match made in Someplace Weird. LOL

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:27 pm

No, op, it is not all people from the tei state area, just certain places in the tri state area where drmoms picture says it perfectly.
Its actually very sad, that some people think that where they live is IT and everywhere else is "weird".

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:28 pm

Kiwi13 wrote:

Love it. Own it. Smile

PeanutMama

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:39 pm

I’m from Arizona. Once someone said to me “you’re American right?”
🤦‍♀️😂

Bruria

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:45 pm

Lol, never heard of this before.

Success10

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:46 pm

I'm actually from NY, but no one ever believes me. They think I must be from someplace weird.

Kiwi13

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:49 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Love it. Own it. Smile

Bruria

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:50 pm

Is Israel too far out? LOL

iyar

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:51 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I’m from Arizona. Once someone said to me “you’re American right?”
🤦‍♀️😂

Pet peeve. I hate stereotypes but I'll say this anyway. Certain people belonging to certain segments of our society never study geography. Arizona, Argentina, Australia, all the same to them. If it's not inside their very own daled amos it might as well be on Mars. And you can see where someone would feel uncomfortable having their child marry a Martian.

Reality

Mon, Nov 01 2021, 4:59 pm

Another lovely thread bashing the tri-state area by all the super kind out of towners.

My family came from a "weird" place and almost every one of my many siblings married someone from a "typical" place.

So much for that theory.

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