Home

Full time working moms… HOW??
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:22 pm
Until this point I was home with my kids, doing side jobs, really not full time. However, finances are tight and my dream job opportunity came up. BH, the job is amazing and everything I was looking for, and I’m really happy. BUT. I leave my house at 8:25 and I come home after five. I have an almost 10 week old newborn. My other kids come home a little after 3. My husband works from home so he’s here when the kids get in. I literally feel like I can’t breathe though…the second I walk through the door it’s a blur of homework, supper and bedtime. My kids are not in their best moods at that hour and they also don’t like that I’m not there when they come home from school. I miss my newborn, I used to just snuggle with him the whole day and now I feel like the only times I see him are during midnight feedings when I’m half asleep…. I technically can work part time but we really need the income at this point….what do people do? Is it just an adjustment and everyone will learn to live with it?
Back to top

amother




Mint
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:34 pm
That is tough and you have such a small baby still. Any way to leave work earlier, like 330-4??
Back to top

amother




Sage
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:36 pm
I’m out of the house 10 hours too but I dont have a newborn. It’s brutally hard and with a tiny baby, much much harder
Back to top

amother




Mintcream
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:41 pm
These threads always end the same way, OP, no one does it all. Mothers who work full time either have lots of help or feel very overworked and resentful. No one manages to stay sane and happy while working that many hours especially with such a tiny little baby at home if they don't have a lot of help.
Back to top

amother




Hunter
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:50 pm
It's impossibly hard. And I don't have a newborn. I don't manage. It is always hard, doesn't get easier. I've been exhausted for years. But I need the money.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:53 pm
So BH I do have cleaning help…I just really miss my kids and I don’t like the tired exhausted person I am when I only see them for a couple of hours a day…. And I really really miss being home with my sweet new baby 😭
Back to top

amother




Bluebell
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:54 pm
I work a little bit less than you but I work evenings and when I tell people they are baffled. You know what? It’s crazy what the human body and spirit can get used to. I try to treat myself well so I’m not resentful but I’ve done this so far with all my kids, including 3 newborns Smile
Back to top

amother




Navy
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 9:56 pm
I worked full time for 18 years. I had cleaning help a few hours a day. I had 9 kids during that time. I went back to work 6 weeks post baby for a lot of the kids. No, I'm not supermom or superhuman. I just took 1 day at a time. Invested alot in self care, even if it was an extra 5 minutes in the shower!
It forced me to be very organized and it also helped me really appreciate any quality time I did have with my children. Hatzlacha! If there's a will Hashem will show you the way!
Back to top

amother




Starflower
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 10:56 pm
Amother Navy, love your attitude.

I left my babies at 6 weeks. The irony is that my infants didn't really care - I think the biggest impact is on the older kids.

If you don't like the way you feel at the end of the day, change the way you approach nighttime. During your commute home, indulge in music in your car, singing at the top of your lungs, listening to an audiobook or a podcast (or a shiur) that you enjoy. Anything. Use your time alone to feel like you're indulging yourself, so that when you walk through the door you're ready to take it on. Don't spend time calling work, or calling appointments, or anything that stresses you out, unless it's your kids calling to say hi.

Give each child a smile, and sit everyone around the table and work with each one, even if it's only ten minutes. If anyone looks like they had a rough day, give that child extra time and especially a bedtime routine. You're super lucky you have your husband home! Know that your kids see their parents all the time - their father is important too, and don't discount his impact on being home as being conducive to a loving environment.

As your kids get older, they spend less and less time at home, and we all rush our encounters anyway. Make sure their encounters with you count, and snuggle your babies when you get home. I did co-sleeping for this reason. Make the most of your shabbos and Sundays.
Back to top

flmommy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:13 pm
Split the difference work between half and full time or have certain days you leave early so you have time to breathe, take kids to appts or do an errand.
Back to top

amother




Clear
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:22 pm
Ppl on this site are always kvetching that they work full time have no cleaning etc. I am talking specifically now about people who still have kids in preschool- I do not know a single person in real life that works full time with no help. Full time meaning 40 hours a week. I personally have 4 kids, oldest is in third grade and work 9-4 Monday thru thursday. That is 28 hours a week and technically part time and that’s a lot and I work one of the most hours of my friends. The few people that I know that are legit working 40 hours a week with kids in preschool all have full time help in the house so they are not dealing with carpools and much of the housework is off their head too.
Back to top

amother




Bone
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:27 pm
amother [ Clear ] wrote:
Ppl on this site are always kvetching that they work full time have no cleaning etc. I am talking specifically now about people who still have kids in preschool- I do not know a single person in real life that works full time with no help. Full time meaning 40 hours a week. I personally have 4 kids, oldest is in third grade and work 9-4 Monday thru thursday. That is 28 hours a week and technically part time and that’s a lot and I work one of the most hours of my friends. The few people that I know that are legit working 40 hours a week with kids in preschool all have full time help in the house so they are not dealing with carpools and much of the housework is off their head too.


I guess you don’t know me Wink. I work 40 hours a week and commute 40 minutes each way. I stay late most days so I can leave early on Fridays (by 3). I have five kids under 11. I love my job and right now can’t afford to go part time. I also am too tired to deal with cleaning help in the few hours I have at night, and I wouldn’t leave someone unsupervised. My husband is home for when the kids get home, and he definitely doesn’t have the headspace for another person in the house. So we do very basic cleaning when we can. And basic cooking. And skip orientation for school, and functions. Basically just survival mode
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:59 pm
You have a ten week old and you are pretending to be back to normal when not sleeping, still adjusting to a new human, having hormonal changes etc. That is insane. The expectation is insane, not you.
Back to top

amother




Natural
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 12:10 am
I work 38 hrs a week and have an earlier schedule (7:45-3:15) so I can be home for my kids when they get home/do carpool pickup. My husband has a more flexible schedule. I don't have cleaning help. Every week I sit on the couch on Friday night after licht benching and ask myself how on earth I got through the week and wonder if it is worth it. And then I promptly doze off.... 💤
Back to top

zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 2:58 pm
You hang on by your teeth and fingernails and endure until your kids are older. Survival mode as amother bone calls it.
You set priorities and attend only to the highest ones.
You pare things down to the absolute essentials. You buy with an eye to low maintenance, not to high fashion.
You teach your children from the earliest possible age to do household chores and then accept the way they do them.
You multitask.
You adapt to sleeping 4- 6 hours a night.
You use your lunch break for anything you can accomplish in the time allotted, whether it's banking or shopping or exercising. You do nutty things like buying dried beans on your lunch break, rinsing them and soaking them in your thermos so they're ready to cook when you get home. You keep shoe polish and a rag at work so you can shine your shoes if you get to work a few minutes early or while you're on the phone.
If you use mass transit, rejoice! You can do so much en route, from small mending projects to balancing your checkbook to planning the week's menus to sleeping (only if your transit system is safe enough to allow this) to isometric exercises to meditation to emailing via smartphone.
You read every book and article you can find on time management and adopt something from every one of them.
Back to top

amother




NeonGreen
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 3:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Until this point I was home with my kids, doing side jobs, really not full time. However, finances are tight and my dream job opportunity came up. BH, the job is amazing and everything I was looking for, and I’m really happy. BUT. I leave my house at 8:25 and I come home after five. I have an almost 10 week old newborn. My other kids come home a little after 3. My husband works from home so he’s here when the kids get in. I literally feel like I can’t breathe though…the second I walk through the door it’s a blur of homework, supper and bedtime. My kids are not in their best moods at that hour and they also don’t like that I’m not there when they come home from school. I miss my newborn, I used to just snuggle with him the whole day and now I feel like the only times I see him are during midnight feedings when I’m half asleep…. I technically can work part time but we really need the income at this point….what do people do? Is it just an adjustment and everyone will learn to live with it?


If you can technically work part time then you should try it out let say until your baby is 6 months and see how you survive. Your will find that when you are home more you can probably save on some expenses. And your sanity too is important. You try and HKB"H will help. Hopefully this can work until your kids are a little older.
Back to top

twogees




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 5:23 pm
I went from not really working to working full time. Currently, I work 8:30-5 so I'm out from 8:15-5:15 officially but my son gets dropped off at my in-laws after school so I don't get home untill 5:40 at earliest. I do keep ready to eat (or almost ready to eat) meals in my freezer so that I can pull it out of the freezer. On days that I'm super exhausted from work supper is a bowl of cereal for my son and something else for me and my husband later.
Back to top

amother




Wandflower
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 5:36 pm
I only do it well because of full time at home help. I would never be able to work like I do otherwise.
Back to top

amother




Pearl
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 6:42 pm
It's hard. I have a long driving commute but I usually enjoy it with podcasts and music. Lately what helps me is simplifying dinner so I have more time to relax and give my kids attention. I have young kids and we often get home at 5 and they're starving and cranky. If I can, I give them the veggie part of dinner right away, as a snack (like steamed frozen peas or raw peppers). Then I make something quick. We get pizza one night every week and that's nice because I can spend the cooking and cleaning time with them. Some nights it's just kids charcuterie (crackers, cheese, hummus, cut veggies and fruits), and they love that. They don't care about having a "proper" fleish dinner.
Back to top

amother




Bellflower
 

Post Thu, Nov 04 2021, 7:44 pm
Its been a minute since I worked.
Sometimes when I came home to the older kids bus, I first waited for the bus, then picked up my baby from the babysitter after I already settled him for a snack. sitter was next door. it just made things less "desperate". if you know what I mean.
when you come home, feed your baby in a QUIET room, take a cup of cold water and snack for yourself, so you have some sort of calmness even if you're doing something. lock the door, give yourself a minute.
Then hopefully you have who to hand off the baby , if you cant put her/him in a crib or infant seat. Then dinner/homework/bedtime. Of course its a lot, but give yourself some quieter moments before/after
main objective: stay sane.
Back to top
1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Full-time childcare in Cleveland
by amother
30 Sun, Jan 23 2022, 9:15 pm View last post
Full home makeover on AliExpress
by helpful
31 Thu, Jan 20 2022, 3:30 pm View last post
Chinuch experts and experienced moms please advise!
by amother
15 Fri, Jan 14 2022, 11:46 am View last post
by smss
Working in a not organized Dr office... help!!!
by amother
2 Fri, Jan 14 2022, 2:26 am View last post
Working remotely 3 Tue, Jan 11 2022, 9:27 pm View last post