 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
|
amother
Firebrick
|
 Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:31 am
It's possible that the invite was phrased ambiguously as:
"We'd love to have you this Shabbos!"
"Wow! Thanks. I'm not sure. Might have something going on."
"Ok. If it works out for you, please let us know."
Also, it's my policy to try to follow up on any invitation that my dh extends to the dh in the other family. I've found that it's not unusual for the wife to have never even heard that we invited them. Or for both spouses to assume that the other answered. We even had a simchah where both spouses answered, each for both of them, and they gave different answers!
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 2
|
shabbatiscoming
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:32 am
|
This happened to us. We invited soneone for the whole shabbat never heard anything back. We assumed they werent coming. I was getting into the shower and my husband comes running in saying "guess whose here". We had to find a place for them to sleep as we had other guests as well. Thankfully our neighbors were amazing. But it was rude to have never let us know. Same with meal guests.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
octopus
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:32 am
|
How far in advance was the invite?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Pear
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:34 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | This invite was for sleeping and eating |
So if you called say on monday, I would call again Wednesday and say “shoping soon for Shabbos, just wanted to confirm yes or no,”
If they still don’t answer- then I would assume the answer is no- and they maybe feel that it would hurt your feelings and don’t know how to say no.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
|
amother
Pear
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:36 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | This invite was for sleeping and eating |
So if you called say on monday, I would call again Wednesday and say “shopping soon for Shabbos, just wanted to confirm yes or no,”
If they still don’t answer- then I would assume the answer is no- and they maybe feel that it would hurt your feelings and don’t know how to say no.
Still , this is not appropriate. They should give a definite answer.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Hyssop
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:40 am
|
My husband once invited a family and I realized they were having a hard time committing. I thought it was because the wife didn’t know me and probably wasn’t sure about accepting an invitation when she wasn’t sure I was okay with it. I told my husband to call again and specifically say that I was happy they were coming and looking forward.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Jetblack
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 6:03 am
Maybe they thought they said no, because they said something vague like "Thanks so much, but our kids is toilet training these days, I'll have to get back to you." They thought it was a refusal, and you heard a maybe. Some people just don't feel comfortable saying no outright.
Or maybe they called and left a message at a wrong number. Or maybe each spouse thought the other one had called.
Whatever. It's totally acceptable to call and say you'd love to have them, are they coming.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Forsythia
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 10:46 am
Just call to check in with him and see if they have a response.
Instead of accusing them of being rude, we can be dan lkaf zechus. Maybe they left a message at the wrong number, maybe each spouse thought the other one was calling with a response, or maybe things got really hectic and it slipped their mind. Just call back and say you're starting to cook for Shabbos and just wondering if they are coming or not.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Strawberry
|
Sun, Nov 07 2021, 5:25 pm
|
I would just assume a no until I heard definitively otherwise.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
