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New sheital gemach questions and how to get donations
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 09 2021, 9:29 pm
Im helping a friend with a new sheital gemach she set up in the area (queens)

some qs:

1. how do we trust that those reaching out really need sheitals? we've had a few wealthy women reach out so far that stam want an extra rainy day sheital.
2. an application was set up that asks for wifes income, dh income and 2 references. what questions do I ask the references with calling?


If you have any old gently used wearable sheitals lying around please consider donating!!!
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 10 2021, 12:11 am
(1) if you are taking used sheitels and don’t have overhead I wouldn’t ask for income. That will embarass and turn away people who need it. Instead I would just emphasize on your flyers that it’s a tzedakah Gemach for those who can’t afford a new sheital.
(2) to get donations advertise on local community what’s apps or chats.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 10 2021, 12:24 am
I feel like those asking need it. An application with income for just a wig is degrading. How about just a reference?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Nov 10 2021, 3:15 pm
thank you both.
I didnt want to put the income q on it but the director did. im just helping out.
she said a few wealthy women from the community called her and she specified on the insta bio, on the flyer and email that its rly for women that need it. some people are off
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, Nov 10 2021, 3:35 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Im helping a friend with a new sheital gemach she set up in the area (queens)

some qs:

1. how do we trust that those reaching out really need sheitals? we've had a few wealthy women reach out so far that stam want an extra rainy day sheital.
2. an application was set up that asks for wifes income, dh income and 2 references. what questions do I ask the references with calling?


If you have any old gently used wearable sheitals lying around please consider donating!!!


I was in a shelter for abused women and brought a few of my belongings. I did not have a shaitel. (some women barely bring anything)

I would have no problem giving references from the shelter etc, its not degrading. I did not choose to have to flee an abuser. Besides I am used to repeating my story over and over again when asking for help and applying for stuff. Plus getting food from the soup kitchen. (ok, its a little bit degrading, I don't love it, but I have lived throught this and there is no way around it until someone comes up with a better system)

I am disgusted that people who have a home, a husband, a job would so much to even consider reaching out to a sheitel gemach, I hope they NEVER EVER have to go through and feel what it really is to have nothing, having to go ask for help advocating for yourself especially being completely broken down fresh out of an abusive marriage.

(references can be fake, so something substantial is better: such as: staff from domestic violence shelter, a social worker, a beit din familiar with the abuse etc)

And I want to say it's awesome what you're doing!
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amother
DarkPurple


 

Post Wed, Nov 10 2021, 3:41 pm
I’m a SM and wnvr women buy a new wig, I always offer for them to donate an old one. I give them away to customers who I know don’t have money. Most sane people realize that gmachs are for poor people and don’t expect free wigs just cuz. Also it can be degrading. You take only if you need...
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 4:22 pm
Thnak you ladies

Do you think it would be a waste of time or a good idea for me to reach out to sheital companies? Miris, irene, sary, eva and chloe and see if they have any old pieces in stock they'd like to donate?
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jellybelly94




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 4:27 pm
Where are you located op? Is there a way I can reach out to you? I have a wig tht I'd be happy to donate. ( I'm in the lkwd area)
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 4:28 pm
jellybelly94 wrote:
Where are you located op? Is there a way I can reach out to you? I have a wig tht I'd be happy to donate. ( I'm in the lkwd area)


Ill pm u!
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amother
Viola


 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 4:37 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
I was in a shelter for abused women and brought a few of my belongings. I did not have a shaitel. (some women barely bring anything)

I would have no problem giving references from the shelter etc, its not degrading. I did not choose to have to flee an abuser. Besides I am used to repeating my story over and over again when asking for help and applying for stuff. Plus getting food from the soup kitchen. (ok, its a little bit degrading, I don't love it, but I have lived throught this and there is no way around it until someone comes up with a better system)

I am disgusted that people who have a home, a husband, a job would so much to even consider reaching out to a sheitel gemach, I hope they NEVER EVER have to go through and feel what it really is to have nothing, having to go ask for help advocating for yourself especially being completely broken down fresh out of an abusive marriage.

(references can be fake, so something substantial is better: such as: staff from domestic violence shelter, a social worker, a beit din familiar with the abuse etc)

And I want to say it's awesome what you're doing!

I’m sorry for the hell you’ve been through. But I had a period where I had a home, a husband and a job but my DH was controlling and didn’t let me spend the money I earned. I had to get an organization to give me a donation and my rav got involved and yes, I reached out to get a a second hand sheitel because what I had was over a decade old and ripped.
I never judge anyone who is collecting. They could be rich and seem to have it all. We don’t know what’s going on behind any closed doors (as I’m sure you very well know, based on your own experiences)
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 5:25 pm
amother [ Viola ] wrote:
I’m sorry for the hell you’ve been through. But I had a period where I had a home, a husband and a job but my DH was controlling and didn’t let me spend the money I earned. I had to get an organization to give me a donation and my rav got involved and yes, I reached out to get a a second hand sheitel because what I had was over a decade old and ripped.
I never judge anyone who is collecting. They could be rich and seem to have it all. We don’t know what’s going on behind any closed doors (as I’m sure you very well know, based on your own experiences)


Hi, thank you, and I am sorry for your experience as well. Yes you're right, that is very true. Good reminder. We never know what goes on behind closed doors. Hugs
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amother
Quince


 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 6:12 pm
In my town, a store opened which sold groceries for lower prices, and you needed a membership to shop there. Membership was for klei kodesh and others in need. The application form had basic stuff like name, address, number of kids and where they were (school/yeshiva/sem/married), father's and mother's occupation, and the name of their Rav. I'm assuming someone called the Ravs to ask if a family was really in need if there was a question. This avoided having to put more personal info on the form and was not demeaning. Presumably the vast vast majority of those who applied really needed and were accepted. Perhaps you could do something similar to this.
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ChutzPAh




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 11 2021, 6:39 pm
You should not be asking for people’s income. It will keep away some women who could really use a sheitel. Besides, someone can have a nice income on paper and have medical expenses or what not eating it up.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 12 2021, 5:40 am
ChutzPAh wrote:
You should not be asking for people’s income. It will keep away some women who could really use a sheitel. Besides, someone can have a nice income on paper and have medical expenses or what not eating it up.


I told the director I dont think its a good idea and she brushed me off and said she doesnt trust people
if it was my gemach I wouldnt put it but I cant do anything about it
im helping her with the social media part, advertising and getting donations
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 6:30 pm
hi, any ideas of how we can get donations?
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:38 pm
Make a flyer and ask to post in ladies bathroom at shul, mikvah, local advertisements, bulletin board at kosher store. Every time you go to a ladies event ask if you can make a “pitch” for the Gemach. Post flyer at sheitel machers.
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amother
Cyclamen


 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:51 pm
My local sheitel gemach doesn't ask for any info or reference.
I think the person in charge feels like it's a chessed to help save ppl money.

No fancy wealthy ppl want a used sheitel!

My friend who got a sheitel from her COULD afford to buy a sheitel of she really wanted to, but she is definitely low income according to any state or federal guidelines. Let her save her money!
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 9:02 pm
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
I was in a shelter for abused women and brought a few of my belongings. I did not have a shaitel. (some women barely bring anything)

I would have no problem giving references from the shelter etc, its not degrading. I did not choose to have to flee an abuser. Besides I am used to repeating my story over and over again when asking for help and applying for stuff. Plus getting food from the soup kitchen. (ok, its a little bit degrading, I don't love it, but I have lived throught this and there is no way around it until someone comes up with a better system)

I am disgusted that people who have a home, a husband, a job would so much to even consider reaching out to a sheitel gemach, I hope they NEVER EVER have to go through and feel what it really is to have nothing, having to go ask for help advocating for yourself especially being completely broken down fresh out of an abusive marriage.

(references can be fake, so something substantial is better: such as: staff from domestic violence shelter, a social worker, a beit din familiar with the abuse etc)

And I want to say it's awesome what you're doing!


I am sorry for what you have been through and although it’s disgusting for someone who is wealthy to use services meant for low income I don’t think you are right that it’s wrong of someone with a house and a job to go to a sheitel gemach. Sheitels are expensive, I don’t have enough spare money to buy a new one (and haven’t since my wedding 🤣) but I have gotten some nice used pieces. If someone needs it it should be available. Many jobs require sheitals and some places it’s the norm to wear it out, it’s not some luxury item that people can do without.
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twizzlers1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 10:47 pm
I know that you are trying to help which is very nice. It just seems like she's asking very invasive questions from people that probably really do need help. I am not super wealthy but I could afford to buy a new one and I would never try to take from someone else so I find it hard to believe that someone who is in the wealthy category would want to get one for free. Maybe they are trying to get it for a friend or something. Maybe you can recommend that she speaks to a Rav about this. Just seems like this could be a really special mitzvah but not if she is putting people in very uncomfortable positions.
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amother
Firethorn


 

Post Tue, Dec 21 2021, 10:57 pm
I am in the poor bracket and cannot afford a new wig. I'm making a simcha now and really need a normal sheitel, I'd take a second hand sheitel, but would not feel comfortable giving out my income information to a random woman.
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