Just found out it's twins and totally overwhelmed!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Twins, Triplets, and more

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amother

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 2:44 pm

We've been TTC #1 for about a year and BH I'm finally pregnant with the help of some fertility meds. A few days ago we found out it was twins.

I'm SO grateful to be pregnant. I know twins are a huge bracha. But I'm feeling panicked that we can't do this. We live in a 1-bedroom and everything I've budgeted for - financially, mentally, physical space - has been for one baby. I tried looking at local childcare costs and it's ASTRONOMICAL. I don't know where we're going to fit two cribs. I don't know when I can go back to work.

I also don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I feel like in a way I'm "mourning" the experience I thought I was going to have, and accepting that it's going to be something completely different. So many of my friends have had their first baby in the past year, and I assumed I'd be following in their footsteps. Now I'm the only person who suddenly will have two kids and this is a brand new experience that I have zero frame of reference for. Every vision I've dreamed of: having a baby, putting a baby to sleep, going to the supermarket with a baby, all of it now feels completely irrelevant and I don't even know what this new thing will look like.

Again, I'm so grateful and thankful to be pregnant. I know one way or another, we will manage, and I know this is what Hashem wants for us. But I'm finding it so hard to even grasp this. Any chizzuk or advice would be so appreciated. Thank you Smile

amother

Plum

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 2:57 pm

I'm farther along the journey, pregnant with twins entering last trimester. I don't know how I'm going to do it or how I'm going to fit two cribs either. But I keep on reminding myself to take a deep breath , and we will manage. Bh it's for good things. I have other kids so it's not my firsts , but I'm not sure how I will manage the older kids and the babies. I will do my best. If I need help I will get help. Bshaah Tovah and feel good!

amother

Babypink

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:02 pm

My twins are now 12 and I remember finding out that I was having 2 and completely freaking out and worrying about everything. How was I going to manage to carry 2 babies around, how was I going to deal with every thing and BH things work out. The worry and panic were so not worth it. You just got to tell yourself it will work out. It might be different than you expected but BH people have twins and survive. BH it’s a good thing to be worried about.
My biggest regret is the panic and worry that I let overtake my pregnancy

Practically, babies don’t need 2 cribs right away. They don’t need 2 of everything. It will come to u
Good luck! The effort totally pays off

amother

Freesia

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:03 pm

This is just a small point, but can they sleep in same crib in beginning?

amother

Blue

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:05 pm

IYH both twins will thrive and be healthy. Bshaah tova ❤️❤️

I came here to say, I think there's a big movement now to keep twins together in the same crib? Don't know so much about it (pros and cons) and it doesn't fully answer your question, but something to look into.

amother

Ruby

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:07 pm

Im so happy for you! it should all go smooth and easy from here. (From experience it might be hard) Where do you live? because in new york city you can possibly get help from insurance.

amother

Ruby

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:10 pm

I think we should have a separate forum for twin moms or moms of multiples

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:22 pm

I have a bunch of kids before my twins, so situation is different. But just want to share that it is the most amazing miracle. No, it's not what you pictured. But what a brocha! I'm so awed watching my twins reach milestones, develop unique personalities, grow into themselves. And think of the adorable double stroller and matching outfits Smile

May hashem give you an easy pregnancy, healthy babies, and lots and lots of koach

amother

Amber

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:34 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

I think we should have a separate forum for twin moms or moms of multiples

we do !

amother

Amber

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:36 pm

I had a one year old child when I gave birth to twins who were born early I out them in a basinet together in our small apartment

amother

Amber

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:38 pm

my twins are identical when they were younger they had matching outfits
it attracted a lot of unwanted attention I also did not use ryhming names or names that begin with the same letter on facebook they have lots of twin gropus

amother

Lime

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 3:58 pm

Bshaa Tova op! It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you find out such big news! I think that after feeling a little bit anxious about how it’s going to work, just put all those feelings at the side and enjoy every moment of your precious pregnancy. Iyh it will work out just fine, your babies chose you and your husband as their parents and they will be very happy iyh even if they don’t have double of everything. I feel like most of the stuff I’ve bought for my kids I didn’t use that much and regretted buying.
Regarding your friends who are in the stage of 1 baby, you will be the one teaching them about how to deal with 2 Bh! Soon they will have a second and will be thrilled to ask you advices! 👍

amother

Dustypink

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:03 pm

Try not to think about the logistics right now. It seems very overwhelming for you. Try to imagine the nachas and joy that comes along with raising twins. I had a bunch of singeltons before my twins and there is nothing like twins. Its such a special bracha to be zoche to have and raise twins. I tell ppl its a double bracha! Regarding cribs, we also didn't have room for two cribs. My twins shared a pack n play until they started moving. Then they each moved into their own pack n plays. I bought thicker mattresses for the pack n plays. They slept in them beautifully and moved into beds at around 2 1/2 years old. The biggest advantage of pack n plays is that you can bring their cribs with you wherever you go so they had no trouble sleeping when we traveled. I also brought my twins with my everywhere. I had a double snap and go and we just went where we had to go.
I was always jealous (in a good way!) of people who had twins and was so happy when I found out that I was pregnant with twins!

English3

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:16 pm

When I found out I couldn't sleep for three days afterwards my mind was on spin mode until they were born. I kept on thinking million thoughts and prepared myself very well. I think the anxiety was due to extra hormones.
Search the twins section for ideas. And just know you can ask us for advice.
Just a little tip your twins have built in company it's much easier than entertaining the first. It is a challenge that your becoming a family straight away but trust me once they are a little older you are going to love them.
If you decide to birth naturally or breastfeed do speak to a doula or feeding counselor before they are born and not after so that you are not overwhelmed.

amother

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:16 pm

Thank you so much for all the answers!! I just went on a long walk with my husband where we talked it all out and I felt a lot better, then I came back and read this whole thread and now feeling even more better!!

To answer a previous question, I live in NYC.

And to the person who said we're starting off with a whole family, yes! That's what it feels like and it's crazy. Like we just skipped a bunch of steps. So cool but so weird.

finprof

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:50 pm

Mine still sleep in the same bed at 3! (FTR there are 2 beds and we did have 2 cribs...but looking back, both seem like a waste of money and space!) Relax, you can do this!

amother

Gardenia

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:53 pm

It's going to be amazing!! Also, people are enamored with twins and so are more likely to offer help, whether it's financial or even chesed girls nearby to watch them for a bit.

So jealous, OP! I always wanted twins! And even better - you can name each one after each side, and no machlokes!

amother

Stonewash

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 6:01 pm

You can get help from Medicaid in nyc for twins.

Get the info now, get the papers and numbers ready and when the babies are born, let the first person that offers to help set it up for you.

B’Shaah Tovah

Kiwi13

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 6:08 pm

Bshaa tova from a fellow mom of twins!! Hug

modehani

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 7:17 pm

Bshaah tova!! It does take time to get used to the idea. In the meantime, I highly recommend the book by Dr. Barbara Luke called When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads. It has excellent advice regarding nutrition during a multiples pregnancy that can help with going closer to full term and larger birth weights based on thousands of cases.

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