Sleeping in same bed as guests, other linen

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:01 pm

What is the correct thing to do if you are guests somewhere and they have 2 beds but you and dh share one bed? On the one hand I don't want to strip the other bed because it's totally clean and such a waste of hard work for the host to wash it and make the bed again. But otoh it seems inappropriate to make it so obvious that we shared a bed? Even if we weren't intimate

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:06 pm

Id strip both. No big deal. Dont think too much into this Smile

amother

Lemonlime

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:17 pm

Even if neither of us sleep in the other bed, we use it. We put suitcases, we use the blanket and pillows, etc

amother

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 4:57 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Id strip both. No big deal. Dont think too much into this Smile

No big deal? What if it's a busy mommy with many children and not just cleaning help to do it Can't Believe It

amother

Green

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No big deal? What if it's a busy mommy with many children and not just cleaning help to do it Can't Believe It

If she made up 2 beds, she's already expecting to do the linen and is ok with it. If you are really concerned, stay an extra hour or so, you can throw the linen in the washer/dryer and remake the beds before you leave....

amother

Indigo

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:07 pm

We've had this. We just stripped both beds. Tznius purposes.
If I was the host, I'd rather not know and wash both sets of linen.

amother

Banana

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:11 pm

If I were the host, I would totally not care.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No big deal? What if it's a busy mommy with many children and not just cleaning help to do it Can't Believe It

I dont understand why everyone assumes that if someone suggests something bigger or a bit more difficult, there has to be cleaning help.
OP, I know many families out there, shocking to you maybe, that have no cleaning help and have guests most weeks, sleeping guests.
If the bed was made it can be cleaned too. And maybe the husband does the linen or the children, if any at home? I know in my home the linen for sleeping guests is either my daughter or husband. And the wash, whomever is closer to the linen after shabbat takes it to the washing machine. So yes, not a big deal. Also from one bedding to two is not all that much more.

amother

Thistle

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:42 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

If I was the host, I'd rather not know and wash both sets of linen.

Me, too. No need to rub my nose in your relationship.

SuperWify

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 5:44 pm

Whenever my sister sleeps over she tells me which bed they use and I appreciate it because honestly, it is extra work.

Once I went to my aunts house and simply told her- this bed is clean. She was very appreciative.

amother

Indigo

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No big deal? What if it's a busy mommy with many children and not just cleaning help to do it Can't Believe It

If they invited you, they are up to washing both beds of linen.

amother

Blueberry

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:12 pm

I always wash both sets, even if only one person sleeps over so that they fade the same anyway.
Strip both beds.

amother

Charcoal

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:16 pm

I'd rather not know.
Some things just don't need to public.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:23 pm

I’ve never stripped the beds after being a guest in someone’s house. And I would be quite annoyed if my guests stripped the beds in my house.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:29 pm

None of the hostess's business what my dh and I do or dont do. Even for a relative.
I usually ask "should I leave on the sheets or strip the beds?" and if she says leave, I would nicely make up both beds. Or strip them both. Also as someone said, as the hostess, I would anyways want to wash both so they stay looking the same. And I for sure dont want to know what my guests were doing in my house!
This is a case of practicality not winning

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:47 pm

It seems to me like you want to brag. No one cares about your relationship.

BrisketBoss

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:49 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

It seems to me like you want to brag. No one cares about your relationship.

???

amother

Kiwi

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:51 pm

Please, never put your suitcase on to a bed with linen.

amother

Indigo

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:51 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

I’ve never stripped the beds after being a guest in someone’s house. And I would be quite annoyed if my guests stripped the beds in my house.

I believe we have had threads about this.

Rule of thumb- ask hostess if it's ok to strip the beds. For some it's a help, while others would be upset if you do.

WhatFor

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 9:54 pm

I'd strip both beds regardless. Even if someone didn't sleep in it, they may have put their stuff on it, sat on it with the same clothing they wore in shul, or whatever. It's not significantly more work to strip one bed when you're already doing another. I hadn't even thought of the fading thing but I'm glad others brought it to my attention.

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