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Internet Safety for Hi-Tech Kids



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 1:18 pm
I’ve been grappling with this issue for a while now. My son is still a preteen, but he is a complete computer geek and very computer literate; way above his age. My problem is, how do I keep this kid safe from internet dangers? No filter will work for this kid. Also, he has a raspberry pi computer and as far as I can tell, there are no filter options out there for that. Please correct me if I’m wrong!
Another concern is- when I try to explain to him the need for a filter he says that’s only necessary if you’re looking for something bad. I told him no, even good adults need filters because if you mistype something, you can accidentally be exposed to filth. He is a good kid and I do trust him that he wouldn’t look for bad. I also worry that if he perceives I do not trust him, that is opening the possibility of him desiring to explore more.
Sorry so long, but if you have a highly tech-literate teenager/preteen, how do you effectively keep your child safe without breaking that bond of trust?
I wish we could go back in time to a generation where this was no concern…
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believe22




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 4:31 pm
Good for you for being proactive here! I would first suggest limiting him to devices that CAN be filtered and protected. Replace the raspberry pi with something flashier that he’ll want to upgrade to.

Engage the geekiness is another way -as opposed to random web searching, get him a TI-84 python calculator and have him program it. Buy him a VEX robotics kit and have him write programs and automate it. If he’s in love with programming, engage him positively in a real course-there are many online options. Finding him an internship or mentor who has a good balance in terms of internet safety is a great idea as well.
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amother
IndianRed


 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 4:35 pm
I also have a son like this. My friend told me she has Norton Family plan. I plan to look into it. She says she created an account for every device in the house (including her own phone!) and Norton gives the parent control to limit the internet usage on the devices. For example, she can make a white list for her son. Or she can just block inappropriate websites.
Good luck! It is so hard to protect our kids in this generation. Hashem should help us.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 5:08 pm
Is the computer accessible only in a public place (ie family room)? That's step one!
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 5:14 pm
Agreed to filter the router.

He's not gonna give up on the pi, but what's he running on there? Linux?

It's a good idea to teach him about safe surfing and Shmiras Einayim. He'd probably outsmart any filter either way.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 18 2021, 5:40 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Agreed to filter the router.

He's not gonna give up on the pi, but what's he running on there? Linux?

It's a good idea to teach him about safe surfing and Shmiras Einayim. He'd probably outsmart any filter either way.


Yes. He needs the values. I just listened to a shiur from Rabbi Moshe Taragin on YUTorah...let me see if I can find it...https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/1017408/rabbi-moshe-taragin/sichat-mussar-for-vayishlach-intellectual-curiosity-dangers-of-insularity/ This might work, depending on where you're coming from. Still thoughtful listening.

There was an essay on Cross-Currents some years ago about tech policy in DL schools that also might be helpful.

Does his school have any policies? Any kind of programs? There are so many angles to tackle this from. What I suspect might work the most is that setting up gedarim is something thinking Jews do. Other people too, but we do have inyanim like shmiras einayim and bitul zman.

Yes, it's terrible if kids see things they shouldn't, whether accidentally or because they're going behind our backs. But if they understand our principles, they will respect us for them and beH own them themselves. Hatzlacha!
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:17 pm
believe22 wrote:
Good for you for being proactive here! I would first suggest limiting him to devices that CAN be filtered and protected. Replace the raspberry pi with something flashier that he’ll want to upgrade to.

Engage the geekiness is another way -as opposed to random web searching, get him a TI-84 python calculator and have him program it. Buy him a VEX robotics kit and have him write programs and automate it. If he’s in love with programming, engage him positively in a real course-there are many online options. Finding him an internship or mentor who has a good balance in terms of internet safety is a great idea as well.

I know getting rid of the rasp pi is ideal, but right now I'm not sure if I should push that. I'll consider.
Thank you for the suggestions. I'm not familiar with TI-84 python calculator- is that something he can program with python? Last year we hired a young frum man to teach him Python. It was a great experience for him and I was so happy for him to have a frum role model in this area instead of turning to online sources.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:18 pm
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
Is the computer accessible only in a public place (ie family room)? That's step one!

Also a good point! He created his own "laptop" with the raspberry pi, so technically it's portable, but I'll see if I can work on this point.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:22 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Agreed to filter the router.

He's not gonna give up on the pi, but what's he running on there? Linux?

It's a good idea to teach him about safe surfing and Shmiras Einayim. He'd probably outsmart any filter either way.

Yes, I think this may be the best answer for at least short term, to filter the router. I tried to do this in the past but was unsuccessful. I'll look into it again.
He has Linux on the pi, so as far as I know there aren't any filters compatible with it. And anyways, that would only encourage his hacking skills. I'm sure he could outsmart any device-specific filter.
I think you're right that I need to focus on safe surfing and Shmiras Einayim education.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 12:23 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Yes. He needs the values. I just listened to a shiur from Rabbi Moshe Taragin on YUTorah...let me see if I can find it...https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/1017408/rabbi-moshe-taragin/sichat-mussar-for-vayishlach-intellectual-curiosity-dangers-of-insularity/ This might work, depending on where you're coming from. Still thoughtful listening.

There was an essay on Cross-Currents some years ago about tech policy in DL schools that also might be helpful.

Does his school have any policies? Any kind of programs? There are so many angles to tackle this from. What I suspect might work the most is that setting up gedarim is something thinking Jews do. Other people too, but we do have inyanim like shmiras einayim and bitul zman.

Yes, it's terrible if kids see things they shouldn't, whether accidentally or because they're going behind our backs. But if they understand our principles, they will respect us for them and beH own them themselves. Hatzlacha!

Thanks so much for the shiur link- I'm going to check that out asap!
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:28 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’ve been grappling with this issue for a while now. My son is still a preteen, but he is a complete computer geek and very computer literate; way above his age. My problem is, how do I keep this kid safe from internet dangers? No filter will work for this kid. Also, he has a raspberry pi computer and as far as I can tell, there are no filter options out there for that. Please correct me if I’m wrong!
Another concern is- when I try to explain to him the need for a filter he says that’s only necessary if you’re looking for something bad. I told him no, even good adults need filters because if you mistype something, you can accidentally be exposed to filth. He is a good kid and I do trust him that he wouldn’t look for bad. I also worry that if he perceives I do not trust him, that is opening the possibility of him desiring to explore more.
Sorry so long, but if you have a highly tech-literate teenager/preteen, how do you effectively keep your child safe without breaking that bond of trust?
I wish we could go back in time to a generation where this was no concern…


Web chaver has an option where the email address "buddy" of your choice gets an email listing of every single website visited by the device.
Even if he rejects filters, thats a good thing to have in place.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Fri, Nov 19 2021, 1:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes, I think this may be the best answer for at least short term, to filter the router. I tried to do this in the past but was unsuccessful. I'll look into it again.
He has Linux on the pi, so as far as I know there aren't any filters compatible with it. And anyways, that would only encourage his hacking skills. I'm sure he could outsmart any device-specific filter.
I think you're right that I need to focus on safe surfing and Shmiras Einayim education.

Maybe challenge him to create his own filter, using one of the publicly available blocking lists? He can do it as a vpn or whatever other options are available on Linux.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:14 pm
Thanks, Papaya and Little Neshamala. I’ll have to look into these options as well.
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:18 pm
Op the only solution I’ve found for this was no more WiFi in the house. We got unlimited data on our phones and tether when we need it. Not ideal but not worth taking chances.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:29 pm
amother [ Lightcyan ] wrote:
Op the only solution I’ve found for this was no more WiFi in the house. We got unlimited data on our phones and tether when we need it. Not ideal but not worth taking chances.

Thanks, but this is not an option as we both work from home.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:50 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks, but this is not an option as we both work from home.


Also, he'd find a way.
Getting rid of the computer would create a tremendous void; you'd need a plan in place to fill it.
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:55 pm
Can you just buy him Windows so he’s using that instead of Linux?
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amother
Dustypink


 

Post Sat, Nov 20 2021, 9:58 pm
My high tech kid is using webchaver, including the filter option. I don't know if it's available for the router- we just have it on his devices. We find it to be best for a couple reasons. First, it doesn't slow it down- a lot of filters are VPN's that really slow things down or make the devices work harder, which does not work for a kid like this- it's a major reason to resent having a filter. Using Webchaver, it trains him into accountability for the future. And we emphasized that this is a system used by a lot of adults too. The only negative is that the filter option doesn't have a lot of specificity to it- it has two options for levels.
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