Ur Boring | Imamother

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:08 am

Ur so boring
So so boring

U hardly sit down
next to me
to just chat
Most times when I talk
you start singing leaving
my sentence unfinish —
And sometimes ur singing
so loud I have to
YELL FOR U TO HEAR ME
Ur so boring

U prefer to
Sit with ur phone
all day
Message or watch
Cooking shows or scroll
through creativity blogs
who cares it’s all
just watching
No talking
I want to go out and
Laugh
Have fun, kick balls,
climb walls and
Connect
Ur so boring

U hardly spend time
with Baby
But that’s expected when u
Hardly spend time
with me
Ur so boring

I don’t think five minutes have
Ever passed without u
Picking up ur phone
Ur so boring
So so boring

I feel like two
Cents
When I’m hardly spoken to
When I feel like my words
Mean nothing to you
I feel boring
So so boring

U used to go out
And chill
With girls and some guys
Like Leah and Mendy
And Ari and others
But hardly now
With me
I feel boring
So so boring

U went to gun ranges
And movies and Starbucks
And Dunkins’
And 7/11
And sat by water
Doing nothing just
Connecting
But hardly ever
With me it makes me feel
Boring
So so boring

U used to call them
Share feelings
Be vulnerable
Want them, need them
But with me u lock up
Hardly share ur thoughts
Ur past
I feel boring
So so boring

Most times I wish
I weren’t married to u
I wish we were
boyfriend and girlfriend
A secret relationship
Because stolen waters
Are sweet and addictive
And then it would not be
Boring
So so boring

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:59 am

Dandelion21 wrote:

Hugs ♥️

Hugs back! Honestly - pls understand that poetry is a real expression of tough emotions! It comes across harsher then it really is.

And writing is my free, safe and healthy therapy. Once I wrote that poem, I had the strength to approach my DH and discuss it with him in a way that wouldn't hurt them.

All's nice and fine in the world of marriage and 'unboringness'!

Thanx tho!

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 9:49 am

Zehava wrote:

Seems like a whole lot of shared history there!

Do you mind clarifying what was meant when you wrote this? Coz I'm taking it in two ways! Do you mean that you can relate? If yeah - I'm glad and if I can be of further comfort or whatnot, let me know. If you mean that I shared a lot, poetry always has deeper meanings and besides, no identifying details have been shared!

Real life is boring though. Which doesn’t mean it can’t be loving, safe, and connected. Do work on that. Together.

Lol! So, okay - as written in an above post - poetry is my way of doing healthy free therapy and so it comes out much stronger and exaggerated than the actual situation. I have plenty of special quality fun and homemade creative activities with my DH. I had to write this out to get it off my chest and, once it was out there, It was easier for me to see what reality vs feelings actually was and discuss it with my DH.

Real-life is faaaaaarrr from boring. I have real happiness, genuine love, and unending joy and purpose in every second of every second. I, neither my DH would ever go back to our singles 'OTD' life!

Zehava

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 10:29 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

By shared history I meant you and dh and the history you share. I can imagine that compared to your current life it was as you say “forbidden waters taste sweet”. Just more exciting.
Even if you wouldn’t go back to it I’m sure the contrast comes up for you at times and that’s okay. It’s okay to acknowledge.

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 12:22 pm

Zehava wrote:

By shared history I meant you and DH and the history you share. I can imagine that compared to your current life it was as you say “forbidden waters taste sweet”. Just more exciting.
Even if you wouldn’t go back to it I’m sure the contrast comes up for you at times and that’s okay. It’s okay to acknowledge.

thanx for clarifying - yes yes yes... It sucks that stolen waters are sweet... and yes - we do have a shared history... tho we never crossed paths during that time thank God... I will never have that enjoyment of stolen waters ever again. I'm beginning to learn how to enjoy the things allowed and not seek that thrill of doing something wrong. I remind myself how the insecurity and distrust of stolen waters felt so much worse...

Thanks so much!

Zehava

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Have you tried sharing these feelings with him? Just the general part of it not to make him feel
Like he’s not enough. Vulnerability and shared experiences are what builds connection.

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:41 pm

Zehava wrote:

Have you tried sharing these feelings with him? Just the general part of it not to make him feel
Like he’s not enough. Vulnerability and shared experiences are what build connection.

Thanx. My Dh and I are super close and have no problem sharing that with him. I did. It still won't give me stolen waters. We are that couple that knows each other's passwords.... Trust me - we know every single thing about each other.

Honestly, I wrote that poem before I shared with him these feelings. I only posted it now but it's a few months old that poem. I've long since moved on! DW!