Therapist for chasidish 17 yr old girl Rockland county

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Olive

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 11:59 am

Ruth Saperstein is great

amother

Sienna

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

ok.
so I didn't communicate this well
let me try again

my concerns about my daughter are

she gets extremely irritable when facing any decision - she is very indecisive
even if me and husband tried separately sorting it through she just walks off in the
middle of convo and says forget forget it I hate to think I hate to decide

she snaps at her siblings instead of having civil convos

she blows her tops at a whim

she has a very low self-esteem

much as she tried she cannot get herself to stick to a diet and then she hates her body image and lack of clothing choices

Seems like typical teen behavior. Is she your oldest?

Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 22 2021, 8:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:17 pm

she's my oldest daughter

she told me

'I need therapy'

more than once

if not therapy - how do I deal with all this - ignore?

amother

Leaf

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

she's my oldest daughter

she told me

'I need therapy'

more than once

if not therapy - how do I deal with all this - ignore?

If she wants therapy, find someone good and send her. Asking for recommendations is a really good start.

You don't have to justify yourself to any poster here.
It's reasonable for people to ask what it's for, so they can give appropriate recommendations. It's not reasonable for them to ask you more and more questions and then tell you that your dd doesn't actually need a therapist.

Your daughter is very lucky to have you.

ShishKabob

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:22 pm

Please don't take this the wrong way. I think that maybe the key is getting help for yourself. Learn how to do active listening, learn not to take whatever she does or says personally. Practice thinking about her in a positive way. Point out her good qualities to yourself and to her. Tell her that you are here to help her or and that you are here for her when she needs you. No one can replace you as the mother, not the best therapist in the world. And know that she's not a finished product, she is a work in progress. The most important thing is for you not to deal with her in anger. If you have something to say to her you can say it in a non confrontational, non angry way. It will make her more receptive to 'hearing you out'.

Otoh, I don't know if you're seeing anything alarming or something that is telling you that there's something off. What you described sounds pretty teenage normal to me, unless I'm missing something.
Lot's of luck and hatzlocha!!

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:22 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I was like this (I had a little bit of anxiety and depression) my parents sent me to therapy (cuz had another minor issue going on with a sibling) and I didn’t talk. I just sat there for session after session keeping my mouth shut. I actually talked once to get a “doctors note” to get me out of something for school but that was me just being manipulative. Eventually I grew up, matured and bh very happy and adjusted 10 years later.(very happily married with kids etc) Is till struggle with anxiety and now I go to therapy. I also had a loss of parent a few years ago so I started before they died to deal with my thoughts. But that was my decision to go and I wanted to work on myself and become a better person.
I don’t know how excited your daughter will be about therapy. If she is not willing it won’t necessarily be helpful

ShishKabob

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:24 pm

Now I see that she asked you for therapy. That's a whole different ball game unless she said it sarcastically.
If you do get her therapy, make sure that it's someone that shares your values and your outlook in life.

amother

Phlox

Wed, Nov 24 2021, 12:27 pm

Start with a clinic- Bikur Cholim or Daas.

I think it’s a great idea and can be helpful for her to help articulate her goals and have support through this hard age.

You don’t have to have ‘major problems’ to go to therapy!

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