They don't know who Chaim Walder is

amother

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:18 pm

My kids don't live in Israel and we don't own any of his books. I may have one people speak in the basement somewhere. I'm sure they have read something of his at some point but it's not a name they would recognize who think about. (His materials are not used in our schools either, I've asked the school about it after this all came out).
They don't have access to media, but all over my feeds everyone is posting these pictures of their garbage bags and how they explained it to their kids.
My kids are 2-9 do you think I should tell them about it?
We speak to them often about private parts and that no one can touch or look or ask for vice versa of anything like that. I'm not avoiding the topic, when something came up in our community we talked about it.
I'm wondering if I should tell them about this?

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:21 pm

My kids are the same age and I have no plans to say anything. I don’t think they’ve ever read his series. If they hear about it in school and ask me about it I’ll talk a bit about safety and w/e but I don’t see a reason to bring it up.

amother

Daphne

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 1:44 pm

I'm planning to just throw out the books and leave it at that.
If they ask me, I'll tell them that he was found to be not as frum as he makes himself sound and rabbanim Said to throw out his books.
I live in America, so not in the thick of things.

Ps. The name is Walder not Waldner

tp3

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:03 pm

I did although we don't own his books, my kids have read them. I felt I should be consistent in my educating them about s-xual abuse, so that they see it should be taken seriously and be aware next time they come across one of his books. I don't see the point in keeping them in the dark only to have them come tell me this "news" once they hear of it.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:03 pm

If you want to teach your kids about personal safety, then teach them about safety in general.

No need to bring up anyone's specific name. They need to know that anyone can be dangerous, even if he has a kippah and a beard.

They need to know how to judge someone by their actions, and not by how they look. If the nice looking person wants your kid to get in their van to help them find a lost puppy - the kid needs to tell them "Let me get my mom to help you, I'll be right back!"

This literally happened to DD when she was 6. In broad daylight, two doors down from our house. I popped my head out and you've never seen a car pull away so fast in your life. Faster than I could get the license plates down.

I called the police to report it, and put the word out around the neighborhood. It turns out that he'd been targeting other kids in the neighborhood as well, both girls and boys, some as young as 4 years old. Mad

That summer ALL the moms were on the front porch when their kids were out.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:11 pm

Are Rabbinim really saying to throw them out? I'm trying to keep out of this topic in general. Not planning on telling my husband or kids (I think it's Lashon Hara, we have no access/exposure to him to make us need to know) but we do own and enjoy several of his kids books and I was going to keep it that way. I was going to let them read them the same way they read secular books which are written by who knows who...

amother

Daphne

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:24 pm

amother [ DarkMagenta ] wrote:

Im not questioning your judgement, but I just want to comment on the last part of your post.

You seem to imply that reading a book by a possible pedophile who Is "frum" is no worse than reading secular books written by random secular authors who we nothing about.

I disagree with that fundamentally.

One of the hallmarks of our gedolim is the fact that we hold them to a much higher standard than the average person. This is true about anyone in a leadership position in the frum world. Someone who is presented as a master mechanech who we trust to instill values and morals consistent with Torah into our children had better be "tocho keboro" (same inside as outside.). Children don't view secular authors the same way.

(However, even in the secular world, people who are in any way famous or influential are held to a higher standard because people look up to them.)

amother

Green

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 2:35 pm

Is this for real??
Why would you tell them about someone they don’t even know?

My kids have his books. I’m not saying anything. They’ve enjoyed good stories. No need to tell them that the author might have been a bad person. They will never have anything to do with him anyway.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 5:24 pm

amother [ Daphne ] wrote:

We never thought of him as a Gadol or a master mechanech. He was an author nothing more. Are all frum authors gedoliom or master mechanchim? He knew how to write a good story that my kids enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy, very much. Zeh hu. He was never idolized or thought of as more than an author.

PinkFridge

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 6:02 pm

amother [ DarkMagenta ] wrote:

No, he makes his living writing about people at their most vulnerable, through his story anthologies and feelings books. I'd have a hard time reading his books if it's proven that he's exploited this very demographic.

amother

Daphne

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 8:43 pm

amother [ DarkMagenta ] wrote:

It is my understanding that in charedi society in Israel, he was more than just an author. His books were in the bestseller list numerous times and he is considered Israel's most popular author of kids books, or something to that effect. He also received some type of award for being a child Defender. No, he was definitely thought of as more than "just an author." He was a celebrated author and icon for hundreds of thousands of kids from all of the world..

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 9:14 pm

The reason why I'm considering talking about it is because I'm concerned it'll be discussed at school and I want them to have a better perspective than the other kids are likely to share. At the moment I'm waiting though...

sneakermom

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 9:28 pm

I mentioned it off hand like current events. My youngest is ten though. I want them to know that molesters exist and it’s not taboo to talk about it. Life is meant to be processed. Shocking things happen sometimes. And we will all survive. Especially together.

PinkFridge

Sun, Nov 21 2021, 9:34 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

You can ask an educator in your school what they think. At this point, your kids are sleeping, I assume. See what happens tomorrow, and be prepared to really listen to the kids tomorrow and then answer any questions. Hatzlacha!