Ben and batsheva divorced

nicole81

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:05 am

amother [ Petunia ] wrote:

My husband’s family is MO, and according to them any family where the wife wears a wig and the husband wears a black hat on Shabbos is a Yeshiva family.

Lol and we're MO, I wear a sheitel, and my husband wears a black hat on shabbos. But because of the ridiculous generalizations and misconceptions about modern orthodoxy, depending on my audience and my patience in the moment for dispelling myths and explaining our practice, I might tell some people were jpf or left wing yeshivish.

These boxes are ridiculous.

allthingsblue

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:06 am

Stonewash, there was absolutely nothing mean about her post. She’s entitled to her opinion, and she is always respectful of other people. You’re the one who is acting mean by anonymously name calling.

And I happen to disagree with fmt4- by signing up for Netflix, the family is welcoming the attention.

I also disagree with the op- there’s no kiddush hashem, and it’s so yentish and pathetic to dissect every post and comment.

I am happy for Ben though, because the family seemed to be getting waaaaay to kardashian like, and that’s not healthy for anyone.

fmt4

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:12 am

amother [ Stonewash ] wrote:

because she is one of the meanest posters here. Always mocking everyone. (Well, anyone to the right of her which seems like most of this board)

Seriously? If you have a problem with me, don’t say it anonymously. Pathetic.

And in regards to the question of why I’m getting so worked up - just because people put themselves in the position for their lives to be picked apart, doesn’t mean that YOU need to be the person to do that. It doesn’t make you a good person, in fact it usually derives from your worst impulses. There is never a good excuse to be gossiping and tearing apart people’s lives; it always has a bad effect on the person who is doing it- it makes you a more cruel and less sensitive person. It’s important to remember that no matter what, these people are still human beings, and they still feel pain and hurt just like anyone else. No one deserves to be picked apart like that, and EVEN if they do, why would YOU want to be the person to do it?
Be better, even if they don’t deserve it.
(Of course, this doesn’t apply to monsters like chaim walder, though I feel like the same people who gleefully bash Batsheva and Ben would probably defend him. )

Last edited by fmt4 on Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:16 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:14 am

lol the speculation on reddit is that he is gay and that's the reason for the split

most likely has to do with being married to a crazy family (batsheva seems ok but her mother makes the kardashians seem well adjusted) or julia and miriams pressure to dump him, then anything frum related. If he cared about frumkiet he would have left long ago....

I actually think they probably where going to split before the show but convinced him to stay and divorce between seasons to up the drama factor and payed him nicely for it.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:18 am

fmt4 wrote:

Seriously? If you have a problem with me, don’t say it anonymously. Pathetic.

And regards to the question of why I’m getting so worked up - just because people put themselves in the position for their lives to be picked apart, doesn’t mean that YOU need to be the person to do that. It doesn’t make you a good person, in fact it usually derives from your worst impulses. There is never a good excuse to be gossiping and tearing apart people’s lives; it always has a bad effect on the person who is doing it- it makes you a more cruel and less sensitive person. It’s important to remember that no matter what, these people are still human beings, and they still feel pain and hurt just like anyone else. No one deserves to be picked apart like that, and EVEN if they do, why would YOU want to be the person to do it?
Be better, even if they don’t deserve it.
(Of course, this doesn’t apply to monsters like chaim walder, though I feel like the same people who gleefully bash Batsheva and Ben would probably defend him. )

Um literally the point of a reality tv show is to create sensation and gossip. The more we gossip the more chatter picks up online the better for the show. It isn't assur according to hilchos loshon hara , and it is very different then gossiping about your neighbor...

Signed amother who really tries to be careful about who and what I talk about

fmt4

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:25 am

amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:

Well you should try harder. Believe me, G-d is not proud of you for this. He isn’t saying - well these people were on a reality show, so your loshon hora about them is actually a mitzvah! Good job!
As someone who knows them, these are two (very nice) people, who are in pain and hurting right now. You’re not a mitzvah girl by gossiping about them. Don’t deceive yourself. What you’re doing is mean. End of story.

amother

Azure

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:36 am

amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:

Definitely agree !!!

100% a really hard family situation to be part of - he seemed to be struggling with all of it so glad he's finally able to leave...

amother

Mint

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:49 am

fmt4 wrote:

Their being in pain doesn't justify the chillul hashem they made when bashing and shaming orthodox jews on unorthodox

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 8:49 am

fmt4 wrote:

If you know them then ask them if it bothers them that people talk and speculate about them.

It is literally the point of a reality tv show. They are supposed to be outrages so that people get hooked by the drama and hate watch. They are doing a very good job of it.

If they don't lie it they really need a career change. Its like someone who hates blood becoming a surgeon.

I never said it is a mitzvah - just that it isn't assur according to hilchos lashon hara.

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 9:36 am

amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:

There are separate halachos for being on a reality show?

amother

Stonewash

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 9:36 am

fmt4 wrote:

Be better, even if they don’t deserve it.
(Of course, this doesn’t apply to monsters like chaim walder, though I feel like the same people who gleefully bash Batsheva and Ben would probably defend him. )

so firstly, I deleted my post because as you pointed out here, I’m better, even if you don’t deserve it. And secondly, THIS RIGHT HERE is what I mean!! Why are you looking to put down many in klal yisrael? Label them as Chaim Walder defenders?!? Make nasty assumptions and conclusions based on your hatred?

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 9:49 am

amother [ Acacia ] wrote:

Maybe it was for the show
Maybe not
I do feel bad for them bec in their earliest years they looked so happy and they gave so many years of history.

Batsheva is playing it up. When you have images of crawling into bed sad for an Instagram post. It means you propped the camera and prepared and preformed for it. That didn’t sit well with me that it was a prepared sad post.

Crawling into bed with freshly straightened hair..

amother

Cognac

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 9:55 am

amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:

Youre right.

But in truth she has shamed and misrepresented the frum lifestyle, and us all like were all nutso fundamentalists, throughout the world, more than anyone I know, maybe slightly less than the OTD characters who wrote their salacious books.

she did misrepresent the frum community, and did pretend they're more "chassidish type" than the actually are, but are you calling chassidim, nutso fundamentalists now? How you talk reflects on how you think. and maybe she thinks that Monsey yeshivahs type is nutso fundamentalists. How about that? Everyone has got their own nutso fundamentalist.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 10:09 am

amother [ Stoneblue ] wrote:

There are separate halachos for being on a reality show?

There are separate halachos for publicly known information

II. Already Publicized

The arguments are strong to permit repetition of damaging information that is already well known. R. Yisrael Meir Kagan, in his classic work on the laws of forbidden speech, Chafetz Chaim, repeatedly states this leniency explicitly:

In explaining the Talmudic statement that you may call someone a sinner if he violates a rabbinic prohibition (Shabbos 40a), the Chafetz Chaim (part 1, ch. 4 n. 7) asks how we can permit such a blatant violation of lashon ha-ra. He answers that this must refer to someone who violates the rabbinic prohibition publicly. Because such a violation is well known, the prohibition of lashon ha-ra does not apply at all to the information.
Similarly, the Talmud (Pesachim 112b) tells how R. Yehudah Ha-Nassi referred to residents of one town as “scoffers.” How, the Chafetz Chaim (ibid., n. 41) asks, can such a negative declaration be permitted? He answers that since their behavior was well known, one is entirely permitted to discuss it.
Similarly, in explaining the view of Tosafos, the Chafetz Chaim (ibid., ch. 2 n. 1 in parentheses) states that when one person publicly berates another, you are allowed to relay that information because lashon ha-ra does not apply to it.
In explaining the view of Rabbenu Yonah, the Chafetz Chaim (ibid., ch. 3 n. 12) suggests that the case in which he permits repeating negative information is one in which the action was done publicly, so the information is already publicized.
The Gemara (Gittin 31b) tells how either Rav Huna or Rav Chisda refused to rise when the Torah scholar Geniva passed, failing to show him respect. He explained to his colleague that Geniva caused fights among scholars and therefore was unworthy of such respect. The Chafetz Chaim (ibid., ch. 8 n. 16 in asterisk), troubled by the negative speech, explained that Geniva’s trouble-making actions were widely known and therefore the criticism was permitted.

The conclusion jumps off the page that repeating widely know information does not fall under the prohibition of lashon ha-ra.

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Nov 22 2021, 11:33 am

amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:

Then why were people saying talking about Walder was lashon hara?