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Vent: Aaarghh! Why are family get-togethers so stressful?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Nov 22 2021, 5:32 pm
We haven't had the family chanukah party and I'm already dreading it and how it's going to go. Dh is excited and thinks it's going to be great fun (he's more of an extrovert and I'm not). They've decided to do an adults only party in honor of fil's birthday, so we need to find a babysitter. And because sil can't come here, we're driving 1 1/2 hours each way as well, and it means I need to find someone who is willing to do suppertime and bedtime because need to leave early enough, and we won't have that long as we need to be back early enough as well.
Sister 1 thinks one thing, the next sister is disagreeing, another pretends she doesn't care and isn't making a big deal but actually is. And they can't agree on how much food or what game to play.
We haven't had all the siblings in one room together for a long time, and it doesn't usually end that well, they end up reverting back into bad patterns with each other. And they'll end up getting my mil worked up over every little thing and it's gonna be a loooong night.
This is a vent as I can't not go and I can't change anyone. Thanks for listening.
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Rubies




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 22 2021, 6:35 pm
Vent acknowledged.
If only family gatherings are always as nice as it could be.

'Tis the season.
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behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 22 2021, 6:40 pm
That's really hard to get a babysitter for chanukah. I never heard of doing it that way.
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amother




Tulip
 

Post Mon, Nov 22 2021, 7:11 pm
Here’s the plan:

Send your husband and you stay home! Say that you just couldn’t find a babysitter but you didn’t want your husband to miss out.

Done! Horribleness avoided! There is no halacha that says you have to enter a torturous situation voluntarily.
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amother




PlumPink
 

Post Mon, Nov 22 2021, 7:25 pm
amother [ Tulip ] wrote:
Here’s the plan:

Send your husband and you stay home! Say that you just couldn’t find a babysitter but you didn’t want your husband to miss out.

Done! Horribleness avoided! There is no halacha that says you have to enter a torturous situation voluntarily.


Literally stole the words out of my mouth!
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essie14




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:29 am
There is literally no way I'd be able to find a babysitter on chanukah.
I'd have no choice but to let DH go alone.
Stay home and watch a movie Smile
Enjoy! LOL
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6000miles




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:52 am
Ugh, these situations are not fun. I agree with the above posters, stay home. You anyways won't enjoy yourself...

Btw, makes me glad I live in Israel, far far away from all my family drama-disfunction
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 23 2021, 5:51 am
If you find a sitter and really have to go, you might want to indulge yourself in a game of Relative Bingo.

For gatherings with difficult relatives, you make a private list of predictions of what they might say or do. Each time one of your predictions comes true, you score a point. Give yourself a special reward reaching for whatever your point goal is.

The idea is, you might not be able to prevent some challenges, but at least you can find some sort of enjoyment from having to encounter them.
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