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My kids are off again today:(
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amother




Lime
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 1:44 pm
amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:
It's very sad that parents don't putting learning Torah first and that they think it is ok to take off from school on non jewish holidays. BH I don't belong to a community that does it. It is very sad to hear Jews do this.


What are you talking about? This is so judgementa!

Perhaps on the road trip to Cleveland to see Bubby they listen to shiurim? Perhaps at a rest stop tatty learns with the kids?

It’s not like they’re going to church on the ‘non Jewish holiday’ spending time with family is valuable too
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amother




Wandflower
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 1:45 pm
amother [ Dimgray ] wrote:
It's very sad that parents don't putting learning Torah first and that they think it is ok to take off from school on non jewish holidays. BH I don't belong to a community that does it. It is very sad to hear Jews do this.


Kids having off Thanksgiving has zero to do with parents not putting torah first. Putting torah first has to come from the HOME and not from the school. For a family that puts torah first, the kids can be home from school every day, and torah will still be first. It comes from the home. It's not the schools responsibility.
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amother




Pistachio
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 1:48 pm
Definitely half day for Thanksgiving. I see zero reason to give Friday off when you're giving Friday and Monday off the next weekend for Chanukah. Do a half day on Friday (except for that situation with the another whose school has to pay to use the building that day )

For people whose schools don't open when there's no busing, do they also have zero school on December 25th and January 1st? Memorial Day, even if Shavuos is close by? Is there any bussing between Dec 25 and Jan 1st?
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amother




Brickred
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 1:48 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
even killed guys have a break.
😳 Yes they do.
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amother




Brickred
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 1:49 pm
I live in Lakewood and my daughters school was off yesterday.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:04 pm
Dimgray: your arguments make no sense and it sounds like you’re not even reading the posts before you attack them.
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amother




RosePink
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:05 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
Kollel guys don’t have off yeshiva week.
It’s succos, pesach and 3 weeks in summer.

The kids have off thanksgiving, Chanukah, and then mid winter week.

For a working paren it’s hard. For most SAHM it’s great.

It really depends on your life situation.

But sometimes I think if a mother is in a situation we’re she doesn’t have to work it’s very hurtful to say why do t ppl want to spend time with their kids.
I’d love to spend time with my kids.

I have few days off I use for yomim tovim. I need to work to eat.
I think it’s hurtful and insensitive to make those of us in this situation feel like we aren’t understanding parents.


Most working parents have today off.
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OK. I guess I'm coming from a different perspective.
I am coming from the perspective that boys need to be trained that every day is a learning day. So even if it's a half day, it's more than worth it if they learn Torah.
I don't care that much about the secular studies and I understand that the non Jewish teachers have off.
But I wonder what kind of message we send to our kids when we take off a day of school because the parents might have vacation. It just really rubs me the wrong way. Especially since we have a new holiday called Black Friday that somehow justifies everything.

(BTW, when the kids are off for YT or chanuka vacation, the school ssns home a chart to mark off for learning and davening.
My boys go to shul to daven and learn on any days they have off. )
It just makes me sad that this is not a priority in my kids school.

Op, I hear your perspective but really it’s so good for the kids and boys to be home as well and spend time with their parents and family. You don’t only need to go to school to learn and daven. You can learn and daven at home and make fun Chanukah projects with your kids.
I think you are placing to much responsibility on the school. You can create a special atmosphere at home. It doesn’t mean it isn’t a priority for your boys school. I wouldn’t conclude that at all. It’s healthy for boys to spend time at home. Make the most of it as a mother.
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:28 pm
amother [ Wandflower ] wrote:
Kids having off Thanksgiving has zero to do with parents not putting torah first. Putting torah first has to come from the HOME and not from the school. For a family that puts torah first, the kids can be home from school every day, and torah will still be first. It comes from the home. It's not the schools responsibility.

This!!
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:33 pm
Tuition is a huge expense. I expect a certain amount of days of school for what I pay. If my kids have off all Jewish holidays, Chanukah break. Midwinter, half days on a fast, it’s excessive to give off legal holidays. I think learning in school is important. I guess I am the only one.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:37 pm
mha3484 wrote:
Tuition is a huge expense. I expect a certain amount of days of school for what I pay. If my kids have off all Jewish holidays, Chanukah break. Midwinter, half days on a fast, it’s excessive to give off legal holidays. I think learning in school is important. I guess I am the only one.

Legally schools need to have something like 180 school days. If they took away these vacation days in the middle, they'd either start later in September or end later in June, or it would be tacked on to a different break. You are paying for the same amount of days it's just how they are spread out.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 2:40 pm
mha3484 wrote:
Tuition is a huge expense. I expect a certain amount of days of school for what I pay. If my kids have off all Jewish holidays, Chanukah break. Midwinter, half days on a fast, it’s excessive to give off legal holidays. I think learning in school is important. I guess I am the only one.


You’re not. OP agrees with you.
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nylon




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:01 pm
Just because school is not in session, doesn't mean a child is not learning Torah. We did things at home. School is 180 days a year; Torah is 365. And a child also learns about the world, that his or her teachers get to celebrate their holidays, and since we live in America, we all have to accommodate each other.

And yes, I do know schools, Orthodox schools, who close the last week of December. They don't all give a Chanukah break either.
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:05 pm
Thanks for everyone's responses.
To the one who said I have a "hard core attitude", maybe you're right. My husband and I are from the "yeshivish" people in our community, and many times the attitude in our community really shocks us. They will cancel a day of learning in the Middle school because the elementary school has a Father and sons program and the rebbeim in the other school are the fathers who need to go learn with their son. So they cancel yeshiva for the middle school!

We are both originally from in town and these Off Days are very disturbing to us, even though we live here more than 20 years.

To the poster who said that the "Torah first " has to come from the home, that's true, but we expect a certain amount of consistency between the home and Torah institutions we send our kids to.

And yes, even during bein hazemanim, kollel guys will learn!! They don't have the same schedule but of course they still learn every day!

And for those who are saying what about yeshiva week, as I said , the school makes sure to send home sheets so the kids can fill out that they davened and learned every day. They don't do that on these random off days. I think that they cancel school because they know they can get away with it. Why do my kids have to be off on Veteran's day?? Who is that helping?

I think the underlying attitudes are just wrong. Torah should be a priority, and it's not. It's not just going to "school."

Sorry if I sound hard core. I'm married to a man who will not miss one day of learning and giving shiurim, and this really hurts him, and by extention, it hurts me.

I often think about the story of Rav Meir Shapiro, who said that his mother cried when the Melamed didnt come one day because it was a day of missed learning.

And I think about the stories of dedicated rabbeim who trudged to yeshiva when school was cancelled due to snow...
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:41 pm
That's weird that your schools are closed on Veteran's Day. Even public schools are open.
I worked in different public schools over the years in oot cities and that was always a regular school day.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:51 pm
OP I can’t relate at all to your outlook or attitude. To me it seems extreme. I personally am looking to raise well rounded children. You’re describing fully formed adults and it’s not a fair comparison
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:55 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
OP I can’t relate at all to your outlook or attitude. To me it seems extreme. I personally am looking to raise well rounded children. You’re describing fully formed adults and it’s not a fair comparison


I object to the insinuation that prioritizing Torah somehow stops one from raising well rounded children. Not even sure where you are coming from.
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amother




Peony
 

Post Fri, Nov 26 2021, 3:57 pm
So if a sheet is the game-changer here, then make your own sheet. Offer your kids a prize. Or even get together with some like minded parents to co-sponsor a learning program with sheets and prizes. Offer to host a group of boys at your home. Enlist your husband to be the melamed for the day. If this really bothers you and him so much, be the change you wish to see.
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amother




RosePink
 

Post Sat, Nov 27 2021, 6:08 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I object to the insinuation that prioritizing Torah somehow stops one from raising well rounded children. Not even sure where you are coming from.


Your rigidity about boys learning Torah might accomplish the opposite of what you want with some boys.
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amother




Obsidian
 

Post Sat, Nov 27 2021, 6:48 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for everyone's responses.
To the one who said I have a "hard core attitude", maybe you're right. My husband and I are from the "yeshivish" people in our community, and many times the attitude in our community really shocks us. They will cancel a day of learning in the Middle school because the elementary school has a Father and sons program and the rebbeim in the other school are the fathers who need to go learn with their son. So they cancel yeshiva for the middle school!

We are both originally from in town and these Off Days are very disturbing to us, even though we live here more than 20 years.

To the poster who said that the "Torah first " has to come from the home, that's true, but we expect a certain amount of consistency between the home and Torah institutions we send our kids to.

And yes, even during bein hazemanim, kollel guys will learn!! They don't have the same schedule but of course they still learn every day!

And for those who are saying what about yeshiva week, as I said , the school makes sure to send home sheets so the kids can fill out that they davened and learned every day. They don't do that on these random off days. I think that they cancel school because they know they can get away with it. Why do my kids have to be off on Veteran's day?? Who is that helping?

I think the underlying attitudes are just wrong. Torah should be a priority, and it's not. It's not just going to "school."

Sorry if I sound hard core. I'm married to a man who will not miss one day of learning and giving shiurim, and this really hurts him, and by extention, it hurts me.

I often think about the story of Rav Meir Shapiro, who said that his mother cried when the Melamed didnt come one day because it was a day of missed learning.

And I think about the stories of dedicated rabbeim who trudged to yeshiva when school was cancelled due to snow...


I really disagree with your very premise.
Emotional health ( and when you have emotional health you can have Torah) comes from the home. It’s so healthy when kids are off and parents bond with them and use the opportunity to nurture them. This is ruchniyus. Not just sending kids to school every day. Your kids will have a stronger sense of ruchniyus with positive feelings from the home and incorporating Torah into your home life. School is there to help with the chinuch of our children but the responsibility to be mechanech their child is on the parent. Instead of being upset, utilize the day to foster connection and nurture your child. This will enhance your child’s ruchniyus long term.
And to the parents who say I pay a lot of money for tuition and so I need a lot of school so I get my money’s worth. School isn’t a babysitting service! It’s a place for you child to learn and grow. It’s ideal for children’s learning and growth to spend time at home and bond with their parents. Accept your responsibility as a parent and don’t shift it onto the school.
May you have much nachas from your kinderlach!
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