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Are we the only ones without a Chanuka Party to go to?
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Poll

Are you a host or a guest at a Chanuka party most years?
yes  
 51%  [ 76 ]
no  
 48%  [ 71 ]
Total Votes : 147


amother




Khaki
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:16 pm
We love the parties but the traveling an hour each way to each of them and its almost every night is a killer!!!
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amother




Sapphire
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:19 pm
We have a shul one today.
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amother




Watermelon
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:23 pm
salt wrote:
That's what I understood a party to mean when I voted 'yes'


I voted no. Going over to a sibling's house for candle lighting and latkes is a nice thing to do, but I wouldn't call it a "party."
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:41 pm
Nope. One son has a class party and we make it fun for the kids but not party people overall. Some years we have a get together with my mother but this year she can’t.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:45 pm
amother [ Watermelon ] wrote:
I voted no. Going over to a sibling's house for candle lighting and latkes is a nice thing to do, but I wouldn't call it a "party."


I think a party is what you make of it.
We go to my sister in law one night after supper and have chips, soda, donuts. The kids shmooze and tge men sing and dance. That's a party.
One night, my siblings and kuds come over after licht for latkes. We call that a party also.
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amother




DarkPurple
 

Post Sun, Nov 28 2021, 1:01 pm
We had one with extended family & one from an organization before Chanukah. On Chanuka none. I try to make my own fun/parties for just my dh & kids during Chanuka.
Special foods. Tablesettings. Games. Activities. Food decorating. Gifts. Paint night.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 7:30 pm
amother [ Red ] wrote:
Am I the only one jealous of OP?
#hateparties
#helpmefindanexcuse
#wishicanskip
#buticant
Why don't you and others want to go?
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DVOM




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 7:42 pm
Zehava wrote:
My kids look fwd to the Chanukah party I do for them all year. Everything else is a bonus and, frankly, a pain in the ****. I only attend to fulfill my social obligations. I’d spend it all just with dh and kids if I had the choice.


Same 😊
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 7:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Why don't you and others want to go?


I worked all day my kids had school I’m tired and really not interested in socializing. Routine doesn’t stop because it’s channukah.
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rainbow dash




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 7:53 pm
I went to one by an organisation in a restaurant the week before chanuka. Tomorrow I'm making for my sil and her 2 kids and my mil. I'm making soup, dinner, and dessert with doughnuts cookies and waffles. Other than that nope. My daughter has 2 or 3 parties. One friend did invite us but I'm not going to take her up on it cause of covid.
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amother




Red
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 8:00 pm
mha3484 wrote:
I worked all day my kids had school I’m tired and really not interested in socializing. Routine doesn’t stop because it’s channukah.

This.
Plus the expectations to make or buy food and help out with the arrangements...
It’s just a headache I don’t need or want but have no choice but to partake in. I can’t be the only family member missing. Not fair to my kids and will look strange to the siblings.
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amother




Currant
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2021, 8:40 pm
No family nearby and my kids are really little so no parties or get togethers at all around here. It's ok though, we play dreidel and dance after menorah before bed and they love it.
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amother




Whitesmoke
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 5:50 am
PSA - it doesn't actually make people feel better to hear that you all have parties to go and don't want to.

Ok, you are not social people. OP is.
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Fox




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 9:01 am
Maybe I'm getting curmudgeonly in my old age, but it seems like Chanukah parties have become more of a "thing,"

People always got together with whatever family lived nearby or maybe had a few friends over. But it was all very low-key and casual. About a decade or so ago, the parties became PARTIES! Lots of guests. Elaborate food and decorations. Gifts for everyone. Drama over who attends or doesn't.

As if there weren't enough family drama over Yomim Tovim and simchas, we've now added Chanukah parties to the list of potential things to make people mad at one another.

Time for some sanity. Sure, invite nearby family and friends over for a casual get-together. But dial down the expense and drama. Mandatory parties aren't the way extended families stay close; day-to-day contact is how people bond. We should focus on ways to connect regularly with far-flung family members. Chanukah parties, whether 2 people or 20, can be return to being fun instead of stressful.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 9:55 am
Thanks for showing the other perspective. If we had many Chanuka parties we would also get tired especially if we had to drive far or had a rough work day, or families were fighting about the day to hold it.
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 10:50 am
BH I have the people in my life but a party isn't happening due to geographic spread. Zoom doesn't seem practical either. We're still having a lichtige week.
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zaq




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 1:15 pm
Fox, it’s all of a piece with the general escalation of material expectations in recent decades. Where a quarter carat was once a fine size for an engagement diamond, 1-2 carats is no longer outlandish. Today’s lechayim outshines yesteryear’s vort, today’s vort rivals yesteryear’s wedding, and today’s wedding is a circus.

Chanukah parties are no different.
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