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Poll

What do you do about candle lighting
Your husband waits for you  
 70%  [ 12 ]
You light on your own when you get home  
 11%  [ 2 ]
You husband lights while you are at work and you do not light on your own  
 17%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 17


amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 1:47 pm
And your husband usually lights for you/the household and you don’t light on your own anyway....
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amother




Clematis
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 1:52 pm
Definitely don't light on my own.
I voted that he doesn't wait, cuz he doesn't necessarily. But if it works for the schedule and I want to be there then he sometimes does.
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amother




Clover
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 7:41 pm
In my case it was dh who worked late, sometimes so late it was early (past mid nite). No way was I waiting for him. I lit myself and set up a second menorah to be ready for him whenever he arrived.

If I was going to be late I would expect dh to light without me. I’m an adult; my mommy lets me light all by myself.
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nicole81




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 7:43 pm
Depends how late we're talking. The latest I get home is 7:30pm, in which case my husband waits and we light as a family and do donut decorating after.

But if I didn't get home until after 9pm, I would have him light without me because I wouldn't want to keep the little kids up, nor would I want them to miss candlelighting.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 7:50 pm
amother [ Clover ] wrote:
In my case it was dh who worked late, sometimes so late it was early (past mid nite). No way was I waiting for him. I lit myself and set up a second menorah to be ready for him whenever he arrived.

If I was going to be late I would expect dh to light without me. I’m an adult; my mommy lets me light all by myself.


From my understanding, the inyan of lighting is for the house, not a chiyuv on the individual to experience the lighting. I was wondering how it played out in actuality in other homes.
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nicole81




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2021, 7:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
From my understanding, the inyan of lighting is for the house, not a chiyuv on the individual to experience the lighting. I was wondering how it played out in actuality in other homes.


We're sefardi and my husband's custom is *only* the head of household lights. We also allow the pre bar/bat mitzvah kids light. So I wouldn't light at all if I came home super late. Even our teen who is dorming this year doesn't light for the nights he's not home, as he's part of our household.
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