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How many times have you stuck your foot in your mouth?
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Never!! |
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3% |
[ 3 ] |
Every so often I try to something nice but it comes out wrong. |
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12% |
[ 11 ] |
A few times a year. |
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12% |
[ 11 ] |
Not so many times but I cringe when I think about them. |
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63% |
[ 55 ] |
I have severe social anxiety because of the times that I've mispoken. |
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8% |
[ 7 ] |
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Total Votes : 87 |
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watergirl


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Tue, Nov 30 2021, 3:03 pm
Yup, too often. It's usually because I speak too quickly so things just come out wrong.
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Rubies


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Tue, Nov 30 2021, 3:10 pm
Honestly, if overall you have a good relationship with the person you said something insensitive to, they'll find it something to laugh about.
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Rubies


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Tue, Nov 30 2021, 3:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Usually it's someone I don't have a relationship with. It will be someone knew or someone I haven't seen in ages and I'll be searching for something pareve to talk about. When its someone you're close with, you already know what are awkward things to say. |
Yeah but that's fine too mostly. If you don't know me and you say something that happens to be hurtful due to knowledge you don't know about me, it isn't hurtful either.
It's the in-betweeners and it's the 10%.
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FranticFrummie


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Fri, Dec 31 2021, 8:02 am
Two times stick out in my head the most.
The first one was at camp. A friend of mine asked to borrow a pair of shorts. I was a size 10 at the time, and she was a size twelve. 9 year old me said "These should fit you, they're HUGE on me!"
The poor girl looked like she was going to burst into tears, and I had no idea why. My mom was a plus size woman, and fat shaming was never a part of our home. How was I to know that my friend was very sensitive to her size? I was just socially clueless about it. I apologized my head off, but she couldn't hear it. I still feel bad about it, even though it was completely innocent.
The second time was when I saw someone I know get out of her car. I hadn't seen her in a while, and I wished her b'sha'a tova. She laughed and said "That was 3 months ago, but thanks!" and turned to get her baby out of the car. I wanted the pavement to open up and swallow me.
Then she said "I just still look pregnant, I need to work on that." Bless her for being so kind about my blunder. If she were a different person it could have hurt her deeply, but she knew that I had good intentions.
Now I never wish anyone b'sha'a tova unless 1. I know them very well, and 2. They look like they are going to deliver RIGHT NOW.
Lesson learned. People have different views about their bodies. Do. Not. Comment.
PS: If a friend loses a lot of weight, do not tell her how pretty she is, or how healthy she looks. Someone said that to a friend of mine who had lost 100 pounds, and my friend replied "What, as opposed to how ugly and sickly I was before?" (She's not usually so snappy, but I guess it just caught her in a sensitive spot.) I made sure to tell her that she looked really happy, and I was glad that the relationship with her new boyfriend seemed to be working out so well.
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chanatron1000


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Fri, Dec 31 2021, 8:21 am
amother [ Carnation ] wrote: | Get real. Everyone sticks their foot in their mouth sometimes. The only people who never do are mute.
And different people react to things differently. If I lose weight, you bet your boots I want people to notice and tell me. No, I don't want them to tell me I look relaxed and happy and ask if I got a boyfriend, I want them to tell me I look slim. |
It's still overall inappropriate to comment on someone's body, even if you like it.
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