Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Reading Room
Theres ladies in this weeks Mishpacha
  Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Daisy


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:34 pm
amother [ Daphne ] wrote:
Me too. And the letter in the Mishpacha about treating your husband as a king. Another plug for the surrendered wife. I was so irritated by the letter and the article.

Like a King [Inbox / Issue 886]

I am writing in response to Rabbi Shafier’s comments about hierarchy in marriage.

Rabbi Shafier insinuated that in these times we need to do things differently, even if it’s less than ideal. That concept baffled me. People, circumstances, times, struggles and cultures may have changed. But the way the Ribbono shel Olam designed a marriage to work and function at its best did not.

Having struggled like so many for so many years and having come to a beautiful harmonious marriage “the old-fashioned way,” I feel qualified to speak about this issue. Putting our husbands on a pedestal, giving utmost respect (which all women think they do, but most men admit to feeling disrespected), and most importantly, following the Rambam in his specific guidelines, is a great formula. The Rambam writes (siman chaf) that a woman must respect her husband tremendously and with his fear upon her she should fill his every word. He continues that she should see him as a sar melech, fulfilling all his desires and distancing whatever he dislikes. That is the way of the Jewish marriage and such a marriage is pleasant and praiseworthy.

What is most interesting is that after I implemented this method, my husband and I now have that “best friends” relationship you speak of. There is a misguided notion that this method creates a shmatteh of a wife, and she is resentful, and it doesn’t work. What I (and thousands of other women) found was that when they let go of control, and fully respected and treated their husbands like their melech, only then did it become his utmost desire to complete her happiness (because happiness has to first be created by her, within her) and to want to spend more time with her. As a result, she in turn feels like his queen.

There are many frum certified people that specialize in this training, and having tried so many “conventional” other approaches, I now have a better understanding of why they never worked or helped. Following the Rambam is clearly the only way to achieve this because that’s how Hashem created man and women to become and feel like one.

May all couples experience only harmony and joy.

I was honestly wondering if this letter was actually penned by a male. It didn't come across as authentic to me.
Back to top

amother
DarkGray


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:36 pm
amother [ Daphne ] wrote:
Me too. And the letter in the Mishpacha about treating your husband as a king. Another plug for the surrendered wife. I was so irritated by the letter and the article.

Like a King [Inbox / Issue 886]

I am writing in response to Rabbi Shafier’s comments about hierarchy in marriage.

Rabbi Shafier insinuated that in these times we need to do things differently, even if it’s less than ideal. That concept baffled me. People, circumstances, times, struggles and cultures may have changed. But the way the Ribbono shel Olam designed a marriage to work and function at its best did not.

Having struggled like so many for so many years and having come to a beautiful harmonious marriage “the old-fashioned way,” I feel qualified to speak about this issue. Putting our husbands on a pedestal, giving utmost respect (which all women think they do, but most men admit to feeling disrespected), and most importantly, following the Rambam in his specific guidelines, is a great formula. The Rambam writes (siman chaf) that a woman must respect her husband tremendously and with his fear upon her she should fill his every word. He continues that she should see him as a sar melech, fulfilling all his desires and distancing whatever he dislikes. That is the way of the Jewish marriage and such a marriage is pleasant and praiseworthy.

What is most interesting is that after I implemented this method, my husband and I now have that “best friends” relationship you speak of. There is a misguided notion that this method creates a shmatteh of a wife, and she is resentful, and it doesn’t work. What I (and thousands of other women) found was that when they let go of control, and fully respected and treated their husbands like their melech, only then did it become his utmost desire to complete her happiness (because happiness has to first be created by her, within her) and to want to spend more time with her. As a result, she in turn feels like his queen.

There are many frum certified people that specialize in this training, and having tried so many “conventional” other approaches, I now have a better understanding of why they never worked or helped. Following the Rambam is clearly the only way to achieve this because that’s how Hashem created man and women to become and feel like one.

May all couples experience only harmony and joy.


Yes. I read that and put the magazine down.
Maybe they have some nice articles but I didn't bother looking anymore.
Idk if they published it for the fun of it or they agree with the letter writer.
I feel like there is nothing to read in the heimishe world.
Everything is so cliche and repetitive.
There is no more creativity and no mind of their own.


Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 22 2021, 9:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
DarkGray


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:38 pm
amother [ Daisy ] wrote:
No, but they are taking their cue from "radicals" or whatever term you prefer. What they assume to be the bottom line of $
Anyone remember the Q&A a couple years ago at the Agudah convention where this question came up for Rabbi Brudny and Rabbi Lopiansky--the moderator was clearly trying to get them to commit to a no photos of women stance = mesorah, and they just wouldn't go there. They kind of danced around the subject too with vague "people have different standards" but no mention of halacha or chumrah. They definitely didn't say there was a problem with photos, they laid it at the feet of a business decision due to unnamed unidentified "people" not a single community or Rav.


But it also sounded like they were watching their backs because they knew they were being recorded.


Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 22 2021, 9:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother
Daisy


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:42 pm
SafeAtLast wrote:
But it also sounded like they were watching their backs because they knew they were being recorded.

Definitely and they didn't want things taken out of context. However, these are two extremely respected rabbanim in the yeshivish world (and they've both been published in Mishpacha) so I believe if there was a true halachic explanation or precedent for this ban coming from the "yeshiva world", they'd have spoken up and put it out there, "feminists" be d*amned. People in their community would have accepted such a ruling from them. The fact that they didn't proves this ban has no connection to the yeshivish world anyway other than maybe a very few individuals.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:57 pm
SafeAtLast wrote:
Yes. I read that and put the magazine down.
Maybe they have some nice articles but I didn't bother looking anymore.
Idk if they published it for the fun of it or they agree with the letter writer.
I feel like there is nothing to read in the heimishe world.
Everything is so cliche and repetitive.
There is no more creativity and no mind of their own.


I don’t remember the article in the FF but the inbox letter I just brushed aside. The Mishpacha is the only chareidi magazine with both perspectives which is why I subscribe. (The new column by Rabbi Shafier is getting pushback precisely because it’s uncomfortable for some readers.)
Back to top

amother
Daisy


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:00 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
I don’t remember the article in the FF but the inbox letter I just brushed aside. The Mishpacha is the only chareidi magazine with both perspectives which is why I subscribe. (The new column by Rabbi Shafier is getting pushback precisely because it’s uncomfortable for some readers.)

Right, Mishpacha does print letters on opposite sides. Sometimes it's annoying to read but at the end of the day it opens up a debate and a chance for people to get an idea of where others are coming from and understand a bit about the opposite POV, which is a good thing. Sometimes it's even caused me to change my own opinion on various issues or articles.

That said, I still don't buy the letter quoted above as being written by a woman. It reads as a man trying to come across as a woman-- just has a fake tone.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:03 pm
amother [ Daisy ] wrote:
Right, Mishpacha does print letters on opposite sides. Sometimes it's annoying to read but at the end of the day it opens up a debate and a chance for people to get an idea of where others are coming from and understand a bit about the opposite POV, which is a good thing. Sometimes it's even caused me to change my own opinion on various issues or articles.

That said, I still don't buy the letter quoted above as being written by a woman. It reads as a man trying to come across as a woman-- just has a fake tone.


Could very well be!
Back to top

amother
Daisy


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:37 pm
amother [ Grape ] wrote:
I'm probably in the minority here but one of the reasons I don't like Mishpacha is because they aren't ideological . I can respect a newspaper like Der Yid not having pictures of women and I can respect a magazine like The Jewish Action that does. It the magazines like Mishpacha that are making their decisions based on money rather than any real haskafa that I don't respect.

I also dislike that Mishpacha is not upfront about what they believe. They have a lot of subtle brainwashing but they rarely openly acknowledge their views.

You can bet both the magazine you mentioned are catering to their clientele. Der Yid has no chance of attracting an MO readership so it makes no sense for them to try to appeal. They can't afford to lose their main audience when there is almost zero chance of breaking into another demographic. Same for the Jewish Action just in the opposite direction. I'd argue that Mishpacha (and to a lesser degree Ami) has the most diverse readership across the Orthodox world and they only want to expand it.
All of the magazines are the same when it comes to the bottom line, don't kid yourself.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 2:35 pm
I just skimmed the At His Will article (I had skipped over it- I guess I skip articles that don’t hold my interest). What was so bad about it? It basically said women have voices too and should use them.
Back to top

amother
Ruby


 

Post Sun, Dec 05 2021, 5:49 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
I just skimmed the At His Will article (I had skipped over it- I guess I skip articles that don’t hold my interest). What was so bad about it? It basically said women have voices too and should use them.

I also skimmed and thats how I read it as well
Back to top

LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 3:05 am
allthingsblue wrote:
I just skimmed the At His Will article (I had skipped over it- I guess I skip articles that don’t hold my interest). What was so bad about it? It basically said women have voices too and should use them.


It literally said at the end that women should be soft and sweet.

I don't think my DH would like me that way. I'm loud, spunky, and have a lot of opinions.
Back to top
Page 6 of 6   Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Reading Room

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Mishpacha Double Take
by amother
58 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:37 pm View last post
New to Mishpacha, catch me up
by amother
94 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:56 pm View last post
Cookie corner hamantash recipe, mishpacha jr
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 7:12 pm View last post
Gown gemach for ladies
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 12 2024, 10:17 am View last post
Baby flips over at 3 weeks
by amother
4 Fri, Mar 08 2024, 11:02 am View last post