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amother

Babyblue

Sat, Dec 04 2021, 8:49 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

Her husband's will was basically a promo for Laura Doyle and No was about a mother cutting contact with a child.

Disagree about No.

She didn’t cut off contact. She refused to attend her daughter’s intermarriage.

amother

DarkGray

Sat, Dec 04 2021, 8:55 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Disagree about No.

She didn’t cut off contact. She refused to attend her daughter’s intermarriage.

She clearly says she cut off contact and wouldn't even talk to her on the phone after when her daughter called.

Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 15 2021, 4:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Oak

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:49 am

GLUE wrote:

While I can understand if the main magazine has no pictures of ladies.

I don't understand why the women's magazine does not. I don't like it when they have an article about a Rebitzien and they have a picture of her husband and son but no picture of her or her daughters. If you can't put a picture of the Rebitzen don't put any pictures of the family.

I totally agree. I have been subscribing Mishpacha magazine for many years. When I read about a special woman, Rebitzin, or someone that influences great Chesed, A great teacher or mechaneches, or history of a great woman, I always wish there would be maybe a headshot or outline of how she looks. Im not interested at all, how her husband, father or sons looked like. They dont belong in the article, period.

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:56 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

The article about the nursing home.

I was annoyed about the articles "Her husband's will", and "No" in the battle cry series in the Family First.
It felt like one step forward 2 steps back.

Omg those were horrible. I actually read out parts of her husband's will to my MIL on shabbos and she is so confused about this generation.

She was like when I was taught in very yeshivish By schools 20 years ago we were never taught any of this stuff about being quiet, sweet, silent, that women should negate her feelings and opinions or that tzniyus is because men can't control themselves, etc.

I was telling her also about the recent thread where someone asked about gemrahas view on women and I said so many yeshivish and chassidish people there thought that the gemraha is as holy and kadosh as the Tanach and things are taken at face value.

She was very surprised by this. Shes like the gemarah itself says not everything is taken at face value, and there's of course a difference between gemarah and Tanach in terms of what is directly Hashems word and ratzon.

My FIL who is a Rav agreed as well. He said it's sad what's being taught nowadays and people are taught not to look, learn, or think. This was not the yeshivish world 20 years ago.

Also No was horrible too but I didn't get around to discussing it with her.

LovesHashem

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 1:58 am

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Disagree about No.

She didn’t cut off contact. She refused to attend her daughter’s intermarriage.

Her daughter was crying on the phone asking to speak to her on her wedding day. Her mother yelled no and hung up on her.

There's a difference between not attending and refusing to speak to your child.

In addition the entire essay implied she would have no contact with her daughter from the moment she married a non jew.

happyone

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 2:06 am

Who cares?
Yes ladies , no ladies. I dont get the drama. Every publication has a right to their own guidelines. You don't like or agree with it, dont subscribe. There's reading options out there for everyone.

amother

Oak

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 2:12 am

happyone, I love Mishpacha Magazine, and read it from cover to cover. Yet, (Im chassidic) I wud love to see the profile or headshot of famous women being interviewed or highlighted. It doesnt warrant stopping my subscription, but if the management reads IMAMOTHER, perhaps they can alter their policy. Problem is, RADICALS ARE VERY VOCAL!!!

annalee

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 6:39 am

When more people cancel their subscriptions because there AREN’T women than cancel them because there ARE, the policy will change. The end.

sushilover

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 7:06 am

SafeAtLast wrote:

The article about the nursing home.

I was annoyed about the articles "Her husband's will", and "No" in the battle cry series in the Family First.
It felt like one step forward 2 steps back.

I'm a surrendered wife fan, and I absolutely hated the "Her Husband's Will" article. It was frankly idiotic. What a waste of space.

amother

Grape

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 7:48 am

amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:

I was telling her also about the recent thread where someone asked about gemrahas view on women and I said so many yeshivish and chassidish people there thought that the gemraha is as holy and kadosh as the Tanach and things are taken at face value.

She was very surprised by this. (1)Shes like the gemarah itself says not everything is taken at face value, and (2)there's of course a difference between gemarah and Tanach in terms of what is directly Hashems word and ratzon.

(3)My FIL who is a Rav agreed as well. He said it's sad what's being taught nowadays and people are taught not to look, learn, or think. This was not the yeshivish world 20 years ago.

Also No was horrible too but I didn't get around to discussing it with her.

(1)Where is that alleged Gemora?

(2)Can you elaborate on the difference? In what way can something written in Gemorah not be considered directly Hashems word and ratzon? Please give sources for what you saying

(3)WADR to your FIL, in my experience the type of people who say such things are usually the super arrogant "I know and understand everything" type of people who equate not thinking like them with not knowing how to look, learn, or think.

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 8:03 am

amother [ Grape ] wrote:

(1)Where is that alleged Gemora?

(2)Can you elaborate on the difference? In what way can something written in Gemorah not be considered directly Hashems word and ratzon? Please give sources for what you saying

(3)WADR to your FIL, in my experience they type of people who say such things are usually the super arrogant "I know and understand everything" type of people who equate not thinking like them with not knowing how to look, learn, or think.

1. You want the source? All she said was the it's says the Tanach is meant to be taken at face value and also on a deeper level. Gemarah is not necessarily meant to be taken at face value. I know from hearing from DH and other men there's lots of mashals, and other things in the gemarah, and clearly it's not all supposed to be taken at face value.

2. I honestly don't have sources. This was a shabbos afternoon chat not a class. She said there's a difference in the Written and Oral Torah, and how they are examined and taken. Probably she was talking about point 1. - where not everything is taken at face value. You can't just rip out a line from Gemarah and say this exact line is what Hashem wants me to do. You have to look the commentary, and speak to your Rav.

3. You are completely misunderstanding the context. I mentioned these topics, and in addition added how many people are ignorant about the differences between halacha, minhag, chumrah, etc - I constantly see people posting how no one needs to know and we can just ask a man, and information, and studying, and learning how halachos work, and how minbhagim came to be is wrong even.

I said how people are taught if you ask questions you are a kofer, etc. And he responded that's very sad. That's not how Hashem meant for Torah to be, and the world was not like that 20 years ago. End of conversation.

I wrote a quick summary and did not write for word what was said because I didn't realize people were that interested in my in laws opinions LOL

amother

Daisy

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 10:17 am

annalee wrote:

When more people cancel their subscriptions because there AREN’T women than cancel them because there ARE, the policy will change. The end.

The fact that Mishpacha has been trying to start putting in pictures for the last year or two shows that it's getting to that point.
Also, I don't think it's really the subscribers they are worried about. I think it's from the advertisers.

amother

NeonYellow

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 10:22 am

amother [ Daisy ] wrote:

Personally I don't subscribe - used to for several years but got sick of certain things, this being one of them.

rikkik

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 10:59 am

Oorah used to have pictures of women in their chinese auction booklets. They made a business decision to stop including pictures of women in order to cater to the growing Chassidishe community.

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 11:04 am

Honestly, this is a long time coming.
We need to WAKE UP, as a community. This whole “mesorah” of not including women’s faces in our publications is not a Torah value. It’s extreme censorship and simply a byproduct of cultural conformity. People love to disguise it as a beautiful sensitivity and Chumrah, but we need to open our eyes and see it for what it is. Like other posters were saying, not including girls and women in frum magazines is doing more harm than good. Forget about the fact that in this age of confusion and darkness, we need positive role models that we can actually SEE and relate to. And more than that, this omission of our faces is sending a detrimental message to everyone at large. That women are inherently s*xual beings, and even looking at a completely tsnius girl or woman can cause a man to have impure thoughts. This isn’t a Torah concept. The Torah wants women to have a voice, we are people too. There are very few people I’ve spoken to (and I’m including very chassidish here) that actually agree with this route that has unfortunately been taken. I think most of us want to see this change occur. Hopefully the tides will continue to turn, bezras HaShem.

amother

RosePink

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:12 pm

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

What does Chassidish have to do with it. I don’t look to you as my frumkeit role model just because you’re Chassidish.
You’re also clueless. The people who run mishpacha and their vaad harabanin are the furthest thing from radical. You have no clue

Pandabeer

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:23 pm

I'm horrified - let's make a protest ! Let's boycott Mishpacha! Their trying to make us sin....our husband astray....

amother

Daphne

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:28 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

The article about the nursing home.

I was annoyed about the articles "Her husband's will", and "No" in the battle cry series in the Family First.
It felt like one step forward 2 steps back.

Me too. And the letter in the Mishpacha about treating your husband as a king. Another plug for the surrendered wife. I was so irritated by the letter and the article.

Like a King [Inbox / Issue 886]

I am writing in response to Rabbi Shafier’s comments about hierarchy in marriage.

Rabbi Shafier insinuated that in these times we need to do things differently, even if it’s less than ideal. That concept baffled me. People, circumstances, times, struggles and cultures may have changed. But the way the Ribbono shel Olam designed a marriage to work and function at its best did not.

Having struggled like so many for so many years and having come to a beautiful harmonious marriage “the old-fashioned way,” I feel qualified to speak about this issue. Putting our husbands on a pedestal, giving utmost respect (which all women think they do, but most men admit to feeling disrespected), and most importantly, following the Rambam in his specific guidelines, is a great formula. The Rambam writes (siman chaf) that a woman must respect her husband tremendously and with his fear upon her she should fill his every word. He continues that she should see him as a sar melech, fulfilling all his desires and distancing whatever he dislikes. That is the way of the Jewish marriage and such a marriage is pleasant and praiseworthy.

What is most interesting is that after I implemented this method, my husband and I now have that “best friends” relationship you speak of. There is a misguided notion that this method creates a shmatteh of a wife, and she is resentful, and it doesn’t work. What I (and thousands of other women) found was that when they let go of control, and fully respected and treated their husbands like their melech, only then did it become his utmost desire to complete her happiness (because happiness has to first be created by her, within her) and to want to spend more time with her. As a result, she in turn feels like his queen.

There are many frum certified people that specialize in this training, and having tried so many “conventional” other approaches, I now have a better understanding of why they never worked or helped. Following the Rambam is clearly the only way to achieve this because that’s how Hashem created man and women to become and feel like one.

May all couples experience only harmony and joy.

amother

Daisy

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:32 pm

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

No, but they are taking their cue from "radicals" or whatever term you prefer. What they assume to be the bottom line of $
Anyone remember the Q&A a couple years ago at the Agudah convention where this question came up for Rabbi Brudny and Rabbi Lopiansky--the moderator was clearly trying to get them to commit to a no photos of women stance = mesorah, and they just wouldn't go there. They kind of danced around the subject too with vague "people have different standards" but no mention of halacha or chumrah. They definitely didn't say there was a problem with photos, they laid it at the feet of a business decision due to unnamed unidentified "people" not a single community or Rav.

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Dec 05 2021, 12:33 pm

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

She is talking about the people who write in to protest. Not the admin.

Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 22 2021, 9:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

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