My 5 year old never cleans up-update pg 6

Zehava

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:05 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

No thanks to you. You gave me a complex and I was actually less clam around her after this thread. However, all those posters saying that IT'S OK to lock up most toys.. It was swimming in my head. The empathy and the permission and me just being able to recover from the negativity here is what got me to that place.

I'm being Dan Likaf Zechus that you meant well but you caused both me and my daughter damage.

If it’s that easy for you to be damaged then you shouldn’t be posting. I speak up for kids. I’m not a therapist under contract to always be empathetic and take the side of whoever is posting.

gonewiththewind1

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:23 pm

Zehava wrote:

If it’s that easy for you to be damaged then you shouldn’t be posting. I speak up for kids. I’m not a therapist under contract to always be empathetic and take the side of whoever is posting.

If you're not a therapist, stop diagnosing people.

amother

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:29 pm

Zehava wrote:

If it’s that easy for you to be damaged then you shouldn’t be posting. I speak up for kids. I’m not a therapist under contract to always be empathetic and take the side of whoever is posting.

I posted because I needed help. You say you speak up for kids but the kid isn't here. The mom is. And here when you damaged the mom, who takes care of the kid, you damaged the kid. So are you really helping anyone? Or hurting? If you don't want to take responsibility for your damage own it. But don't fly under the disguise of an angel.

gonewiththewind1

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Don't wait for an apology. She doesn't know how to.

amother

Steelblue

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:31 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I have a college student who comes for 2 hours on Sunday morning and cleans up all my kids toys from shabbos which is when they get the messiest and also helps with chores that are too hard for me like taking out heavy garbage bags, some sweeping and vaccuming. My energy levels are fine but I have joint issues and really cant bend down. Its a lot cheaper then paying a cleaning lady. I can clean things at my height like kitchen counters, bathroom sink etc but the bending over just does me in.

How did you find her?

amother

Freesia

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Beautifully said. And we’ll done on locking those extra toys away. I agree that toy rotation is the way to go.

Zehava

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oh I’m no angel. There are no angels here. Only people. And this person here speaks up for kids who aren’t.

gonewiththewind1

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:39 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

Don't wait for an apology. She doesn't know how to.

I told you so.

amother

Freesia

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:40 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

I told you so.

It’s ok. Op doesn’t need her apology. She needs the rest of us to remind her of the truth, that she’s a great mom because she’s looking out for her kid and doing the best she can with the resources she has.

amother

Freesia

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:43 pm

Zehava wrote:

Oh I’m no angel. There are no angels here. Only people. And this person here speaks up for kids who aren’t.

Oh but you’re not. The way to speak up for kids is to strengthen their moms so they can care for them as best as they can. You tried to tear this mom down. No way did you have her child’s interests in mind.

amother

Jasmine

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:46 pm

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

I do think OP needs to know that we/I think that Zehava’s posts were incredibly mean (In fact I think she’s one do the meanest posters around lately) and that she’s beIng gaslighted.

amother

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:47 pm

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

Not only that. Her lack of apology speaks for itself. Do you know how many ppl here liked her hurtful responses? Hopefully ppl will think a little bit longer next time before hitting that like button.

BH at this point I am ok, but then when I was being vulnerable it really put me in a spin for a good few days or more... When you are being vulnerable and someone uses that vulnerability to hurt you...

Rubies

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you find a post hurtful, it helps to imagine it coming from someone irl that you would take everything that person says with a grain of salt. It helps with taking a step back and not being as vulnerable.

amother

Freesia

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:51 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Posts with outlandish comments tend to get the most likes. I’m not sure why. Lots of us have your back. Hug

amother

Freesia

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:52 pm

Rubies wrote:

That’s a great idea. It’s hard not to let them get to you though. Especially when like op said the comments get lots of likes.

amother

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:52 pm

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

Posts with outlandish comments tend to get the most likes. I’m not sure why. Lots of us have your back. Hug

That really means a lot. Thank you. And yes, I thin you're right. I did notice that in general. Thanks for the reassurance.

dena613

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:54 pm

Rubies wrote:

That's true, but ppl also have to think twice before posting...
Is what I'm saying constructive? Will this be helpful or hurtful?I
This is written communication. We can't HEAR the way the words are being said (typed), so we have to double-check that it's not coming across too harshly.

OP, rooting for you!!! Very Happy

amother

Lightcyan

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:55 pm

I think that’s a great plan. A lot of us do have your back. I think you are doing a phenomenal job given your difficult circumstances. Some people are rude and mean here and I try to remind myself that it’s because they are broken and it’s not about me. Don’t let them get to you.

dena613

Sat, Dec 11 2021, 10:57 pm

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

That’s a great idea. It’s hard not to let them get to you though. Especially when like op said the comments get lots of likes.

One more thing:

Some times PART of the post is true and appropriate.
Like the first response in page1- the end of the post is okay. So maybe ppl were responding to that part when they liked it.
Not to the whole post .