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Consequence for kids who break house items
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jewishmom6




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 12:49 pm
amother [ Carnation ] wrote:
I had a similar child. Took all my energy out of me. I found a behavioral therapist that worked with us on strategies and ideas that work for our lifestyle. Within a few months I am living a different life.

You can look him up on LinkedIn he posts a lot of articles there. His name is Yisroel Wahl and he works in person or over zoom.


I have seen his articles.
I just looked him up and see he posted tons of videos. I will start listening. Thanks!!!!
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SuperWify




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 12:51 pm
You can’t punish a child for breaking something.

Read how you talk to little kids. Every week read one chapter plus review the past chapters. Spend the week internalizing the chapter. Read the next one... When you finish the whole book start again and again and again until it’s second nature.

That’s what worked for me.

I’m currently reading The Explosive Child and I’m going very very slow.
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amother




Carnation
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 1:43 pm
momsrus wrote:
Thank you for this info. Can you share more info. Sounds Interesting. Or can u pm me.


Sure. I PMed you.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 2:34 pm
I have taken so many courses and read so many parenting books. The one approach that finally worked with my explosive child was the Nurtured Heart Approach. My kid was transformed within weeks. I highly recommend it.
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 5:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I have a kid with some issues, nothing diagnosed, in therapy.

He does things like kick holes in bedroom walls.
I can't stand the way it looks and the lack of privacy, but dh doesn't want to redo walls because kid will just do it again.

Kid just cracked something (after repeated warnings) that is worth $13.

I asked him to pay.

He did, but he doesn't even care (age6-8) and it's all his money!!!

What should I do????

Alright.

Why's he doing this?
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banana123




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 5:19 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Another question:

Should I enroll this kid in Occupational Therapy? Would t that help with impulsivity and anger management?

So far he's in social work kind of therapy, and therapist gives me a few tips here and there, like make sure to point out his strengths

Why ever not? If you can, do it. It won't hurt and may very well help.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 11:03 pm
Thank you, everyone!!
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 11:04 pm
banana123 wrote:
Alright.

Why's he doing this?


Boredom

Attention seeking
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 11:05 pm
Will try to put as many recommended books as possible on hold at my library

Will look into yisroel wahl. I hope I don't need instagram to watch the videos... Have Instagram, but have access to youtube
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amother




Steel
 

Post Mon, Dec 06 2021, 11:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I put those books on hold.

Mha, you're an amazing parent.

I think I'm just too lazy. Too lazy to get up and say let's put on coats and walk around the block. too lazy not to just scream and threaten.. Sad
I really need to work on this.
It's so hard.

Thank you all posters (so far), for your kind, helpful, and compassionate responses. I appreciated them all!!





Waiting for the nasty imas to come out of the woodwork and scream at me to stop being abusive and pull myself up many my bootstraps!!! Confused



Op I feel you.
I'm having the sa,same, struggles. My kid breaks stuff and is out of hand often. Rages. Ignores me. Tells me "I fif u!"

I find that yelling escalates the situation. Yelling messes with their thinking.
Same with threatening.

It's not easy to change. I'm not lazy.
I'm exhausted. I'm overwhelmed and I'm not physically very capable at this point. 😪 probably won't be for another 12 months or so.

But I decided to put a stop to it.
Actually today I said enough is enough.

I started just being quiet peaceful and intentional.
I got up. I did what I had to, no yelling. No threatening. Just went about my day peacefully. So far so good
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amother




DarkGray
 

Post Tue, Dec 07 2021, 1:11 am
You're describing my child a few months ago. We are doing "Brainstorm". I didn't think we saw much progress, but when I saw your post now I realized that we didn't have household damage in a really long time b"h. If you're in Monsey look into Mrs. Mertzbach.
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