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Psa for moms with teenage daughters
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If you went to BY was it easy for you to change pad/ take care of your menstrual cycle?
Yes  
 57%  [ 119 ]
No  
 42%  [ 87 ]
Total Votes : 206



amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:39 am
I grew up and went through the BY system. There was not one pad/ tampon / sanitary napkin in the building. There were no trash cans in the bathroom stalls. If you somehow managed to sneak one I to the bathroom there was no where to dispose of the old one. I wore one pad all day until I got home 8-9 hours later. I had recurrent yeast infections which I am sure was related to this.

Please make sure your kids have what they need at school and a proper way to dispose of it. Please make sure they have access to basic feminine products. Dont ignore it just because it uncomfortable for some people / institutions to acknowledge this.
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amother
Lightgray


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:41 am
Girls should always keep some pads in their knapsack. I don't think it's the norm for schools to supply pads or tampons. Though there should be trash cans in each bathroom stall.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:43 am
I went to BY and never had an issue. I always kept extra pads on me and didn't expect the school to provide it. There were trash cans in the bathroom. If someone got stuck with an unexpected period, I'm sure they can ask the nurse or office for one. But you should bring your own. You can always keep a spare in your locker or knapsack. Just like I don't expect my work to provide tampons/pads for me.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:45 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I grew up and went through the BY system. There was not one pad/ tampon / sanitary napkin in the building. There were no trash cans in the bathroom stalls. If you somehow managed to sneak one I to the bathroom there was no where to dispose of the old one. I wore one pad all day until I got home 8-9 hours later. I had recurrent yeast infections which I am sure was related to this.

Please make sure your kids have what they need at school and a proper way to dispose of it. Please make sure they have access to basic feminine products. Dont ignore it just because it uncomfortable for some people / institutions to acknowledge this.

I’m sorry this was your experience, it sounds awful and embarrassing. This is not something BY specific though, this is something specific to the school you went to. My BY had pads and tampons available in the office if you needed. The secretary was awesome, and you could totally ask and receive what you needed with discretion. There were hanging garbage cans in every stall in bathrooms on all floors.


Last edited by Ema of 5 on Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:45 am
That's sad. My daughter's school (chabad not BY) has separate bathrooms for the older girls, and a supply box thing with pads. Garbage cans too.
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OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:49 am
observer wrote:
I went to BY and never had an issue. I always kept extra pads on me and didn't expect the school to provide it. There were trash cans in the bathroom. If someone got stuck with an unexpected period, I'm sure they can ask the nurse or office for one. But you should bring your own. You can always keep a spare in your locker or knapsack. Just like I don't expect my work to provide tampons/pads for me.

I don't think OP is saying that the school needs to provide all the pads and tampons for student's needs, but just saying they should be available in the building. Every school I've attended, which were non-Jewish public and private, and every workplace I've ever worked has at least had vending machines with pads and tampons in restrooms.
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:52 am
I told my daughter that if there’s no garbage can in the school bathroom she should wrap the old pad in the new plastic plus tissues and tuck it into her pantyhose
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:56 am
amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:
I told my daughter that if there’s no garbage can in the school bathroom she should wrap the old pad in the new plastic plus tissues and tuck it into her pantyhose


Yuk! Just wrap everything up nicely in the wrapper and a tissue and throw it into the nearest trash can. No one looks at a wad of tissues.

And if your daughter's school doesn't have garbage cans in the bathrooms, go to a hardware store, buy a few, and bring them over to the school yourself.
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:57 am
When I was on elementary/jr hi, my school instituted"jr high bathrooms"
Those stalls had garbage cans.

HS had garbage cans in individual bathrooms.

I'd surreptitiously stuck a pad from my backpack into my waist/tights and go to the bathroom.

Yesterday, as a teacher,I took a pad while girls were getting ready for recess, and stuck it between my papers on my way out to the bathroom

I DO want to donate (maybe today!!!) some small pads to the teacher bathrooms in my school.
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amother
Lightgray


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:59 am
OOTforlife wrote:
I don't think OP is saying that the school needs to provide all the pads and tampons for student's needs, but just saying they should be available in the building. Every school I've attended, which were non-Jewish public and private, and every workplace I've ever worked has at least had vending machines with pads and tampons in restrooms.


I'm sure the office/nurse in every school has pads if the girls need.
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:59 am
amother [ Nasturtium ] wrote:
I told my daughter that if there’s no garbage can in the school bathroom she should wrap the old pad in the new plastic plus tissues and tuck it into her pantyhose


If there really are no garbage cans in stalls, donate them and speak for the principal.

That's how my school got "jr hi bathrooms"- the mother of the most physically mature girl instituted it.
Obviously it wasn't announced, but there were rumors.

Very very right wing (chassidish type) school
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:01 am
amother [ Lightgray ] wrote:
I'm sure the office/nurse in every school has pads if the girls need.


Sadly no! Not a BY, small Jewish school. My mom called the office when I got my first period. They told me to use the staff lavatory and I'd find a pad. I found a pantyliner. Turns out, very different.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:02 am
I just discussed this with a neighbor.
I went to a chassidish school.
I needed to change every hour or I leak. Sometimes I'd leak anyway. The garbage was beyond the washroom. I was a super skinny kid, no place to hide a pad.

They had commercial p,umbing systems, and I knew it can handle pads (plumber relative lol) I would pile pads in my panty before school, pull off the top and flush my pads down. Later I would just use the staff bathrooms. There they had shelves to store stuff, I sneaked in a big cosmetics bag with my stuff. Put it between all the staffs cosmetics bags. They also had a bathroom there and a sink.

Tough luck.

It's close to 2decades later and I was horrified to learn they STILL don't have trash cans in the stalls.
Some kids would wrap their and leave it in the stalls. Gross, but I totally understand them.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:05 am
OOTforlife wrote:
I don't think OP is saying that the school needs to provide all the pads and tampons for student's needs, but just saying they should be available in the building. Every school I've attended, which were non-Jewish public and private, and every workplace I've ever worked has at least had vending machines with pads and tampons in restrooms.


Exactly. I fully understand that it is not their job to supply these items but they should be on hand and available to students if they need them and the students should know that it is available.
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SG18




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:06 am
There were garbages in the stalls at my BY. We all had pads or tampons in our bags. If someone didn't have, she'd ask a friend. Not such a big deal.
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amother
Wandflower


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:09 am
If there's no can in the stall, there's one in the main bathroom. If not, where are people throwing paper towels? So you wrap it in toilet paper and take it out of the stall held in your hand, and that's it. Or you donate cans, as said above.

I don't think it's ok for there to be a school nurse and for her not to have anything. If so, again, donate a pack. Honestly, often the bugger issue for girls is when they need to change often or get surprised and their teachers don't allow a bathroom break. Any teacher would allow knowing why, but who wants to say? Many girls are embarrassed simply by the question "Does it have to be right now?"
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:24 am
The Secratary at my coed highschool had coins for the sanitary vending machine.
Please buy some wastebaskets for the school. You will be doing a huge Chessed for a generation.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:32 am
So sad. My DDs learned about periods in 5th grade. The assistant principal taught a class, tzelem (which was 1xper week 5-8th grade), where they learned about changing bodies, touched on intimacy 8th grade, not 5th) but not too much detail, self esteem and self respect, friendship, hygiene, and safety (and some other topics). At some point showed them pads and tampons and they used water to see how they work. In the 5th grade bathroom and in the middle school building bathrooms, there are garbages in every stall and an assortment of pads and tampons under the sink in all bathrooms.
HS also had garbages in every stall and supplies under the sink.

I am so sorry for your experience.
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:34 am
amother [ NeonOrange ] wrote:
So sad. My DDs learned about periods in 5th grade. The assistant principal taught a class, tzelem, where they learned about changing bodies, touched on intimacy but not too much detail, self esteem and self respect, friendship, hygiene, and safety (and some other topics). At some point showed them pads and tampons and they used water to see how they work. In the 5th grade bathroom and in the middle school building bathrooms, there are garbages in every stall and an assortment of pads and tampons under the sink in all bathrooms.
HS also had garbages in every stall and supplies under the sink.

I am so sorry for your experience.


Sounds like a good class that comes at a good time!
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:35 am
I know there are garbage cans in the bathrooms in the high school my girls went to. Plus, there was always a student or two who had a "gmach" in her locker as a Chessed. Girls knew they could take if needed.

Last edited by Chayalle on Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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