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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
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 Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:48 pm
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has this happened to anyone else here?
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Lilkingdom
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:53 pm
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how old is your ds and your neighbor's ds? Was it more like an innocent child's play or did he know what he was doing?
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grin
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:55 pm
oh no!
Last edited by grin on Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Clarissa
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:57 pm
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Without knowing the ages of the children and the nature of the molestation, it's difficult to comment. Assuming we're talking actual molestation and all of the parents know, the obvious next step is therapy for the children. For your son, you need to find out if he's ever been molested and if he has touched other children, so their parents can be informed. Intensive therapy, for all involved.
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:58 pm
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don't know, but he was being aggressive also - he's 10 and the other kid is 7. I'm so scared about him.
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 12:59 pm
You need to get him immediate help !
I know s/o who this happened to and they got social services involved.
It can be his saving grace for the future to stop it from happening again!
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Lilkingdom
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 1:02 pm
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What exactly did he do? Were they just fighting & he didn't concentrate what he did or did he do it on purpose?
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 1:07 pm
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he dragged the other kid to the backyard and told him to pull down his pants while he held him tight and then touched him all over - that's what the other kid said. my ds only admitted to holding him tight and playing that he was a robber.
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 1:51 pm
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I always wondered where are the people who will help the abusers. David Pelcowitz and other experts will speak about abuse and how to protect your children but noone ever says what to do if you're the parent of the abuser so I feel for you....I wouldn't believe people who say it can't be cured, but no one will tell you how to deal with it, they'll only shun you, so I don't have any good ideas but do feel for you too, not only the abused child. Please let me know what kind of help you find... Good luck......
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 1:55 pm
op I think you should find out if this ever happened to your son
I believe a person that abuses usually was abused so check that out
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Lilkingdom
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:30 pm
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op, find out where he got these ideas from! if a friend told him about it then make sure he cuts off connection with that person. Or as the poster above wrote, check out if someone ever did this to him & he was copying. I'm pretty sure he didn't just dream all this up, someone must have introduced him to this.
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Barbara
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:37 pm
First, calm down. It is entirely possible that the other boy is fabricating this. I also think that there is a certain amount of natural curiousity, in the manner of *playing doctor* which could be taken for something more nefarious.
One way or another, though, I think that you need professional help, and you need it fast. Contact your pediatrician *immediately* for the names of child psychologists, then start calling them. Try to get an appointment today or tomorrow, in light of what may be an emergency situation. I'm not sure that this will particularly help if the other parents choose to contact the Dept of Childrens Services or to otherwise press charges against your son, but it cannot hurt to demonstrate that you are taking these claims very seriously.
In the meantime, make sure that your son knows how very much you love him, and that he knows that the love is unconditional -- if he did something wrong, you'll help him not to do it again, but it will not affect the way you feel about him, he'll always be your beloved son. OTOH, frankly, keep an eye on him. Its obvious that you should do that if he's with other kids, under the circumstances. But even alone, if he did do this, he may feel such remorse that he attempts to harm himself. As to other adults, well, as others have pointed out, this may well be a sign that he has been molested himself, so keep a close eye there as well.
My heart goes out to you and your family, as well as the other boy's family, at this difficult time. My prayers will be with you.
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chaylizi
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:38 pm
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yes I agree with the above. ideas like these don't show up in a vacuum. you need to take care of your son- so that no one touches him inappropriately & he doesn't do so to anyone else.
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lamplighter
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:40 pm
he needs therapy. u should be in touch with experts in this field, perhaps ohel can hep u or MASK?
You should also b in touch wiht neighbor and help them get help. this is a huge responsibity that u carry but it can b deat with and should b taken car of immediatly.
hugs!!!
I hope imamother and ur family can b or true support here, u definitly need it!
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:46 pm
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well, for now he's run away from home. I only hope the other family hasn't scared him away for the whole night.
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chaylizi
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:48 pm
| amother wrote: | | well, for now he's run away from home. I only hope the other family hasn't scared him away for the whole night. |
are you worried about where he is? or do you think he'll be back later?
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Lilkingdom
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:51 pm
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runaway as in disappeared without telling you? he's only 10, if that's the case then you should get a search team looking for him!
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:52 pm
| chaylizi wrote: | | amother wrote: | | well, for now he's run away from home. I only hope the other family hasn't scared him away for the whole night. |
are you worried about where he is? or do you think he'll be back later? |
I'm not so worried about where he is as with whom and how he's feeling about himself right now. I'm so scared and upset; at least as much as my friend is! At least she knows where her children are and what to do about it, but she thinks its' incurable.
I don't think Ill be able to sleep a wink tonite.
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amother
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Thu, Apr 24 2008, 2:54 pm
| happymom@last wrote: | | runaway as in disappeared without telling you? he's only 10, if that's the case then you should get a search team looking for him! |
I'm not sure it would work that way around here. and then if it would maybe social Services would take him away from home?
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