Twists and Ties by Rachel Schorr

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:33 pm

Can we discuss this book?

If you haven't read it yet, please be aware that I'll mention story plots.

For the record, I want to say that I really enjoyed the book. However, there are things that disturbed me and would like to discuss with other readers.

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:37 pm

What is with all the secrecy?

Can parents just invite people to stay at a married couples house without telling them who they are and why they're coming?

And I understand that it was never the right time to tell Devory she's adopted, but honestly, the parents let her get married, have 4 children and still never told her?

Throughout the entire novel, everyone kept surprising her and not preparing her.

Do these things actually occur in families? I'm not sure if all this secrecy was exaggerated to make the story more interesting or people actually keep such secrets from others.

I, for one, couldn't live with all this secrecy and drama

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:46 pm

Devorys mother, whom she idolized, falls very short of her duties. Besides for totally not supporting Devory at all at this traumatic time in her life, she contributes to a complete breakup between Devory and her adoptive family by keeping it secret that her father helped them throughout with expenses - she could have helped dissipate Henny's anger by explaining the real situation by being more honest. Instead, she wimps out, goes along with selling her house behind Devorys back and clearly showing Devory she's only a commodity for support ND chessed

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:48 pm

And, then there's Devorys new family.....

They enter her life at random, turn her life upside down and start criticize and demanding....starting from the father to Tanta Mirel to Bina....

And the rest of the family doesn't act very welcoming at all...

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:53 pm

And, then, there's the father....

Where to start- pushy, demanding...

He meets his daughter with 4 children and proceeds to want to remake his Israeli functional daughter into his rich selfish, spoiled American children. He arrives into Devorys apartment and c decides she needs to move and change her whole lifestyle without giving her a choice in the matter and can't understand why she's not jumping for joy.

And, more than that, he now decides he's doing a FAVOR to a Devorys by giving her the mitzvah of kibud hoirm by foisting the stepmother Tante Mirel on her to take care for life since his other children don't really like her.

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 6:55 pm

And why, in heavens name, was Devory not allowed to spend the Shiva days grieving?!?

Why was she required to attend family meetings, shop for water, help Aunt Mirel in the hospital...why couldn't they respect her right to grieve for the person she thought was her father all her life, up to 2 weeks before.....

amother

Tomato

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 7:07 pm

I’m in middle of reading it as well. It’s an interesting book. But really not realistic at all in an emotional health sense. I’m thinking maybe it’s Israeli… or maybe some things were just left in translation.

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 7:15 pm

It is an adult book. It doesn't have anything a teenager shouldn't read but, yet, it feels too emotionally loaded for teens

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 7:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It is an adult book. It doesn't have anything a teenager shouldn't read but, yet, it feels too emotionally loaded for teens

Thanks.

shaindeldevora

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:46 pm

OP. I agree with so many of your questions. Firstly as badly written (translated?) As it is I couldn't put it down. I stayed up till 2am today to finish it! The plotline makes no sense but what upsets me most is how everyone speaks to poor devoiry. He adopted sister is a horrible person, her real sister is disgusting. I wish at some point she'd have yelled at them for treating her so disgustingly, talking down to her, demanding she does stuff, making conditions and no one even considers that she's had her whole life turned upside down AND the man she thought was her father just died. They treat her like a shmatta

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:51 pm

Also, it seems like her husband starts out being understanding but sort of runs out of patience at some point.

Also, Tanta Mirel brags that they consulted psychologists on how to deal with telling her the news. It seems like everyone goes out of their way to do just the opposite of what any professional would have advised.

Why does no one, in both families, feel this is traumatic for Devory and needs help coping, time to absorb and maybe a little commisseration?!

shaindeldevora

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Also, it seems like her husband starts out being understanding but sort of runs out of patience at some point.!

No, he starts acting like a gvir to his family, offering the apartment to his sister who then turns so nasty on devoiry. I can't even imagine what would happen if her husband takes the reins as CEO.
Meanwhile underneath everything they are obviously chasidish people, every so often they mention a Rebbe in passing, but they hardly act like chasidim

amother

Sat, Dec 25 2021, 11:28 pm

Actually, it was his father that sort of pushed him to give his apt to his sister.

I agree it makes no sense to make him ceo.

Also, that was another point I found really interesting. While I'm chassidish, I don't ask/discuss things with our rebbe on a steady basis. However, when such life altering/ shattering events occurring in their lives, I find it really strange that it never dawned on them to discuss/hear an opinion/ ask advice from a das tora/dayan/rav/rebbe etc.