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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 10:55 pm

After a boy gives a yes to a girl is he allowed to look into other shidduchim while waiting for the yes from the girl?

amother

Purple

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:19 pm

I wouldn’t.
What if he likes someone else and then she gets back to him with a yes.
How long is the turn around?
3 weeks I would just wait, 3 months I would move on.

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:27 pm

Not really

amother

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:33 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I wouldn’t.
What if he likes someone else and then she gets back to him with a yes.
How long is the turn around?
3 weeks I would just wait, 3 months I would move on.

A girl has up to 3 weeks to check out a boy?

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A girl has up to 3 weeks to check out a boy?

No. It should take a week or so

amother

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:35 pm

amother [ Hyacinth ] wrote:

No. It should take a week or so

What happens if shadchanim call while you are waiting for a yes?

amother

Cerise

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:36 pm

I have a dd in shidduchim. You're expected to give an answer within about a week after getting a yes from a boy Some shadchanim push for a quicker answer.

Once a guy gives a yes to a girl he should wait for her answer before going on to the next girl, as long as she responds within a reasonable amount of time.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What happens if shadchanim call while you are waiting for a yes?

Then you tell them that you just gave a yes and you're waiting for an answer.

amother

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:45 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Then you tell them that you just gave a yes and you're waiting for an answer.

Can you hear about the other shidduch?

amother

Sun, Dec 26 2021, 11:48 pm

[quote="amother [ Cerise ]"]I have a dd in shidduchim. You're expected to give an answer within about a week after getting a yes from a boy Some shadchanim push for a quicker answer.

Once a guy gives a yes to a girl he should wait for her answer before going on to the next girl, as long as she responds within a reasonable amount of time.[/quote
Of course he can’t give a yes to the next girl

salt

Mon, Dec 27 2021, 1:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Can you hear about the other shidduch?

I think going ahead to hear about the second shidduch will make the boy feel like he may always have something better coming, and he'll be more likely to say no to the current one too quickly.

If it's you, the mother, looking into the girl first, I would say that you could go ahead and just hear a little about the girl, but don't give any info over to your son yet.
Make him think that this current offer may be "the one". Don't let him think "go out with this girl, but if it doesn't work out, there's another one lined up"

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