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Six digit income - breaking even or rich?
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 8:24 pm
I have observed the following and I wonder what others think.

On many threads you see people writing about the huge expenses of a frum lifestyle and how when you add it all up, it costs a lot.
But then, we you see a couple who makes nice, say 200-250k (young family) and even more for a larger family, you think wow they're well off, you somehow view them as 'rich'.
So why when there are people who can BH cover their expenses easily but dont have tons of extra cash lying around, do we think they're rich?? We all know how much life costs. I find that this attitude causes people themselves to feel rich when they start making money, even though in essence they are not really rich. They start acting rich and then the ones who make more then them start thinking hey why can I not afford that expensive car etc.

I feel like it goes directly from the struggling-to-make ends meet to the rich!

Do you see this as well?
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amother




Saddlebrown
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 8:29 pm
Eizehu ashir hasameach bchelko- after struggling to make ends meet when ppl finally can pay their bills they are so happy with that, and that makes them feel rich!
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amother




Springgreen
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 8:33 pm
We make 6 digits, but like just 6, a drop over 100k. We have 4 kids and are barely making it. We would be better off if we wouldn't be in debt which we accrued when we were making even less money, but we'd still be just about maybe breaking even.
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 8:36 pm
Idk about all the theoretical stuff but My husband and I just did our budget after moving and the numbers are high. We have 2 kids bh and no tuition yet.

We don’t do anything fancy but between one kid needing some extra therapy and daycare expenses for both (and we send out to a cheaper place). The hiking prices of all kinds of groceries etc and just life. Everything adds up!

We live in a relatively high cost of living area (not Lakewood) and we calculated that 200k would be comfortable for us in this moment so we can cover our costs of living, save for a house and cover student loans. This wouldn’t include many ‘fancy’ extras but would mean not counting everything I add to my cart in the grocery. So I can buy challah and not stress over the 5$ but I wouldn’t be buying Ami or Mishpacha more than the once a year I buy them now.
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amother




Mocha
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 9:10 pm
I think it depends, we're making a little over six figures and I feel rich. We own a home, and I have everything that I need including extras! We both grew up in simple homes and always lived within our means yet now we can splurge on some extras and even put away a decent amount each month. For comparison we live in Jackson.
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momof2+?




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 9:35 pm
amother [ Mocha ] wrote:
I think it depends, we're making a little over six figures and I feel rich. We own a home, and I have everything that I need including extras! We both grew up in simple homes and always lived within our means yet now we can splurge on some extras and even put away a decent amount each month. For comparison we live in Jackson.


Do you mind me asking what size your family is?
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amother




Mocha
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 9:58 pm
momof2+? wrote:
Do you mind me asking what size your family is?

Just the 2 of us, but I have a medical condition that costs about $1500 a month so I would compare that to childcare.
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amother




Blush
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 10:07 pm
Living on $600k a year and don’t feel rich yet.
Maybe rich means different to different people.

Lease simple minivan, simple house…
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amother




Rainbow
 

Post Tue, Dec 28 2021, 10:18 pm
To the op - it's pretty common for people to say, I earn $X, so I ought to be able to afford luxuries A, B and C. Especially when non-Jewish coworkers at the same income level are indulging. But of course, absolute numbers are meaningless. What matters are your expenses.

If you send to MO schools, your tuition bill can easily run into six figures. If you live in an expensive neighborhood, it's housing costs. If you have health issues you may have enormous expenses.

It's also true that many people think they are living simply because they live in a place where simple living is quite luxurious. Best to live among neighbors with truly simple standards and not to get caught up in "needing" luxuries.
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amother




Plum
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 3:07 am
We make combined just under 200k pre tax.
5 kids
I feel like we are making it ok. We don't live a luxurious lavish lifestyle. But we are also not struggling. I don't have to keep to a strict strict budget but I can't just buy whatever I want.
We both contribute to retirement funds and investments and pay a mortgage on a house which is appreciating every year and we are very on top of what our retirement income will be.
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amother




Papayawhip
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 3:09 am
We're technically 6 digits with just over 100k pre-tax, but barely making it, if that.
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amother




Ghostwhite
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 3:27 am
We make 230 5 kids bp. We struggle every month. Figured out we need another 100 to b comfortable and not think b4 spending a dime. It’s crazy. Grateful for what we make
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amother




IndianRed
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 4:16 am
It depends on so many thing and making 100,000 is so diff then 250, 000.
We make 6 figures. (A drop over 100k) My son needs a lot of therapy. We pay for health insurance privately. Full tuition. We have 3 kids. I wouldn't say were barely making it but we definitely cant just buy whatever we want whenever.
I dont think I have extra luxuries. We have no cleaning help vactions etc
BH I'm so happy where we are and how far we've come!
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amother




Lightcyan
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 4:20 am
Six digit income is far from rich for most. Thats just the way it is these days with being a frum family
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amother




Wine
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 4:27 am
150,000-200,000 is comfortable for most.
250,000-500,000 means luxuries
500,000+ wealthy
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amother




NeonGreen
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 4:33 am
My kids tuition is $170k before taxes, without breaks. That's like $225k of salary. So if I make 250-300k, we get no breaks but barely have enough to cover other living expenses. If I make less, I get breaks, but they will take the max they can while leaving us to penny pinch and barely survive. That's the life.
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amother




Maple
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 4:35 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I have observed the following and I wonder what others think.

On many threads you see people writing about the huge expenses of a frum lifestyle and how when you add it all up, it costs a lot.
But then, we you see a couple who makes nice, say 200-250k (young family) and even more for a larger family, you think wow they're well off, you somehow view them as 'rich'.
So why when there are people who can BH cover their expenses easily but dont have tons of extra cash lying around, do we think they're rich?? We all know how much life costs. I find that this attitude causes people themselves to feel rich when they start making money, even though in essence they are not really rich. They start acting rich and then the ones who make more then them start thinking hey why can I not afford that expensive car etc.

I feel like it goes directly from the struggling-to-make ends meet to the rich!

Do you see this as well?

We cover our expenses, but we also HAVE a lot of expenses. I don’t know if we are what you would consider a young family- we have 4 kids, ranging from high school to preschool. Cost of living is high where we are (Greater NYC area) tuition is high. For example, my daughter is going for an MRI today, it costs $205 WITH insurance. She has to go back next week for the results. We have two kids in after school activities (needed for my sanity) plus one who does gymnastics (needed for her self esteem)
Are they extra expenses? Yes, but in our eyes (I’m not asking what anyone else thinks) they are needed. We also have to pay a driver to take one of our kids to school every day, plus gas expenses from doing all the other carpools. (None of our kids have bus) I guess some people would consider us rich, others would consider us “comfortable.”
Oops, forgot to add, full tuition for 4 kids.
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amother




Chambray
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 5:48 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
150,000-200,000 is comfortable for most.
250,000-500,000 means luxuries
500,000+ wealthy


This all depends on how many tuitions one is paying etc.

we are making arnd 130k combined salaries and with 4 kids in the tri state area, we are barely making it. We pay low rent bec we live in a small apt . we cant afford a mortgage unless we move oot but our jobs are here so moving oot would mean switching jobs which wouldmean we wouldnt earn 130k

We have to be very very careful with what we buy for food because (im grateful we are not eligible for food stamps) but we really cant spend much on food. We pay close to full tuition and cant afford many "regular" things others do/have. I posted on here before about tomchei shabbos and ppl attacked me saying its for the poor ppl (I dont get tomchei shabbos) but I really dont understand bec it seems that the "poor" ppl are getting tomchei shabbos/food stamps etc while also spending money on birthday parties(and they own a house) and other for their kids....im not jealous, but it doesnt make sense. im grateful for what we have.

We do put some money away for future simchos, but I dont agree with you, op. I dont think ppl who make 6 figures think they are rich because it depends on what the 6 figures is. 100k salary is not the same as 600k salary and having a larger family to support is not the same expenses as a smaller family. And, some ppl especially mechanchim, get free clothes/food etc (good for them but if their wives are earning 80k and combined they earn over 100k, then with these free things, they may be doing better than others not getting free things.)

life is hard...we work long hrs and are exhausted but we are grateful for what we do earn and as long as we do our hishtadlus its from hashem but 6 figures like 150k or even 200k is not rich unless you are older like my inlaws paying no tuitions ...
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amother




Tealblue
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 5:52 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
150,000-200,000 is comfortable for most.
250,000-500,000 means luxuries
500,000+ wealthy


This will vary tremendously by family size and location.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 6:24 am
amother [ Chambray ] wrote:
This all depends on how many tuitions one is paying etc.

we are making arnd 130k combined salaries and with 4 kids in the tri state area, we are barely making it. We pay low rent bec we live in a small apt . we cant afford a mortgage unless we move oot but our jobs are here so moving oot would mean switching jobs which wouldmean we wouldnt earn 130k

We have to be very very careful with what we buy for food because (im grateful we are not eligible for food stamps) but we really cant spend much on food. We pay close to full tuition and cant afford many "regular" things others do/have. I posted on here before about tomchei shabbos and ppl attacked me saying its for the poor ppl (I dont get tomchei shabbos) but I really dont understand bec it seems that the "poor" ppl are getting tomchei shabbos/food stamps etc while also spending money on birthday parties(and they own a house) and other for their kids....im not jealous, but it doesnt make sense. im grateful for what we have.

We do put some money away for future simchos, but I dont agree with you, op. I dont think ppl who make 6 figures think they are rich because it depends on what the 6 figures is. 100k salary is not the same as 600k salary and having a larger family to support is not the same expenses as a smaller family. And, some ppl especially mechanchim, get free clothes/food etc (good for them but if their wives are earning 80k and combined they earn over 100k, then with these free things, they may be doing better than others not getting free things.)

life is hard...we work long hrs and are exhausted but we are grateful for what we do earn and as long as we do our hishtadlus its from hashem but 6 figures like 150k or even 200k is not rich unless you are older like my inlaws paying no tuitions ...


My situation is similar to yours. We make a drop over $100k and really struggle, barely make it through the month. It's hard because I am working 3 jobs and ii already have a master's, it's not like I can really do more to earn money and there's only so much we can cut out.

It sounds like I have a good job based on what I do and I'm happy to have it, and that's what makes it so difficult. To work so hard to live "poor." I'm working hard on myself to be grateful for everything we have and see it all as brochos from Hashem.

I also learned that if you have self respect and don't think of yourself as a rachmanos other people won't look down on you either.
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