Six digit income - breaking even or rich?

amother

Freesia

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 10:21 am

Were at 180 with 4 young kids and it feels like enough but maybe because we lived poor for so many years. Full tuition is about 35k. We bought when houses here were cheap so our mortgage is about 1k. It is a simple old house that we have been slowly renovating. We dont scrimp on food but I try to be mindful about spending. Same with clothes. I definitly dont spend hundreds on designer clothes and accessories and 100 dollar shoes for the kids. We do put into our retirment funds and save for the kids every month. About 1k total of saving per month. It is a good income for now but as the kids grow it will need to increase which bderech hatevah iyh it should.

amother

Burntblack

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 10:30 am

We are a family of 6 and our gross is about 130k a year. We live in NY and we are not comfortable. I wouldn't say we struggle - we bh have what we need but we are definitely careful how we spend and watch what we buy. I am on big tuition scholarships I pay maybe 40% of the ticket price. We bh own a house and our mortgage is 3000 a month. Assuming you have more than two kids and are completely financially independent it is basically impossible to live on less than 100k and keep your head above the water.

amother

Tealblue

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 10:52 am

amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:

You are magicians! I wish ppl can share their budgets.

amother

IndianRed

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:00 am

This is my budget if it can help anyone. 3 kids one is home with me. A little over 100k combined income (I work from home while she naps) in Lakewood
Expenses:
Utilities 250
Food including target stuff 1000
2 Cars leased 460
Gas for cars/insurance 400
Mortgage 2500
Miscellaneous including phone and internet 250
daycare 375
Tuition 840
Health insurance 1000

Off the top of my head some things might have gone up/down

ETA the math comes out to 7,075 a month.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:03 am

amother [ IndianRed ] wrote:

What do you mean one is home with you? A baby not in daycare? Or only one child still living at home?

My tuition is way higher. My mortgage is way lower but we pay much more for heat in winter.

My health insurance is almost completely covered by work (I work for a healthcare system).

amother

IndianRed

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:05 am

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

What do you mean one is home with you? A baby not in daycare? Or only one child still living at home?

My tuition is way higher. My mortgage is way lower but we pay much more for heat in winter.

Yeah meaning one is a baby and she is home with me. I do my work while she naps. The other 2 one goes to daycare and one is in school

amother

Rose

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:13 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have observed the following and I wonder what others think.

On many threads you see people writing about the huge expenses of a frum lifestyle and how when you add it all up, it costs a lot.
But then, we you see a couple who makes nice, say 200-250k (young family) and even more for a larger family, you think wow they're well off, you somehow view them as 'rich'.
So why when there are people who can BH cover their expenses easily but dont have tons of extra cash lying around, do we think they're rich?? We all know how much life costs. I find that this attitude causes people themselves to feel rich when they start making money, even though in essence they are not really rich. They start acting rich and then the ones who make more then them start thinking hey why can I not afford that expensive car etc.

I feel like it goes directly from the struggling-to-make ends meet to the rich!

Do you see this as well?

Haven't read any responses yet but a few thoughts....

I can't imagine that in today's economy that anyone thinks a family bringing in $100,000 (that's 6 digits) is rich.

When people make more, they live bigger, so unless they are making a REALLY lot more, they are going to continue to just cover their bills. Significant bump in salary usually means opportunity for bigger/ nicer home, cars, wardrobe, vacation vs. extra cash sitting in the bank. So again, bills just covered.

What do you mean by "acting rich"? How do you think rich people act? I'm a bit lost on this point.

amother

Daphne

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:47 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I find that this attitude causes people themselves to feel rich when they start making money, even though in essence they are not really rich. They start acting rich and then the ones who make more then them start thinking hey why can I not afford that expensive car etc.

I think the problem lies in looking at what other people have to figure out what you can afford. Every family is different, and even living in the same area and sending to the same schools, with the same number of kids, every family's finances are different.

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

Haven't read any responses yet but a few thoughts....

When people make more, they live bigger, so unless they are making a REALLY lot more, they are going to continue to just cover their bills. Significant bump in salary usually means opportunity for bigger/ nicer home, cars, wardrobe, vacation vs. extra cash sitting in the bank. So again, bills just covered.

It doesn't have to be like that. I think it's healthy to remember that people can live below their means. My family has always strived to do this. We've been at various levels of income, with 2 kids. At one point we were making 75-85k and I felt pretty comfortable. We could pay all our bills easily, and while we were on a strict budget, we BH never had to worry about expenses that came up.

In the last couple of years, our income has gone from about 100k to about 220k (pre-tax.) Our spending has not changed much. My kids still wear mostly hand me downs and second-hand clothes. We've never bought new cars. We don't have cleaning help. We've never taken vacations (we have traveled to visit family every few years). We haven't done renovations on our house. We have a small family, live out of town, have a very low mortgage payment.

I do spend a little more on myself now, but for the most part, our expenses are the same.

Yes, I feel rich. I know we are blessed.

amother

Burntblack

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:52 am

amother [ Tealblue ] wrote:

You are magicians! I wish ppl can share their budgets.

This roughly our budget. Family of 6 (oldest kid is 9)

net income 9050
tuition 2100
mortgage 3000
grocery 1000
utilities 450
savings 650
car and life insurance 350
cleaning help 400
miscellaneous (dental visits/car repairs/keyboard lessons/diapers/clothing etc)1100

We do not have any car payments and dh is in klai kodesh and paid a lot in parsonage which does not count as income for government health insurance so we qualify for the essential plan and child health and insurance is close to nothing.

amother

Rose

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:54 am

amother [ Daphne ] wrote:

Of course it doesn't. But it usually is. That's the world today.

amother

Glitter

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 12:08 pm

"Six figures" is meaningless. 100K or 999K are very different. Furthermore, much depends on family size and location. What makes you very very comfortable in Milwaukee, WI or Binghamton, NY may be barely scraping by in NYC or LA.

Not to mention that "breaking even" also depends on how well you manage money. You can be making 900K a year but if you spend lavishly, you may not only not break even but may be deeply in debt, whereas a frugal person making a fraction of what you do may be socking away money every year.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 12:17 pm

[quote="amother [ IndianRed ]"]This is my budget if it can help anyone. 3 kids one is home with me. A little over 100k combined income (I work from home while she naps) in Lakewood
Expenses:
Utilities 250
Food including target stuff 1000
2 Cars leased 460
Gas for cars/insurance 400
Mortgage 2500
Miscellaneous including phone and internet 250
daycare 375
Tuition 840
Health insurance 1000

Off the top of my head some things might have gone up/down

ETA the math comes out to 7,075 a month

So it seems like you're just making it after taxes. When kids are all in school and if you have another kid it will be tight.

small bean

Wed, Dec 29 2021, 12:20 pm

amother [ Glitter ] wrote:

This!

I was putting away at 60k a year and did not feel poor - and same for 6 digits.

No matter what we made, I didn't feel poor. Things have definitely changed in my spending habits, I pay more for convenience now but I never felt tight BH.

doodlesmom

Thu, Dec 30 2021, 4:26 pm

All I can say is when my husband started his business he figured that when he earns as much as his current paycheck he’ll quit working for his original job, but when that happened we realized that we were breaking even with both incomes, and kept upping the bar.
I don’t know how we originally did it on that salary.

I guess needs and wants grow along with the income.

Rubies

Thu, Dec 30 2021, 4:46 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

I think up until a certain point you make do without a lot of necessities. It seems like double should cover everything. Then you realize that if you have the money you can afford therapy/needed vacation/braces/car.
It takes a huge jump to afford all necessities, have savings, and more.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Dec 30 2021, 5:32 pm

amother [ Daphne ] wrote:

Can you explain why you’re kids are still mostly wearing hand me downs and second hand while you now spend more on yourself?