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Forum -> Household Management -> Organizing
How do you do it all?



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 9:59 pm
Dear ladies,
Can someone please help me understand how women do it all?
I have help with laundry and basic cleaning, and yet at the end of the day I am ready to collapse.
I BH have a busy household and work full time.
I get home together with my kids,(to a clean home that gets destroyed in minutes lol) have to cook supper, bathe..feed..story time...bedtime..clean up...
How do women without help juggle it all? The last thing I would be able to do after all this is laundry!
I'm just wondering how it's possible? I myself feel like I can use more help. How do women without help do it? How? How?
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amother
Blue


 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 10:01 pm
Dh helps a lot

I use birth control for at least two years after each dc

I use disposable tablecloths and keep a handheld vacuum nearby

I try to distract younger kids with an activity (done on a disposable tablecloth)

I try to do easy dinners

Baths are every other night
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 10:08 pm
I work almost full time. Out of the house 35 hours a week. I have no cleaning help, it’s hard we just trudge through and are always exhausted
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amother
Molasses


 

Post Wed, Dec 29 2021, 11:40 pm
Since it’s not working for you, obviously something has to give. The secret to everyone else’s success is that they drop some things that are less important. And it’s going to look different in each persons house.
For example, if having a large family is of utmost importance, then you’ll have to hire more help. Or become a stay at home mom.
Personally, I’m pregnant and exhausted right now. Here are the things that go in my house:
-kids get bathed once a week 🙈
-laundry is shoved into drawers, I don’t fold anything
-suppers are simple and easy and when I do cook, I make enough food for a few nights.
Figure it out with your husband. What can you do to make it more manageable?
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my mama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 12:15 am
Can you prep dinner before you leave in the morning, or do the basic prep I.e. peeling, chopping, spicing... the night before?
Crockpot/instapot dinners are a sanity saver on busy days.

Sit the kids down to an activity when you arrive home. My kids love crafts, so I usually do that. Story CD's and coloring books are another winner. (I don't like screen time on school nights).

If the kids are very hungry I'll give them a fruit or veggie sticks until dinner's ready.
I prefer when homework gets done before dinner as well, gives me time to help out while the dinner is cooking.

Baths are usually in and out unless I do them an hour before bedtime to waste some time, bedtime usually gets another story CD (I'm really bad at storytelling)
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 2:27 am
DH helps and makes half of shabbos.

Routines so stuff don't build up.
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amother
DarkCyan


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 5:54 am
I work full time (9-5) but husband has been unemployed since beginning of covid. Dh does every thing at home including laundry, shopping, suppers, entire shabbosim impressive enough for guests etc..we literally switched roles. I come home to a clean house every day. Bh I make enough to cover all bills plus savings/investing. No cleaning help necessary. He also bathes the kids (every other day)..that is the only way the house functions..otherwise when both parents work full time I honestly have no idea how it all gets done!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 6:08 am
Who says anyone "does it all"?

In my house, a million and one things don't get done every single day, and I don't even have little kids at home.

Prioritize the things that NEED to get done, and if you can still stand at the end of the day, work on the rest.
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amother
Springgreen


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 6:25 am
I don't work quite full time (only 30 hours a week instead of 40)- I have an hour after the kids leave before I leave that I use for clean up and/or errands.
And my husband is in charge of a lot of the clean up- he empties the dishwasher and sweeps/ vaccums and picks up the mess while I do bedtime. He folds and puts away laundry and changes sheets during his lunch break the day he works from home.
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amother
Pansy


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 6:27 am
I definitely don't "do it all" but I always feel like I'm constantly moving and usually pretty tired. That said, certain things are important to us and we drop other things. For example, having guests on shabbos is really important to us but having finely cooked dinners during the week is not: my little kids eat toddler food and my husband and I fend for ourselves. So "making dinner" takes about 7 minutes.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 9:22 am
I don’t work

When I saw that dh didn’t do anything (took about 10 years to come to this conclusion) I stopped working.
Even without working it’s really a lot for me to be on top of everything. I used to have cleaning help for a few hours a week but now I don’t. It’s hard. There’s always a dirty bathroom, messy bedroom and the inside of my closets really need help. I’m not sure what the solution is but I’m not managing very well either. I imagine that one day when my kids are married off things will be more under control in the house.
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amother
Thistle


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 9:24 am
I'm at the far end looking back. Regardless of what your theoretical standards are, if you don't have much or anything in the way of domestic help, you have to let some things slide. I don't like the expression "lower your standards." I never lowered my housekeeping standards; I just didn't live up to them for about twenty years. Here are just a few things things I now have the leisure to do that I NEVER did when I had young children at home:

Sweep the kitchen floor at least twice a day. I used to sweep once a week before washing the floor for Shabbat, till my kids were old enough to do chores and then it was their job on a rotating basis.

Wipe down the kitchen table after every meal and snack. I would do this only when I noticed that it was sticky or crumby.

Clean the kitchen backsplash on a regular basis.

Spot-mop the bathroom floor when it gets spotty and sweep and wash it for Shabbat. Like the kitchen, it was a chore for my children to wash it for Shabbat. There was no in-between spot-mopping.

Make my bed every day. We all changed linens and made the beds for Shabbat, but the rest of the week beds remaned unmade. Things get dirtier and dirtier if you don't clean them, sometimes past the point of no return, but beds don't get any messier if you don't make them. Plus, there is no point of no return.

Iron my shirts. I always wore no-iron polyester, which was fine in winter but like walking around swathed in Saran Wrap in summer. Now I wear cotton shirts most of the year and have the time to iron them.

Dust.
Remove splash marks from hardwood floors.
Scour cookware.
Clean the fridge more often than just before Pesach.

There's lots more, of course, but this just gives you an idea. My house wasn't ever a genuine health hazard but nobody ever asked me how I manage to keep it clean, either. No matter. During those 20 years or so my housekeeping standards were in storage, not lost. Once my life situation changed, they came right out of the closet ready to be used again. And so will yours.
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