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NY-area communities- can't drive
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 12:11 pm
DH and I and our family live in Washington Heights. We love that it's out-of-towny in standards and warmth, walkable, and short subway commutes to Midtown Manhattan. Most people don't stay when their families grow past 3 kids because it's mostly 2-bedroom apartments and gets tight with space. It is also challenging that the community is so transient that friends come and go a lot, and the families with older kids don't have a ton of friends to pick from. DH would rather something at least a little more aesthetically beautiful because it is a little grimy in certain places. Garbage, dog poop, run-down buildings, etc.

We are RWMO YU grads. The hard part here- I don't drive for medical reasons. I have well-controlled epilepsy with a seizure about once every 2-4 years in the past, though iyH never again, so that cuts out most places. I also in general prefer more urban communities.

You can legally drive if you haven't had a seizure in the past 12 months, but to me it feels like a real risk to move to a suburban community and be stuck unable to carpool, shop, etc. for a year (I work from home). I am also just even terrified to drive now out of fear of that one day it could happen again, chas v'shalom, even if it's been a few years since having one, though DH isn't as long as it's been a year. I would really, really prefer somewhere where I can at least walk to kids' schools and a grocery store in case. So the Heights has been great in that respect.

With all that, I'm trying to think of places where we might move in the next 2-5 years. I want good commutes (<1-hour public transportation) to Midtown (DH has a NY area-exclusive career), walkable to a school/basic stores, lower materialistic standards (though we BH are in good shape), not transient, some people remotely in our demographic of late 20s/mid 30s.

We're not yeshivish (fully covered with tichels and sometimes sheitels but no tights, black kippa no black hat, we watch clean movies, very good secular studies are important, though don't want co-ed schools). We might consider a community where I need to slightly adjust if it's otherwise a good fit, but we wouldn't want to settle somewhere where it's the norm to expect long-term kollel or we need to feel like we're faking ourselves.

Anyone know about communities in Queens? My impression of Kew Garden Hills is that it's kind of similar to the Heights in terms of transience and young people in and out, which I don't want more of. We're Ashkenaz, so living in an exclusively Bucharian community wouldn't feel natural to me, which I've heard other parts of Queens have. I've heard Jamaica Estates is mostly people in their 50s and 60s. Are there parts of Queens that could be fits for us? Or anywhere else commutable to Manhattan?
Out of town not an option unfortunately.

Would love some ideas!!
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amother
Daisy


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 12:53 pm
I’m a Manhattanite. I feel you. While I can drive I dislike doing so (and having to do so) and I dislike car culture. I know exactly you’re type (in probably similar) but what you’re looking for is very very tough. Riverdale is transient. 5T May have some streets close to shopping, schools and errands but I can’t see it being what you are looking for otherwise. The typical suburbs (Oceanside, West Hempstead, fairlawn, teaneck) may not work for the car reason. Brooklyn is very $$. I hope you get more helpful Responses than This one lol bit I wanted to say that I know exactly what you want and why I hope you find it
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amother
Springgreen


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 12:56 pm
I live in the 5 towns and if you pick your block carefully you can have all that besides for lower materialistic standards.
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amother
Trillium


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:00 pm
Passaic might be close to what you want. Everything isn't right next door, but somewhat walkable.
And there are trains right into Manhattan.
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amother
Hydrangea


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:05 pm
Was going to suggest KGH. Has a big mix. Modern orthodox, chofetz Chaim, even some heimish, bukharian. Not snobby in the least bit, very warm community . I know a few couples who have “permanently “ settled there in the last 5 years (they aren’t Bukharian or Chofetz Chaim).
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:19 pm
amother [ Hydrangea ] wrote:
Was going to suggest KGH. Has a big mix. Modern orthodox, chofetz Chaim, even some heimish, bukharian. Not snobby in the least bit, very warm community . I know a few couples who have “permanently “ settled there in the last 5 years (they aren’t Bukharian or Chofetz Chaim).


Interesting, I like that. Do you know what streets ish to look at if I were going to Zillow? They moved to houses?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:20 pm
amother [ Springgreen ] wrote:
I live in the 5 towns and if you pick your block carefully you can have all that besides for lower materialistic standards.


Yeah, the materialism is pretty paramount to us :/ though I know I'm asking a lot.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:21 pm
amother [ Daisy ] wrote:
I’m a Manhattanite. I feel you. While I can drive I dislike doing so (and having to do so) and I dislike car culture. I know exactly you’re type (in probably similar) but what you’re looking for is very very tough. Riverdale is transient. 5T May have some streets close to shopping, schools and errands but I can’t see it being what you are looking for otherwise. The typical suburbs (Oceanside, West Hempstead, fairlawn, teaneck) may not work for the car reason. Brooklyn is very $$. I hope you get more helpful Responses than This one lol bit I wanted to say that I know exactly what you want and why I hope you find it


Thank you!! Will share if I get the magic answer, lol.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:23 pm
Parts of Cedarhurst and the 5T that are close to the LIRR might work.

Unfortunately I find the people I know there very in-towny and materialistic, but perhaps that's only the people I know. It is a pretty wealthy community, in general.

Maybe West Hempstead? I don't know much about it but it does have the reputation of being lower-key than the 5T.
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STovah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:24 pm
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
Passaic might be close to what you want. Everything isn't right next door, but somewhat walkable.
And there are trains right into Manhattan.


Passaic would have carpool issues though. I think OP needs a place where kids get to/from school by bus.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:26 pm
STovah wrote:
Passaic would have carpool issues though. I think OP needs a place where kids get to/from school by bus.


Yeah, I think so too. But little ones I wouldn't love to even put on a bus...
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amother
Trillium


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:27 pm
STovah wrote:
Passaic would have carpool issues though. I think OP needs a place where kids get to/from school by bus.


Tge few people I know in Passaic walk to school. Is that not an option in some areas?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:29 pm
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
Parts of Cedarhurst and the 5T that are close to the LIRR might work.

Unfortunately I find the people I know there very in-towny and materialistic, but perhaps that's only the people I know. It is a pretty wealthy community, in general.

Maybe West Hempstead? I don't know much about it but it does have the reputation of being lower-key than the 5T.


Yeah, 5T def out of the question... West hempstead would be our #1 pick if we didn't have this driving issue, though it is getting a little more in-towny acc to friends who live there. Any single gender schools afaik are all a drive (aka not HANC)
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:30 pm
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
Tge few people I know in Passaic walk to school. Is that not an option in some areas?


I also wouldn't want to send to local BY / mesivta type schools. AKA more like YNJ, Heichal, Bruriah, etc. But that actually is something to think about. I think they have a school YBH more our speed?
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:32 pm
I think West Hempstead could be a good option for you. Nice mix of people who all get along, definitely more low key than the 5 towns. There is a grocery store there, and certain streets are definitely walkable to it. In addition, you can order from stores in the 5T and they will deliver to you.

Schools will be more of an issue in terms of walkability, but you would get bussing. You'd still have to do carpool on no bussing days, like legal holidays, but presumably you could pay someone to pick up your kids for you.

There are plenty of young families in the community, as well as older families. It's not a transient area as there aren't very many rentals, so almost everyone there owns their home.

A lot of people from there commute to midtown, the LIRR has a stop in West Hempstead.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:33 pm
Parts of Queens may work. Kew Gardens, Kew Gardens Hills, Forest Hills.
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amother
Hydrangea


 

Post Thu, Dec 30 2021, 1:35 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Interesting, I like that. Do you know what streets ish to look at if I were going to Zillow? They moved to houses?


Start around Main/68th , you can go a few blocks up and down from main in either direction and then all the way to at least 78th. Some are in houses yes depends on how much money they hVe
I know some super wealthy people there but they drive regular cars, wear regular clothes , live in house identical to the neighbors … I love it
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 02 2022, 10:07 am
Thanks everyone for the ideas.
Bump for anyone else?
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amother
Blue


 

Post Sun, Jan 02 2022, 10:18 am
Queens is a great option. Lots of public transportation and a lot walkable.
Would you consider Brooklyn?
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Jan 02 2022, 10:23 am
I can really see Passaic working for you. I lived there for a number of years and I warm and down to earth (for the most part). And yes, YBH and then busses to Bruria or something similar. Also very very easily accessible to Manhattan. I commuted every day.

KGH also good in terms of community but it's bus plus train to get into city. Less easy without car, imho.
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